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ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months ago

Biden Takes Immediate Action On Los Angeles Wildfires By Sending New Weapons Package to Israel

thehardtimes.net

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Biden Takes Immediate Action On Los Angeles Wildfires By Sending New Weapons Package to Israel

thehardtimes.net

ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 months ago
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WASHINGTON — President Biden launched into immediate action to supply federal aid to the raging Los Angeles wildfire by sending a new $5 billion weapons…
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  • eestileib@sh.itjust.works
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    This shit is all too realistic.

  • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
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    Don’t worry, everyone. Trump will be in office soon, and everything will get fixed.

    • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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      Absolutely! He has the best plans. Just ask him what they are.

      • TheDoozer@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        The best concepts of plans.

      • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        His plans are war, he says he will empower Israel even more and then as a result warring with Lebanon and Iran, possibly Egypt but maybe not, will spread.

        He hasn’t outright said the consequences of his actions but it doesn’t take a genius to work it out.

    • BetaBlake@lemmy.world
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      He’ll magically lower the prices of fire hoses and air tanker pilot training.

      • Pup Biru@aussie.zone
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        4 months ago

        more like he will jack up the prices and personally pocket the difference somehow

    • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      /s is mandatory, if you need evidence that your take is a commonly held belief then I give you 6,264,244 DNC voters who stayed home and 77,303,573 Trump voters who showed up.

      • NOMOREYNKSSS@lemmings.worldBanned
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        Removed by mod

      • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Listen, randomfirstword+randomsecondword, you’re gonna have to get a better script from your handler, because shit like this may have worked 6 years ago, but now it’s just static.

        • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          FiniteBanjo is my actual brandname. Site launches sometime this year.

          WBY mr. randomadjective randomverb?

          • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Ahh, yes, totally verifiable and definitely not a sad sack in a troll farm, right comrade? Mine is from a Gorillaz song, “All Alone” off of Demon Days. Give it a listen, it’s my favorite track on a completely stacked LP.

            • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              Well if you want the inspiration, then I had this shower thought that a guitar base kind of looks like an infinite symbol and from that you can derive the finite banjo.

            • melisdrawing@lemmy.world
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              4 months ago

              Such a banging album.

    • nieminen@lemmy.world
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      Can’t tell if it’s sarcasm, or if you’re super misguided…

      • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Just like the kids in The Goonies fixed the statue of David by gluing the dick back on upside down, so too shall Trump invert the American dingus in acts of corporate interest and capitalistic greed.

        • Masta_Chief@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          What a sentence

    • SoJB@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      Liberal reveals fundamental incapability of understanding why every county in their entire nation shifted towards Trump

      In other news, water is wet and libs support genocide

    • NOMOREYNKSSS@lemmings.worldBanned
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      Removed by mod

      • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        You’re gonna have to learn to troll harder. This is pretty weak bait, bruv.

      • lurklurk@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        I wonder if some client has support for regex-blocking of users… somehow I’ve blocked a lot of weird trolls with usernames similar to this one

  • seathru@lemmy.sdf.org
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    “Please turn off the space lasers.”

  • tissek@sopuli.xyz
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    If it wasn’t for the community I would have eaten the onion

  • Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world
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    Israel is a terrorist state

    • Mihies@programming.dev
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      4 months ago

      It has been for a long time.

    • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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      America as well

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    Best way to deal with runaway wildfires is to start runaway explosive fires somewhere else

    • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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      4 months ago

      I say we sacrifice some people to the fire lords. People that are in a certain percentage.

    • Phen
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      4 months ago

      There has to be some hard limit on how many fires can be happening at the same time, so keep the fires going elsewhere and this one will expire.

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Picard: “We have to figure out how to protect the civilians.”

    Worf: “WEAPONS TO MAXIMUM!”

  • DogPeePoo@lemm.ee
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    Finally, the Gazpacho police have the means to heat up their horrid, cold soup.

    • fed0sine@lemm.ee
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      GAZPACHO IS DELICIOUS.

      • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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        V8 is gazpacho.

        • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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          The water that accumulates in the bottoms of restaurant dumpsters is gazpacho.

          • tektite@slrpnk.net
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  • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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    Joe vs the volcano Wildfire

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