I gotta go with nunchuks. Anything you sling around on a chain seems silly to me. It seems like nunchuks are only good weapons against the unarmed. Anyone else has more range, usually something sharp in play and there isn’t a limp chain in the middle reducing the force of your strikes.
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Let me introduce you to US Patent #1183492A Albert Pratt’s Helmet Gun.
OK, I think you cam take the prize
I mean there is a helmet that’s even stupider, or perhaps just more tragic.
WARNING: Extremely NSFL - features a device built for self-harm.
spoiler
Back in the 1970s, a troubled but mechanically inclined youth built this macabre “weapon.” It featured 8 short metal tubes affixed to a crude helmet. Each contained a shotgun shell. Each shell was then wired to an arc welder. At the flick of a switch, 8 shotgun shells activated simultaneously, aimed directly at the inventor’s head. The kid really, really wanted to make sure he didn’t survive this. So he built a device to shoot himself point-blank with 8 shotguns simultaneously.
I like how it has a spike on top so you can do a running headbutt if the gun misses
This goofy mall ninja shitoh it’s a little sharky
Hey, I’m not abiding by nunchuck slander. They were invented by okinawan peasants who were barred from owning weapons by their samurai occupiers, so they made all sorts of makeshift weapons instead, such as the nunchuck being derived from an agricultural flail. Is it the ideal weapon? No, but you had to use what you could when a samurai could legally kill a peasant without consequences
Honestly improvised peasant weapons go hard AF, a while ago I had this cool idea for a hammer/sickle symbol for the Hussites that’s a crossed threshing flail and a straightened scythe (how peasants would rotate the blade 90 degrees to make a glaive). Maybe making the sign of the cross because of the Hussite’s “heretical” Christian beliefs.
Pitchfork
Gonna defend the nunchuks, they’re basically just a flail, you can hit with a lot of force without feeling recoil through your hand because of the chain, and nunchuks have roughly the length of a shortstaff at full range, but foldable because it’s segmented.
If you actually wanted to fuck somebody up with nunckuks, there’s no need for the elaborate moves they do in exhibition nunchuk competitions, you would just swing that shit at full extension towards somebody’s head or legs. And, as somebody who has dicked around with practice nunchuks for fun, it’s not hard to avoid hitting yourself if you keep it simple, follow Dusty Rhodes’ rule “do not do shit you do not know how to do.”
I’ll recommend checking out a youtube called “Jesse Enkamp” who’s a karate guy and explains the history of it in one of his videos, if anyone is interested. (this is not an endorsement of their other content, which I have not viewed or vetted)
EDIT: to answer the question, those self-defense spike things. Like yes you could hurt a person with them, but practically a crenelated flashlight does the same shit, but is also a flashlight, making it more practical and less embarrassing to carry with you.
(this is not an endorsement of their other content, which I have not viewed or vetted)
He’s sensationalist and a bit unscrupulous.
He visited Steven seagal and validated his obviously fraudulent martial arts record. He’s also argued that Mike Tyson uses karate.
He does have great knowledge of the history of karate tho.
I say this as someone who has watched a ton of his stuff lol
Yah nunchucks are basically double-sided flails. They can wrap around your opponent’s blocks, too. You lift your sword up to block a downward strike from a nunchuck, you’re still getting hit in the face.
The self-defense spikes always look like shitty stilettos to me. I wouldn’t want to get hit in the face by one, but I’d probably laugh my ass off if someone threatened me with one. Some sufferagette time traveler pulls a foot-long stiletto out of her hair? Yah I’m about to get stabbed so I wouldn’t fuck with that.
if you have a sword why are you parrying blows with a dude with nunchucks lol. Just slice the guy directly. So what if you get whacked for it, you win that trade
idk I’m not a ninja who gets into ninja battles
I am and I’m afraid that is correct
there is a nice scene in one of the John Wick movies where Wick shows off some practical nunchuk work. The nunchuks themselves had of course come from a display case.
Flails also suck and weren’t really used that much historically if at all
My vote is for early chemical weapons (like the kind they pumped out via hoses) because the wind would change and they’d poison their own guys. A liability that big is it’s own kind of stupid.
Modern weaponry? FASCAM (Family of Scatterable Mines). Effectively a “minefield in a can” where each mine is launched from a tube that has a little computer brain in it that is supposed to have a timer that tells it to detonate after so many hours.
Good idea right? Forces can quickly drop some area denial minefields over square miles in a matter of hours instead of the days it took with with hand emplacing that will explode themselves instead of needing to be removed by hand. But with all the points of failure in computery devices… internal battery failure, failure to communicate between the brain box and the mines before deployment, the mine canisters getting really hot making the solder on the mines’ circuit boards getting soft enough that things break loose when hitting the ground nothing about these things seems to be a “good idea.”
Wind up having to manually proof minefields anyways AND you’ve got WAY less idea where the fucking things landed than with hand emplacements.
Oh… and the antipersonnel mines that are mixed in with the antivehicle/tank mines try to throw out trip wires when they are dropped. Making an already fucking terrible weapon that causes terrible situations even more terrible.
