hello

just got my neuropsychological evaluation results:

  • level 1 asd
  • turbo adhd
  • eating disorder (more specifically, pica syndrome)

also a bunch of other things that aren’t disorders themselves (neuroticism is the only one i can remember)

honestly, the primary feeling to me coming out of this diagnosis is “it’s not my fault i’m a total mess”. i thought the asd diagnosis would be more validating, but the fact that i’m in the 99 percentile in a lot of aspects of adhd really validates how i felt about this shit being really hard for me but easy for other people. it really flipped my perspective from “jfc i can’t get my shit together” to “holy shit, how am i still alive and able to earn a living while living 1000 miles away from my family??”

i’m not gonna let this justifying not even trying to be better, but it makes me more assured that i am really trying my best, that failures will happen, and that i should be kind to myself and honest about my limitations

also, i bought a dishwasher and my depression has been cured. why wasn’t i told about this before?

anyway, hello

  • beleza puraOPEnglish
    2·
    18 hours ago

    my old therapist left the clinic i went to and unfortunately i couldn’t feel comfortable around the person she assigned to replace her. she sounded really dismissive of my concerns, to the point asking basically “how are you so sure about your adhd?” (to her credit, though, she was the one who pushed me to get through with the neuropsychologic evaluation)

    now i’m looking for a new therapist somewhere my insurance will cover

    besides that, i am treating the adhd with bupropion, which sounded weird at first, but now that a few months have passed, it’s working out amazingly. my psychiatrist is a very competent young man and i’m really enjoying his work so far. i can’t wait what else he’s going to do with the full diagnosis in hands

    i’m feeling really hopeful about myself, just worried about my wife, who also just got the asd diagnosis + moderate depression + anxiety disorder and is not feeling as hopeful about herself as i am

    thank you for the kind words