It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn’t come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn’t do? I WOULDN’T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.

Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.

There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there’s no hand contact but you can’t control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there’s gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.

Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That’s right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.

Also without TP there’s no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP’ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn’t have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?

  • puckylinky [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    27 minutes ago

    seeing all the roundabout justifications to not wash your ass with water after pooping in this thread (which is really not difficult to do at all or even anymore wasteful than washing your hands and face, which i hope yall do but atp wouldn’t be surprised) just further confirms my tendency to distance myself from the cracker and cracker brained

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    3·
    7 hours ago

    I’ve had extreme culture shock when I went to Indonesia. Both the unsanitary conditions of their squat holes and the hoses or cups they use sitting in pools of stagnant water in a country notorius for malaria and mosquitoes used to both wash shit and shower with. The whole “wet room” concept when part of my job is to grow pathogens like Ecoli. Just saw everyone’s shit germs everywhere and had a few days of mild panic attacks. Not to mention trying to keep my clothes dry in thise things and seperate shoes and lea-breakdown

    Then how do people do that without getting their clothes all soaking wet?

    Fast Forward after the shock john-agony wears off, I’ll shower bidet and still theres shit that sticks and then is now in the shower in a drain that isn’t a power flush. Which grows germs and doesn’t go down properly.

    My hybrid solution is to wet some TP to clean the area and then follow up with some lotion or mineral oil wipes until it’s clean. Paper just doesn’t do a full job. Then get your shit germ sprayer thing (bidet arm) that gets shit on and aprayed with shit crossed my mind, but our water is COLD and how do you keep it clean?

    Every description online is like very vauge and overly modest in using a bidet and I just need something explict step by step.

  • peeonyou [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    8·
    12 hours ago

    Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker and somewhat by your primary school. So if no one ever mentions that to you, you’re probably not going to think about it, and even hearing about it is going to seem somewhat alien.

  • daniyeg [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    27·
    20 hours ago

    lmao we have an insult for europeans which translates to “butt unwasher” (or کون نشور). y’all have the permission to use it.

  • Euergetes [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    25·
    23 hours ago

    the canadian toilet paper lobby has controlled every major political and media figure since 1900 in the west, to ensure the steady consumption of their product. where do these massive profits go? nobody knows, but some suspect the canadians are building a weapon underground in north sasketchewan

  • lapis [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    21·
    23 hours ago

    I just gotta say I’m really confused by the “you don’t need TP” angle of bidet shilling, like I am a bidet user and a bidet shill but I still have to use several pieces of multi-ply TP to dry off down there, and sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed despite my 30 seconds of ass-wriggling.

    • IHateCabbage420 [he/him]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      6·
      21 hours ago

      sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed

      That’s why I prefer bidet shower that way it doesn’t miss. If you are using the bidet to only wash your asshole then there’s no need for drying but I understand that people may want to dry. This is more of an anti-wiping post rather than anti-TP post I think I lost the plot after the second sentence but we can live in a world where the majority wash their ass and there’s still TP left for people that really want it.

      • lapis [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
        11·
        20 hours ago

        comrade, if you’re just washing your anus and nowhere else with the bidet, then proceeding to not wipe at all, congratulations, you’ve simply relocated some of the shit to other parts of your crack.