I don’t know much about mines but with like gps and drones and shit, wouldn’t mines that don’t do anything until someone sets em off remotely work pretty good? You’d need a guy watching the mines for the right people to blow up pass by if they do but they pay people to watch monitors all the time anyway
(been a bit since I checked my replies)
I don’t know much about mines but with like gps and drones and shit, wouldn’t mines that don’t do anything until someone sets em off remotely work pretty good?
That’s just a command detonation explosive then. The purpose of large belts of landmines as in (100 meter long by 50 meter wide belts that will have hundreds of mines) are meant to be seen by opposing forces to stop or turn their path of travel where artillery, airstrikes and ambushes can do the work. That a mine in a belt knocks out a vehicle or kills personnel is a secondary purpose.
If it counts, my pick is railway artillery guns. They’re super impractical and inaccurate, and extremely vulnerable to being attacked and disabled. They use way too many resources for the impact they have. But on the other hand I absolutely understand why they were built, because man has always wondered: “what if we just make the gun bigger?”
They seem fun
Those guns where it’s just five barrels all pointing in different directions
Like, you shoot once and maybe hit one of the line of guys charging at you
But then his four friends are pissed
How dare you.
I think the idea of was being damn sure you’d kill one guy. Guns were bad at aim and sometimes just didn’t feel like firing back then. Having 5 meant at least something should hit whar it was meant to
This is why pirates had the right idea
Carry 8 regular guns instead
THERE WAS A FIREFIIIIIIIGHT!
They’re kind of designed for a very specific niche, particularly in 18th century naval combat where you want to fill a narrow space with multiple shots and the heavy smoke from the powder prior to attempting to board so that the defenders either get hit, take cover, can’t see for the smoke or are disorientated by the noise.
The keyblade
This!!! HOLY SHIT I HATE KEY BLADES!!
They are not blades! They are just big keys you fuckers! You are beating each other up with large, badly weighted clubs! Stop calling them blades! STOP!!
The users probably said skill issue but it never looked like a good idea to me
Yeah but consider that they were commonly used on horseback. They didn’t even need to swing it that hard to wipe out someone on foot. It’s like a mega clothesline.
I think there’s debate about whether a ball on chain flail was ever actually designed used as a serious weapon in the middle ages. We know straight length weapons like morningstars, war hammers and maces were and peasants used threshing flails in revolts.
But there’s not many archaeological examples of non ceremonial or farming flails. Like a flail designed for fighting. There’s drawing in marginalia but they also draw dick trees and rabbits fighting snails.
Most evidence we have is mounted knights would use lances first, as they were longest but also easily lost or broken, then swords as they still had decent reach if you’re riding by someone, and maces if you got scrunched together against other cavalry, for short range and armour piercing.
Glad you posted those so I didn’t have to make sure I wasn’t wrong and get into a research hole
For what it’s worth, if you are fighting knight vs knight, you aren’t too worried about hitting yourself with that ball&chain on the back swing etc, cuz you got good armor.
So I bet some people used it in duels and for one on one combat, but I doubt it was much of a war weapon, simply because if you are fighting next to your friends, you’d like to not hit them on accident with your weapon.
I thought the misconception was that the chains were exceptionally long. Like even the length of the chain in the picture is kind of excessive. Also that the balls were particularly heavy. Then again I learned this almost 20 years ago, maybe it was a theory that was crumbling as I learned it.
Edit for my own childish amusement: “Pain is stored in the balls.”
A quick dive back into the research says it’s still debated but generally the rough consensus is peasants having flails would have been super common, as they were a threshing tools. In Eastern Europe and Central Asia they were somewhat present as weapons, in Western and Central Europe they would have been pretty rare (and high to late medieval period) but not unheard of. They would have been the Nunchaku of their era. Like a French knight might think it an odd choice if a peer wielded one.
This article is interesting https://www.mdpi.com/2409-9252/4/1/9
I didn’t know that. I had heard that it was mostly used as bludgeoning weapon. It always seemed like something unsafe to use that could come back at you in unexpected ways when I imagine someone using it but I guess armor must help even if it did?
Damn, I was going to say nunchuks too. Why would you use a weapon where getting hit in the face with your own nunchuk is a staple in slapstick comedy?
The Apache Revolver.
Looks cool as hell, but it notably lacks a safety catch or sights.
Isn’t the whole idea that it’s something you stick in someone’s rids during a bar fight and then can use as a knife after?
I’ve got the urge to make a ur mum joke, but I’ll refrain.
I think a lot of tactical nuclear weapons are kinda dumb. Things like the Davy Crockett or nuclear artillery seem to put your own troops at significant risk, and it’s also an easy path to escalation.
Every single bladed weapon you can buy in a mall.
what if it has a dragon on the blade
Especially if it has a dragon on the blade
Bullshit. Dragons are strong
Too bad my country does not have weapons in malls. Well maybe the gardening aisle of the supermarket
tacticool lever guns
like I really can’t picture a situation where having a lever action with a bunch of pic rail attachments isn’t either goofy overkill or you’re in a situation where a semi auto with all the same attachments would be massively more practical
sometimes those are for complying with state laws.
