Like this:
But replace “Hawaii” with your location.
🙃
What a dumb message. Of course this is not a drill. This is a phone. My drill doesn’t have the means to accept incoming messages.
This ain’t my dad! This is a cell phone!
Happy birthday to the ground!
you need to acquire a better drill then
Same here. My city’s buildings are not made with missile protection in mind. We don’t even have basements for tornado protection since tornados barely ever happen here. And if an earthquake strikes, you’re basically doomed to live in a tent for the next decade of your life assuming you survive.
I hate Morocco so much.
My wife’s cousin actually got this text while on vacation in Hawaii. Said he just sparked up a joint n hoped for the best. It worked, so maybe I’ll do the same.
Smoke them if you have them. Why freak out.
Kiss my wife, and my ass goodbye. There are no shelters here.
Did you have several ribs removed?
Kiss my wife, and my ass
Careful about the order of actions.
Make sure my phone was actually on silent, put ear plugs in and go back to sleep. I’m too fucking tired to try and survive anything more.
Ah just dump all my cat’s treats in her bowl and probably go lie down.
Chug some NyQuil, take some sleeping pills and some Benadryl and deal with it later.
Visit from the hatman guaranteed
I would know it’s fake because nobody is nuking our small country.
you never know when the goodtime oilbug will bite 🇺🇲
We don’t have any oil luckily.
Oh! Oh! I have an answer for this. I remember around the time that The Day After aired, one of the local news stations ran a story simulating what would happen to my city were it hit by an ICBM. We lived on the far side of a hill, far enough away from downtown for it to be potentially survivable. I decided that if we got the warning, I’d grab my bike and light out for ground zero. Fuck surviving, I don’t wanna take the chance of being alive but horribly injured, and that aftermath shit just wasn’t worth it.
Oh, so if you ever wonder why Gen X/Xennials are so fucked up, there ya go.
I am “lucky” enough to live within a few miles of a place I’m pretty sure would be a ground zero in an all out nuclear attack. I live in a university town. And the university I attend has a nuclear engineering program along with an accompanying research reactor. In any all-out nuclear exchange, anything related to nuclear technology is at the top of the target list. A facility that trains new nuclear engineers is definitely on the target list. We’ve actually talked about this. If we get this message, our plan is to round up the cats, throw then in the car, grab every mind altering substance we can get our hands on, and go get wasted outside the front gate of the reactor building. We won’t try to break into the building or anything; the alert could always be in error and we don’t need a felony for trying to break into a nuclear facility on our records. But when hydrogen bombs are involved, the front gate of the reactor building is close enough to ground zero to do the job.
Sorry, but there are indeed fates worse than death. For one, we would be unlikely to survive the initial bombing anyway. But most people have this idea that you’ll get vaporized by a bomb. That’s not how these things actually work. If you’re killed in the first hour by the bomb, odds are it will be from being slowly cooked alive in the burning collapsed remnants of your own home. And sure, we could drive out into the country, but that would only ensure that we would die slowly from fallout induced radiation sickness, slow starvation after the complete collapse of all supply chains, or worse.
Trust me. If that alert comes, the ones close enough to ground zero to be atomized will be the lucky ones. This is something that you do not want to survive. I would encourage anyone that if they ever get that alert, to try to travel as close to whatever you think is your most likely ground zero as possible. You’ll be doing yourself and your loved ones a favor. Unless you’re already an off-grid survivalist type living in a self-sufficient compound way outside of any blast or fallout zone, all you’re doing by escaping the blasts is stretching out your own misery. Do you and yours a favor by making it quick and painless.
On another note, Happy New Year!
You sound a lot like Dr. Falken from Wargames.
I’ve planned ahead. We’re just three miles from a primary target. A millisecond of brilliant light and we’re vaporized. Much more fortunate than millions who wander sightless through the smoldering aftermath.
I mean, it’s not an irrational stance. Better to thoughtfully and rationally consider it and plan accordingly.
