It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn’t come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn’t do? I WOULDN’T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.
Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.
There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there’s no hand contact but you can’t control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there’s gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.
Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That’s right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.
Also without TP there’s no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP’ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn’t have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?
Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker and somewhat by your primary school. So if no one ever mentions that to you, you’re probably not going to think about it, and even hearing about it is going to seem somewhat alien.
I personally just shit into my hand and cram it into my eurethra
Not my comrade.
lmao we have an insult for europeans which translates to “butt unwasher” (or کون نشور). y’all have the permission to use it.
Is that Persian or Arabic? And can you transliterate please LMFAO. I love this.
it’s Persian. technically it transliterates to butt unwasher the translation would be “someone that doesn’t wash their butt”.
This is going on some protest signs for sure, thank you comrade
if it gets a quarter popular as cracker then that would be excellent.
Gatorade is more refreshing and hydrating.
id go as far as saying buttholes crave it at this point. they cant just go back to water.
Gatorade tastes so shit it honestly belongs in waste water.
Hexbear is back
It never left.
WASH IT!
Better question: Why don’t we wash water with asshole?
They do actually all sewage treatment plants have filters that contain millions of tiny assholes.
ego and homophobia/sexual propriety. those are the kneejwrk reactions I’ve heard from non adopters.
they “know” their asses are clean because they’ve smeared shit into their balloon knot for decades and it was “fine”. got some peanut butter in a keyhole…? just use some tissue paper. totally hygienic. to consider otherwise is to consider one has been living with low standards for personal cleanliness despite full access to all the necessary technology and infrastructure of empire.
when they finally consider that maybe dry paper doesn’t really clean feces off of skin effectively, they lash out about how the desire for a clean anus is some kind of sexual perversion they are “above”.
when they finally consider that maybe dry paper doesn’t really clean feces off of skin effectively, they lash out about how the desire for a clean anus is some kind of sexual perversion they are “above”.
This sounds like exaggeration, but I’ve actually had someone say he doesn’t use wet wipes because it’s gay. “Why does my asshole need to be clean? For my boyfriend??”
Absolutely deranged puritanical culture.
Bidet gang.
Clean my ass with water?!? Absolutely not. Fish fuck in water.You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit.
Nobody smells like shit after using toilet paper unless they’re doing it wrong
Then a sizeable percentage of people are doing it wrong because why on earth do so many people smell like poop? I know some people don’t even wipe but I’ve asked some whether or not they have wiped and despite that they still smelt like poop.
but I’ve asked some whether or not they have wiped
I’m in awe
the canadian toilet paper lobby has controlled every major political and media figure since 1900 in the west, to ensure the steady consumption of their product. where do these massive profits go? nobody knows, but some suspect the canadians are building a weapon underground in north sasketchewan
I just gotta say I’m really confused by the “you don’t need TP” angle of bidet shilling, like I am a bidet user and a bidet shill but I still have to use several pieces of multi-ply TP to dry off down there, and sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed despite my 30 seconds of ass-wriggling.
sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed
That’s why I prefer bidet shower that way it doesn’t miss. If you are using the bidet to only wash your asshole then there’s no need for drying but I understand that people may want to dry. This is more of an anti-wiping post rather than anti-TP post I think I lost the plot after the second sentence but we can live in a world where the majority wash their ass and there’s still TP left for people that really want it.
comrade, if you’re just washing your anus and nowhere else with the bidet, then proceeding to not wipe at all, congratulations, you’ve simply relocated some of the shit to other parts of your crack.
I’ll make sure that the area is clean then wait a little bit so that it drys out then leave. If I could somehow pin point target the water straight into my anus and nowhere else I might as well go get an enema.
but like… why not do a quick wipe to get the residual shit? bidet alone is almost as gross as wiping alone, imo.
There isn’t usually any residual shit left but you can still wipe if you want it’ll still use way less TP than wiping.
I think they mean shit-water gets everywhere
I bought a bidet and am never going back. Sidenote: were you here for the bidet struggle session where a user decided bidets were bourgeois?
were you here for the bidet struggle session
No that’s funny you got a link?
This may not be the very first case of it, though it’s 3 years old and in its small comment chain, it’s not being treated as a repeat. I’m not seeing an earlier mention offhand.
But if you weren’t aware, this topic of struggle is one that has come up numerous times on hexbear. But this might be the thread in question.
It brings me profound sadness that so much of Hexbear’s greatest hits are forever lost to the void due to account wipes (no pun intended) and users who can’t stand by their previous proclamations (usually with some excuse about opsec). The loss of that most important of all struggles to a string of “deleted by user”'s is one of the greatest of such tragedies. Fortunately,
@ButtBidet@hexbear.net@BeamBrain@hexbear.net is doing god’s work and summed up the most relevant statements.
I live in a vehicle
Yeah I’m gonna buy one of these (I want it for camping trips too) but I expect it’ll take a bit of getting used to and may not be as easy to use over a composting toilet where you want to avoid getting liquids in the solids chamber as much as possible.
