Unethical life pro tip: want to kill yourself but left something for your family? Buy a life insurance policy, call the suicide prevention hotline and wait for the cops to kill you. Isn’t technically suicide, so the life insurer can’t deny your family claim!!
You think the cops wouldn’t mark as a suicide?
Insurance companies hate this new easy trick.
At least in Canada life insurance will still cover you committing suicide, but it has to occur 1-2 years after your plan starts.
Same with my policy in the US. Already have it seasoned past the mark, so I joke with my wife that I can make her a millionaire.
Or pay off the corner to list your death as natural causes or something.
Like my uncle did.
What does that mean?
Auto correct got me again. Coroner.
For those that are genuinely confused, there’s two very important things you must know. The coroner is the job title for the guy who writes up what caused you to die. They do things like autopsies (when required), and they’re basically a doctor for dead people.
The other thing is the English idiom of “paying [someone] off”, which is basically a common way to not so subtley say that you’re bribing them.
So in plain language: there is an extremely good chance that my uncle bribed the coroner to ignore whatever he found on my uncle when he died and say he perished from natural causes. This normally implies something about self deletion and insurance, since insurance basically never pays out if you die by your own hands.
Is anyone still confused? Please let me know if you are and I can address any part of this that might not be crystal clear.
It’s not quite about clearness, but if your uncle did that all by himself that means he must have trusted the coroner a lot. Which is a bit surprising with regard to bribing one, to my mind.
He had connections. May he rest in peace.
He had fallen in with some questionable types throughout his life, partly due to his work. I won’t get into many details here, I don’t want it to be traced back to his family or anything; but due to the circumstances he found himself in, bluntly, he was worth more dead, than alive. He would only be worth anything if he died “naturally” or something, since life insurance is kind of a stickler for that sort of thing.
All I was told was that he had made arrangements for his body to be found, and around what was going to be done afterwards to ensure that insurance paid out so his family would be taken care of.
The circumstances were kinda BS too, it wasn’t his fault, but he was liable and there was little he could do to change that. He knew what the outcomes were and to him, death was the better option. I’m not saying I agree with his choices. I had no real part in them, I was too young at the time to really grasp what was happening, and appropriately, I was not aware of, nor involved in any of it, and heard most of what I know through my older siblings and from my father (his brother). He apparently sent my dad a note the night before he was found dead basically summarizing what was about to happen, so it was very clearly planned. As far as I’m aware, everything went according to plan and though I don’t have much contact with that part of my family, I believe they’re doing just fine.
Just a touch more detail on the circumstances, it was some legal issue he found himself kind of “holding the bag” for (so to speak) so his outcomes were: (extremely unlikely) he would be found innocent, and allowed to return to his “normal” life - obviously he didn’t think this was possible at all. (most likely) he would be found guilty and sentenced to many years in prison. Being a convict would ruin his chosen vocation as there’s a lot of trust required in what he does and a conviction would basically exclude him from working in his field. (alternatively) he dies, insurance pays out, his family gets a big wad of cash, and he would be just as useless as if he was found guilty; but now with a pretty significant amount of money given to his family.
I don’t hold it against him. I don’t have any strong feelings on the matter. It’s just something that happened.
It’s sad that people find themselves in such situations, my condolences… well, to him and his family mostly
probably to pay sb in advance to falsify the death certificate
I kinda legit want to check the conditions of my current life insurance policies regarding suicide. Not because I want to off myself today, but because I do want to off myself if I get the stage four diagnosis or some such thing.
Usually, after 2 years suicide is covered.
It’s called “Gettin’ the job done!”
Cops will still claim it was suicide-by-cop. Which is some top-tier copaganda, because it’s just another way of them saying “if you call us while in distress, there’s a good chance we’ll kill you then blame you for it.”
Suicide by cop is a real thing.
In all seriousness does the insurance still pay it if it’s suicide by cop?
It was suicide. Claim denied!
But he had a heart attack.
We have a receipt that shows he ate McDonald’s 3 years ago. This is clearly suicide by food.
