Got my name tattooed on her lower back. This was after we’d separated, I’d moved out, and divorce proceedings had commenced.
She married husband #3 the next year.
I think you might have misunderstood. She put your name behind her.
ROFL! I know it’s not the case, but that was a bloody funny take all the same. Good one.
This got me Lol
So, does husband #3 have the same name as you?
Lol - from memory (when she told me), no. Maybe husband #4 will. My ex collects engagement rings like Thanos collects Infinity Stones.
Thanos is engaged?! Dammit. 😭
No that is why she asks Husband #3 to read his name out loud when he is hitting it from behind.
I was going out with this chick for a while and we had just gotten serious for maybe a month and then she just goes and sleeps with some dude, she confessed and I dumped her by text. Then she has the gall a week later to chase me down the street begging to speak to me and apologizing while I was trying to walk home. At first I ducked I into a gas station to get away but even after I left it after 5 mins I was still followed for 1/2 mile. Like bruh.
She had the gall a week later to chase me down the street begging to speak to me and apologizing…i was still being followed for 1/2 mile.
I would have heard her out if i was you. Not because I’d take her back or believe a single word that comes out of her mouth, no, no, but the sheer audacity of doing that + the desperation to get you to listen…nah, whatever fiction she came up with HAS to be some Oscar-worthy writing instead of the whole “it was a mistake!” if she borderline stalked you to share it, and then thought for a second she still had a shot with you after.
That, or her (non-existent) balls are bigger than her brains.
Bruh not even. During that time I would take the bus and she would pass by my bus stop, slow down make eye contact then speed up. Wierd af. Like man why are you gonna play around with someone like that. Years later she had the gall to try and speak to me after I specifically told her not to contact me again years ago, because come on who would take that shit? Good lay though.
And I am once again reminded why you never stick your dick in crazy. The lay might have been worth it, but all the bullshit after? Fuck that, I’d rather find my someone whose not gonna make my canities worse even if the suck in the sack. Shit, I’m no pornstar myself so.
Please tell me you either put as much distance as humanly possible from her, got a restraining order on her ass, or, and god help them, she found someone else to haunt…
She fell and his penis just slipped into her vagina. Accidental sex happens all the time!!!
/s
Some people just can’t take a hint, huh?
thats annoying of her bro
once i binged a shitload of adderall for 3 weeks to paint a realistic oil painting of a cat for my ex to try to win her back. It was a very good painting, amazing imo with my lack of training
It wasn’t even of her cat though i literally googled cats and copied one. Idk what I was thinking. She just always wanted me to paint something that wasn’t abstract lol
No it didn’t work but she still has it 11 years later so that’s nice at least
This is definitely the most interesting one here both for unusualness and the switched perspective. Sounds like your cat did well at least.
Lying about events that allegedly happened while we were engaged, and expecting me to actually believe her. Specially when she switched who did what.
For example. “I even cooked at late night for you!” - err… no. She only cooked for me a handful of times, all of them afternoon snacks. (I’m not a big fan of afternoon eating but I appreciated the gesture.) I was cooking for her fairly often, including preparing a “fake” barreado (kind of stew) at 3AM.
Or claiming that a common friend (a woman) openly mocked her while we were drinking with friends, and I did nothing. I was there and I remember what friend said - a single sentence, roughly “hello and bye for both of you!”, since that friend was leaving as we were arriving on the bar. Even if she wanted to mock my then girlfriend, she wouldn’t have the time to do so.
What makes those funny is not the fact that she was lying, but that they’re such idiotic lies that you can smell the bullshit from a kilometre of distance.
Keyed my car. I’m not kidding. She keyed a message into the side of my car thinking it would get me back.
I don’t think a lot of thinking was part of that equation.
“Do you like me?”
Yes or No
Broke into my home. Twice.
Kinda more on the crazy spectrum than the funny spectrum 😶
Well… Can’t argue with that.
It’s it funnier if it was actually two different women who did this, twice each, years apart?
Maybe I have a type.
You’re going too far on the hot-crazy scale!!
Haha sounds like you definitely have a type!
Or just a bad lock
😂 that too!
I like to imagine that when you come in and see her you sing
And so you’re back From outer space I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key If I’d known for just one second you’d be back to bother me
Break into hers next. That will show her.
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Holy shit, I hope you found some way of forwarding that to his new partner…
“Look, I know you think I am insane, but let’s be reasonable. Are you sure you don’t want to be with me?”
Wait, that can happen?
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Not an SO story.
Not to you know brag or anything here guys but I did have 3 people fighting over me once.
2 of them actively ended up sleeping together to try and get me to pick one of them.
I chalk it up to, “pfft it’s because he uses Linux.”
Kidding of course. In all honesty, I had gone through a very confusing breakup. At the time I was sleeping with three people. All of them knew about one another and they all knew I wasn’t looking for anything serious because of the previous breakup. I was also trying to finish school.
All three people were really sweet and I still talk to two of the 3 and they are good people. We were all 4 going through a confusing time in our life. The one I don’t speak to now is married. I wish all of them well.
Also, before you ask. (You won’t but I feel the need to clarify) I am genuinely meh on the attractive scale or so I am told. So I don’t know which black magic was at work but it was a fun and stressful time.
I am reading half of these stories and just appreciating how all three of the people knew about each other and all ended up being chill with one another and me. You all are dealing with some crazy shit.
Everything he tried was cringe, not funny…
what was the cringiest thing he did
Offering me to do drugs together one last time even if he knew I was clean since a few years (this is not only cringe but also shitty, luckily I was in a good period so I refused) Then about 5 years after our separation he called my mom to tell her that he was still in love with me 🤦♀️
This is sus…
Are you sure you aren’t a drug?
Oh shit you caught me! But you don’t know which one I am…
I tried this weird trick where I respected her boundaries and eventually moved on with my life and we’re still friends 20 years later
Well that’s not very funny is it
Yep… this is exactly the way. Take the high road, no matter how much it may hurt you to do so. Future you will thank you.
Ya, they don’t ever want me back by the time it’s over. Burn bridges with napalm. I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating. However, no dating cheap floozies on the side.