Really, it’s another manifestation of that whole, “which would your rather meet alone in the woods, a lone man or a lone bear.” A lot of guys simply couldn’t understand why most women would take the bear. But the worst the bear is going to do is eat you. And there are many fates worse than death.
Oh, I wasn’t meaning to suggest you were wrong. I’ve actually feel that Falken’s statement there makes perfect sense. Falken only goes wrong when he refuses to act to stop WW III on the assumption that since it’s going to happen eventually, why not now?
Why do the cats get put in the car? Are you bringing them with you and driving to the gates of the reactor to get high, or?
I mean, I’m not going to leave the cats to die in a collapsing burning house either. If I think being vaporized is the best possible fate for myself, why would I deny that mercy to my cats? And yes, in case it’s not clear, we’re driving to the reactor gates, with the cats in the car. They’re joining us for the blast. They’re going with us.
The plan is: grab cats and mind altering substances -> load up car -> drive to reactor ->park in front of gates -> get out of our minds, pet the cats tell bombs fall.
Ah, that makes more sense. Apologies for the confusion, I don’t live in a car centred place.
I’ll dodge.
Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.
“If you can dodge an ICBM, you can dodge a ball.”
Catch it and yeet it back.
You have to get the parry timing just right for that move.
“Serpentines… Serpentines… Serpentines…” 🏃
Just pull off one of these
Meh. I can still doom scroll in that time. Best use of my time I tell you.
Wank
Clearly, war has come. My town won’t be the one getting hit though.
Load a few jerry cans in the car, take out cash at the ATM, fill up as much fuel, clean water and firewood as possible, then stop by the local hospital and ask if they need extra hands. Meanwhile give my sis a call.
ATMs are offline due to EMP blast, which also killed your cell phone, cell towers, and battery to your car which is stuck in gridlocked traffic. Provided you made it far enough to actually get gas, others who didn’t have your foresight begin to eye your resources.
They’re also MAGA supporters.
If the endtimes come MAGA supporters will be relegated to foorsoldiers in my dictatorial regime
Meh, I’m in Scotland and the nearest even vaguely major city is 30 miles away, they could be setting off tsar bombas and I’d be fine from the several km of solid rock from various winding hills between me and the blast, probably wouldn’t even feel much of a pressure wave. Probably just start filling every container I can find with clean water.
Same but in France.
I live in an old house in a mountainous, sparsely populated area totally devoid of strategic ressources (Auvergne).
I’d probably go to my basement which is dug in the granite substrate and lined with stone walls at least half a meter thick.
The other option would be to go to the bottom of the neighbouring valley (at least 200m deep) and would be shielded by the surrounding terrain.
I choose this person’s basement
I’m not a guy but I’ll save you a spot by the veggie crate. It’s a bit damp though.
If they airbursted one of those on Edinburgh, people in Glasgow would get third degree burns.
It’s not gonna happen, but your comment got me thinking so I checked. AN602 is an egregious fucker.
So a quick check on this, For a 50 megaton airburst on that city 30 miles away (bit closer by the crow flies) I am within the third degree burn radius and the light blast damage radius, However some basic trig and an altitude map say I have no direct line of sight to the airburst assuming its detonated at an altitude of 1km, so I’m free and clear as far as third degree burns are concerned due to that being a product of the flash. As for light blast damage its likely somewhat lessened by the lack of line of sight and very bumpy intervening terrain, though my village is right along a major river and gives us a comparatively straight (by the standards of river valleys) run right to that city so window breaking is probably going to be pretty hit or miss depending on building orientation and local obstructions.
There’s also about 250m of elevation between Glasgow and Edinburgh which is fairly significant considering they’re 50km apart, a rough eyeball on an elevation map suggests that they each get at least partial obscurity from a nuke dropped on the other.
I think you might be better at this than me - I just glanced at https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ like some kind of chump