Probably not, most insurers love to have every possible exception in the contract (e.g. taking part in illegal activity), to get out of payment
Or hold on for two years. At least in the US, the non-payout for suicide is only allowed the first two years of the policy.
Can’t die from suicide if you die from homicide first
Can’t go to hell from suicide if someone kills you
True but unfortunately his pants were 2% elastane so he will, in fact, still be going to hell
That’s why I never wear pants at all! See?
deleted by creator
Kirkland signature stretchy jeans are the GOAT. If I’m going to hell, at least I’ll be wearing comfy pants
Oh sht. The cops were the good guys all along. They’re angels sent by God to take us all to heaven 🙏🙏🙏
/s (I’m going to vomit from having to type that)
Truly a big brain move by god
I guarantee his death is listed as “suicide” in the official report.
I mean, without context it’s hard to tell, but suicide by cops is a thing, some people take advantage of the trigger happiness of cops and make them kill them.
“make” them
cop drops two mags into a non-threat
HE MADE ME DO IT!
reloads for a third mag
gotta be sure
“It’s coming right for us!”
Thank you for not saying “clip”
This comment is elsewhere in this post with exclusively upvotes but you getting down voted for some reason lol
saved himself a quarter by not usin one of them fancy suicide booths
That is why you put the quarter on a string
I mean…technically the suicide was prevented.
Hahaha 🥹😂😂
He reportedly yelled “killsteal”
I’m going to hell for laughing so hard at this.
Same vibes as this
Lmao. Norwegian? Swedish?
Swedish. I remember when this was on TV.
That could have been the poor man’s plan all along. Suicide by cop. Local PD is just providing a free service. If only there was another way.
Trained, qualified police doing quality police work keeping dangerous people with guns off the street, got it.
Never call cops to solve a problem for you because then you have TWO problems.
To anyone who’s feeling down around this time of year, call 911 or 988. Nothing is better than having you around.
Edit:
I really feel strongly about this and I misworded my message. Get help if you need it.
You matter to me. I mean that with all of my heart.
Nothing is better than having you around.
I get what you’re saying here, but it strikes me as funny that this sentence could also be read to mean that having nothing around is better than having you there.
Oh, wow. That’s a different take that I hadn’t considered. I’ll be anyone’s something. Even for a single comment… and that’s way better than nothing.
People like you always say that, but you don’t actually want/need that kind of responsibility. There are suicide hotlines for a reason; let trained people handle it.
People like me?.. I don’t like to reveal a lot about myself online. That being said, I’ve talked many people out of committing suicide or self harm. I’ve said before in other comments that I’m in the medical field at a high level.
Positive mental health treatment is an extremely important subject to me. I stand by what I’ve said because I’ve been there when people have been in crisis.
Kneeling down and talking to a newly diagnosed schizophrenic 18 year old in an isolation room or a suicidal 16 year old girl is not easy and sometimes even dangerous.
All I’m trying to do here is give people immediately available resources if they’re feeling unwell.
Uhhhhhhhhh, very funny to recommend calling the police in the comments on a post about a man getting killed by the police because he called for help.
Given the context of the post, might not be the best idea
Please don’t suggest that people call 911. Not in the replies to this article.
911 doesn’t just activate police. It activates Fire and Emergency Medical Srvices aka ambulances if your life is in danger for any reason.
cops murder suicidal man
if youre suicidal, get thr cops involved!
I love your energy, friend. Thank you for caring about strangers. In this world, that means a lot. However, I think this advice is very region-specific. In most of America, for instance, this isn’t good advice. This is closer to calling the Army than a crisis counsellor. In other places, where police have the resources to help someone in this position, this may be excellent advice.
There are probably better places to direct people for resources like this. Don’t stop fighting; fight more effectively. If you can’t find anything better to link people, @ me and I’ll try to help
<3
Can’t you ask for an ambulance when you call the emergency line? That’s how it is in Australia.
Curb Your Suicide
Why the hell would you send a SWAT team to someone suicidal? O.o
Guess he called hotline saying he’s gonna take someone else’s life before his own?
I hope so. otherwise this is just psychotic.
Is this like door dash for saddies?
ACAB
