Never have I read finer poetry.

L-undone

PENVS

Lol I didn’t last time and had to hire a second set of movers. And those second motherfuckers stole my cell phone.

You mean like having movers coming in a few weeks but not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country? Cuz it feels like you might be referring to my having movers coming in a few weeks but me not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country.

He shopped out his lips.

Meowing is very common among cats. Go look up videos on YouTube where people attach GoPros to their outdoor cats and see them interact with other cats in the neighborhood.

They struggle to make ends meet during periods of economic downturn because 1) they are “wealthy”, but not “filthy fuckin’ rich”, and 2) they live almost beyond their means and…when they have to “cut” back…it involves downsizing the Beamer 7 Series to a Volvo S90 and spending two weeks in Hawaii on vacation instead of a month in Europe.

For most of the working class who are well off enough to be able to afford a roof and know where our next meal is coming from, they are one bad month away from couch surfing.

To the “wealthy” in this scenario, I say to you tighten up those bootstraps…quit eating avocado toast and all that.

To the “filthy fuckin’ rich”, I say this: Guillotines exist for a reason.

Whycome only occasionwhile?

Because they both forgot punctuation marks and didn’t put the comment on the photo itself. If Sorse just adds the punctuation, we can achieve perfection.

Yours is the closest to correct, but still not quite right. It said to comment ‘thank mr skeltal’ and yours is missing the punctuation marks.

This is the only reason I still teach teenagers after 17 years, and I will not expound further.

And you simply must begin and end every sentence with uWu, obviously.

Wait a minute…using an RX modulator, I might be able to conduct the mainframe cell layer and hack the uplink to the download. It means with the right computer algorithm, I can hack you back in time, just like a time machine.

Straight dating online is like trying to find drinkable water in a crisis situation; women are stranded in the ocean, and men are stranded in the desert.

“Arizona toddler…died”

Brian Regan once equipped that he had taken a speed-reading course. “Since then, I can read 2000 words per minute. But…my comprehension’s plummeted.”

I only date women who do exactly what they want to do and not what society says they should do. As it happens, they generally don’t wear makeup every day.

JUNK IT!

“Oh…no, no, no honey, the steel foil hat doesn’t go with that outfit, try the gold one.”

Photogenic: Looks good in photographs; attractive

Memory: A construct of one’s mind that allows them to recall information

a photogenic memory = a beautiful mind.

It is humorous because the assumption is that I mean to say “photographic memory”. One with a photographic memory can recall visual information to which they’ve been exposed with great accuracy.

But when I tell this joke to friends or colleagues, I say “No no, a photogenic memory…I have a beautiful mind”. There was a film with actor Russell Crowe called A Beautiful Mind in which he plays a brilliant professor who we discover late in the film has schizophrenia which has caused him no small amount of embarrassment and challenges in his life. According to diagnostic testing I had done, I have a high intelligence quotient along with autism, and it, too, has caused me embarrassment and challenges in my life.

So when I say I have a “beautiful mind”, people remember that film and it occurs to them that I am saying I am intelligent (something friends and colleagues already know about me) but that my autism (something they also know about me) makes me a little weird and is a burden to me sometimes. It’s just a bit of self-deprecating humor.