I began to see the sheer breadth of people seeking connection — and the assumptions I’d internalised about desire, age, ability, and worth started to unravel. I spoke to clients in their 20s and clients in their 80s. One elderly gentleman in a wheelchair had his adult daughter arrange the booking for him. Another, a middle-aged man with motor neurone disease, needed help with logistics, but still sought intimacy. A respected psychiatrist would ask for “absolutely no talking”. A retiree just wanted to be cuddled and told that everything was going to be okay. Some requested elaborate fantasies. Others asked for nothing more than to feel normal – seen, desired, held.
It was, frankly, beautiful. And confronting. Because it shattered something I’d long believed: that only certain people get to be sexual. That desire is reserved for the abled, the attractive, the young. That illness cancels it out.
It’s fascinating that sex work is still illegal in so much of the world.
Only very backwards countries.
While I agree, people don’t often think of countries like Sweden as very backwards.
Sweden is progressive in some areas and lacking behind in others.
As all nations are.
sex work isn’t illegal here last i checked, what’s illegal is buying sex
Which makes it illegal. If you prosecute either the customer or supplier of a good or service, you have made it illegal.
how does it make it illegal? it’s effectively a ban, sure, but it’s explicitly not illegal to sell sex, you cannot face legal charges for being a prostitute.
Because it shattered something I’d long believed: that only certain people get to be sexual. That desire is reserved for the abled, the attractive, the young. That illness cancels it out.
Seems like a very strange belief to have held in the first place (with respect to prostitution), even with her medical condition. It’s quite obvious that if you open up sex and intimacy to anyone who can pay for it, there will be zero restrictions on the type of clientele. That’s the entire point of the service.
also the fact that old people when left to their devices will start having kinky sex is a pretty common joke
When I worked in a nursing home, there absolutely were residents who tried to sneak off together. I don’t know if any sex actually happened (I doubt it, since these people needed assistance getting out of their wheelchairs), but people definitely got touchy-feely when they could.
There was a triad in one of the units. A quiet man, who rarely spoke and mostly chilled out by himself, managed to get two girlfriends. Sometimes they’d sit together and he’d hold each of their hands at the same time. The women would sometimes sneak a quick reach for other parts of his body, as he sat there with this big smile on his face.
I figured it was none of my business, and I guess the rest of the staff felt the same way. They were all consenting and they kept their clothes on, so if granny can cop a quick feel, who are we to judge? I was just glad they had found a way to be happy while living in such a depressing place.
Yet as a disabled person it’s a belief that society constantly projects onto you.
I read that as less of a “belief” and more of an “assumption”. Most people don’t think about paraplegic sex at any point on their life, so her assumption went unquestioned until she was prompted to by sex work.
This reminds me a series of “porn” pictures of a paraplegic couple having sex that sometimes pass around on the internet. It was like the third time I saw them that I leat that the pictures were requested from the couple itself to be shared on the disability community, to show up that disability dosen’t mean an asexual life.
If you are young and attractive and the only other context you have for sex is porn the belief is understandable. Its emotionally immature view that I’m glad she grew out of AND decided to write an article about to help others.
Agreed, really is a super sheltered view of sexuality, it’s basically impossible to keep all kinds of people from fucking in general
It’s funny how many receptionists brothels have
