He’s really just got that one “accomplishment” he’s proud of, huh?
You guys! I did it! Like, with an actual woman! And, wait for it, no condom! You guys, I wennt in raw! And I totally came inside! Is your mind blown yet?
Sure thing, JD, whatever you say. What was her name? Lemme guess, Broyhill?
Ashley.
Finnala.
That’s sofa king amazing.
If the world didn’t have so many J.D. Vances in it, I would reconsider having children.
Wow, he really wants to go with the “childless” thing, huh? Should go over swimmingly with Millenials and Gen Z that can’t afford to have children anymore.
He just wants Millennials to be the happy and proud parent Trump is of his children- Ivanka, Don Jr., Derek, Barron, and he doesn’t have any other daughters.
He probably knows their names as well as you.
I’m not so sure of that. Unlike him, I know Tiffany Trump exists.
Yes but what about Eric?
You mean Derek? Donald’s third-favorite son he forgets about? Yes, Donald Trump is very aware of his third son who he knows is definitely named Derek.
While he’s just an adultless child
He wants to ensure that all children have children. His type is couches, dolphins, and little girls.
His type is couches, dolphins, and little girls.
That’s unfair of you to say. The first one is confirmed to be a hoax.
No it’s not. So far, no one has been able to disprove that Vance fucked a couch.
A technicality, it was actually a love seat.
But he admitted it. He even went on the “Sectional Healing” podcast. His favorite type of couch to fuck is a chaise btw
And that right there is some fascism talking points.
Most of us are childless adults because of republican policies.
They’re so fucking stupid. If they wanted to keep making the ultra rich richer, they’d give all of us enough money to spend disposable income. But the current policies are coming to the inevitable late stage capitalism conclusion where none of us have enough money to continue propping them up.
It’s been decades of short term gains over sustainability, and we’re at the end of that pattern now
The Bronze Age belief system makes these guys really fucking weird.
This isn’t even bronze age bruh some primitive societies had women who specialised into certain tasks not have children for various reasons. Or even for paganist (religious) reasons.
Hey! It’s an iron age belief system
I’ve been saying this for a while now that this anger and resentment over childfree people has become increasingly pervasive and dangerous and it really feels like we are going to be one of the first against the wall.
Even among otherwise reasonable people I know there is a shocking amount of resentment towards people who choose to live their lives for something besides children.
It’s because so many of these people hate their children and resent those kids for being alive. I have heard other parents talk about how much they wasted on kids bringing them up, and how much better they imagine their lives had they not had kids.
They want other people saddled with this same burden and drag everyone down to their misery.
It’s natural as a parent to think about life without kids, especially with how miserable it has become. Kids are seldom allowed to be kids. It’s all structured nonsense and constant trash like 20 games of little kid sports, which they don’t want to play. They want to sit inside and play electronics just like adults.
Parents also spend hundreds of dollars on things like music lessons, and the kid gets bored because Minecraft genuinely is more fun for a kid. Then they get angry and hateful at the kid.
Well what good are you if you aren’t making future soldiers? Get out there and sow your wild oats. Or spread your legs. Whatever you have to do, do it for America.
Harris out here telling us we shouldn’t throw up our arms when we should be rolling up our sleeves. Vance just wants to roll up our slipcovers.
I haven’t really seen that honestly, it’s pretty much a non-event. I have a kid, some of my circle don’t plan on it. No one really cares.
I’ve seen childfree people on the internet complaining about people with kids plenty enough, but I always assumed they were a vocal minority.
The only time I’ve ever seen this topic as an actual point of contention in real life is people who insist on no kids at weddings. Which I do think is kind of a dick move, but also people’s preogerative.
I’ve seen kids at weddings. Hell, I’ve been a kid at weddings. It was generally a bad experience for everyone.
Bored. Hungry. Thirsty. Where’s the toilet? I wanna play over there. Not allowed to touch this and that. Don’t run around. Don’t yell. Stop doing rude things. Don’t cry. Barf. Sleepy. Who gave them alcohol? I wanna go home! Stop crying. Etc and so on.
Kids and weddings rarely mix well, often making it a burdensome experience for everyone, mostly for the kids.
This is also why I hate weddings as an adult. They’re boring. Maybe I’d feel differently if it was my own wedding or if I was really emotionally invested in the couple or something.
Weddings are different if you’re a close friend of the betrothed. Then it’s a party with all your friends and a bunch of people you tangentially know.
Being a distant friend or cousin at those events sucks.
Or maybe the wedding they want to make wouldn’t be appropriate for kids?
A lot of times this is it. Adults want to get shitfaced, play songs with cuss words, and have fun.
You can’t do that with your kids in tow and with other people’s kids around.
Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
Okay I’m super out of the loop, where did the couchfucker thing come from?
There was a Twitter post claiming he wrote in his book that he fucked couch cushions as a younger lad. It is (as far as we know) not true, however it caught like wildfire and is now a certified dank meme
That is pretty funny, actually. It’s such an old-timey insult. He is basically calling them spinsters. I can’t imagine this will catch on.
The wealthy want more people in the world so that they can pay employees less. More people, more competition for jobs. Also, more consumption, more sales.
Infinite growth requires an increase in one of two things - workers in the pool, or wages.
Corporate sees one option.
Hell yeah JD!!! That’s my boy! Keep giving us this motivational locker room talk, you’re the gift that keeps on giving! Keep cooking (yourself) King. You’re kinda mainlining the LGBTQ stuff to the point that it’s stale, maybe alienate some minorities next go round, that’d be SICK
With all his focus of who does and doesn’t have kids, I feel like there’s a good “precious bodily fluids” joke to be made here.
🎶 every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighborhood. 🎶
I hear he left a lot of precious bodily fluids in his couch.
Unlike him and his wife, Couchela.
You know what else is childless? All the couches he’s been humping. What a hypocrite. Sheesh.
I dunno, I’ve seen some chairs and loveseats that look too much like their couches to be a coincidence. We might need to get Maury involved here.
