Brasil
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
restingboredface@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 10 months ago

Democrats Panic After Kamala Harris Ages 40 Years In Single Night

www.theonion.com

external-link
message-square
22
link
fedilink
624
external-link

Democrats Panic After Kamala Harris Ages 40 Years In Single Night

www.theonion.com

restingboredface@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 10 months ago
message-square
22
link
fedilink
WASHINGTON—Arriving for a campaign strategy session with the vice president and staring in disbelief at her frail, hunched-over form, top Democratic Party officials reportedly began panicking Monday after they discovered Kamala Harris had aged 40 years in a single night. “What the hell happened to her? She was only 59…
  • dephyre@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    101
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    10 months ago

    At press time, sources confirmed prominent members of the party had been instructed to quickly shift their support to a spry, cogent 31-year-old Joe Biden, who had somehow de-aged 50 years overnight.

    Look here, Jack!

    • EleventhHour@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      59
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      10 months ago

      Holy shit, he was hot!

      • kandoh@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        16
        ·
        10 months ago

        But was he hung like hunter?

        • Dr. Bluefall@toast.ooo
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          14
          ·
          10 months ago

          It runs in the family.

      • Lileath@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        10 months ago

        And against desegregation of schools.

        • laughterlaughter@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          10 months ago

          Can you back this up?

          This is what I found, but I don’t trust CNN much these days (I don’t trust Fox News either, for the record):

          https://edition.cnn.com/factsfirst/politics/factcheck_543af44b-2bfc-4050-964e-79ebdbd57142

      • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        10 months ago

        was

The Onion@midwest.social

theonion@midwest.social

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !theonion@midwest.social

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

  • The Onion
  • Clickhole
  • McSweeney’s
  • Reductress
  • The Chaser
  • The Hard Times
    • The Hard Drive
  • The Needling
  • Tattletale Times
  • The Beaverton
Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 246 users / day
  • 2.29K users / week
  • 4.86K users / month
  • 13K users / 6 months
  • 9 local subscribers
  • 6.02K subscribers
  • 1.42K Posts
  • 18K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.social
  • pbrisgreat@midwest.social
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org