WHERE TO GET THE BOOK: http://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=F6B31A8DAFD6BD39A5986833E66293E6
PRIOR THREADS:
- Introduction
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Catch-up/Revival
- Chapter Four attempt one and Do-Over
In this chapter, Dr. Price discusses various ways of reframing and rethinking autism. Once the decision has been made to unmask, there comes the issue of what exactly that looks like. To even begin the work of rebuilding an identity that celebrates autism rather than hiding it as a source of shame, you must first reframe the way you perceive autism.
Step one is of course recognizing you’re autistic and then discovering what that means. Step two is re-examining painful labels that are enforced by a society 
that devalues neurodivergent behaviors, stims, and ways of thinking. Recognizing that you are not cringe, you just been touched by the 'tism. Dr. Price provides a number of charts and exercises that help the reader reframe autistic tendencies as things that have value in and of themselves and that are a core part of an autistic person’s identity. Reducing self-stigma is a key part of the process of reclaiming your identity. Regarding your “deficient” social graces as having some advantages – being principled, being passionate, etc. – can rebuild some of that eroded self-esteem that came from years of rejection and correction by people who insisted you conform to an arbitrary set of behaviors determined by random chance and trend over centuries of cultural construction.
He goes over ways to think about how your autistic traits have actually improved your life and helped define who you are. If I hadn’t been an obsessive reader since the time I was a toddler I probably wouldn’t be so good at writing. If I hadn’t been obsessed with video games my entire life I’d probably not be so good at constructing fictional worlds and characters and dialogue. If I wasn’t so focused on making people laugh as a defense mechanism and way to endear myself to them out of a desperation for someone, anyone, to accept and like me, I probably wouldn’t be so goddamn funny 
Celebrating special interests comes up. I love bugs, for instance, and got a lot of enthusiasm in the responses for my late-night bugposting when I was deep in the pits of depression. My new girlfriend shares my passion for cheesy romances between humans and nonhumans. Dr. Price tells the story of Clara, who was obsessed with Pete Burns. When she went to college she shelved that interest to be “normal” and it depressed her so much that she had to move back home. Once she was surrounded by her Pete Burns shit and Pete Burnsing it up with her online friends again the depression disappeared like a bad dream. The lesson is: embrace your special interests and draw life from them. Also, you can have more than one. In fact it’s pretty common for ASD folks to go super hard on a few things to varying degrees over our lives. Just roll with it. Enjoy yourself. You’re not a weirdo if you collect baseball cards, but somehow if the pieces of cardboard have pictures of Yu-Gi-Oh! on them you’re a cringe failure (which you know is impossible since you have the Heart of the Cards). Fuck the haters.
Plunging these special interests can help you develop the key values identified in earlier chapters (remember that shit? I didn’t lmao) to help you find key moments that illustrate these things in action. Dr. Price gives the example of confronting a drunken asshole trying to force himself on a young woman and getting between the two of them until the girl could get away. A frightening moment but one that showed his commitment to justice and protecting people who need help.
The chapter closes out with Dr. Price talking about the concept of having gratitude for your past self for doing what you needed to do in order to survive and protect yourself from a harsh world that usually misunderstood you. Those years weren’t wasted. You did the best you could. You’re uniquely you and through it all have remained as such and just need to re-awaken the parts you’ve hidden out of shame.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
- Any passages that stuck out to you? Things you need explained? Things you want to expand upon?
- Any certified he literally me fr moments?
- If you’d care to share any of your values or moments or special interests or whatnot below and how they’ve given your life value, please do. Tell us about your pokeymans
As usual, tag post to follow in comment. 
Because I should contribute instead of just complaining: Autism has at least allowed me to process things in a thorough manner and break down a lot of stuff I was taught and just accepted bc i was an isolated teen and wanted to fit in. I would never have gotten to where I am if it wasnt for the ability to question stuff that doesnt work out as proclaimed and following the gut instinct to not give a fuck about my sorroundings opinion on that.
Sidenote: a lot of the oppressed are “cringe” - capitalism-conditioned subjects don’t want to touch suffering because they are either taught to blame the oppressed for their suffering or are taught/brought up with the assumption that things like fatness, being ND, trans, blackness or homelessness e.g. are contagious and thus treat fellow humans as if they were disease-carriers. We have to unlearn coolness, machismo, chauvinism to unimagineable extents.
Much like the hypervigilance that’s common to trauma survivors with PTSD, masking is a reflex that comes out most intensely when we experience uncertainty or social threat. And recognizing oneself as a disabled person certainly doesn’t make the world seem any less confusing or threatening. However, accepting ourselves as Autistic does free many of us (perhaps for the first time) to question whether it’s fair that we be expected to live in such a concealed, apologetic way.
It means reexamining the stereotypes about Autistics (and other disabled people) we’ve been exposed to via media, education, and formative experiences in our youth. It requires we question society’s most deeply cherished values, and notice where there are gaps between what we’ve been told we should be, and how we’d actually like to live.
This part feels like a weekly struggle, because I realized I am too scared to tell people that I’m Autistic after experiencing negative reactions and responses to my already-labeled “weird” behavior. I feel like 3 people most of the time, and I’m not sure how to bring those 3 me’s into something cohesive that I can be proud of.
I think some weird things I’d like to put out there that I can’t really share with others IRL is that I love making horrible song parodies and I’ve written several books and short stories that I’ve never shared with anyone.
My favorite Pokémon games were Diamond and Sapphire. Camerupt and Drifblim were my favorites. Cosplaying at a con was the most fun I’ve had interacting with others. I sometimes miss not knowing I’m autistic…but I’m working on it.
I think the book even covers cosplay as a way of way to unmask(it’s been a while since I read it at this point). I don’t do it but my wife does and I’ve never seen her glow so hard as when she was making her own costume for a con that was coming up. She also won the contest for best adult cosplay lol.
Yeah the book mentions conventions being a gathering place of special interests, so neurodivergent folks kind of flock there in droves. I love making and wearing costumes but haven’t touched any of them since before covid.
That’s awesome that she won an award! The cosplay community is incredibly cool.
Celebrating special interests comes up.
If you could all do me a favor and infodump about your special interests for me, that would be great.
No, I’m serious. I like reading about what others are hyperfocused on lol.
I think my current is still philosophy(existentialism, pessimism, nihilism, absurdism probably in that order). I am trying to find links between modern philosophy(existentialism and I suppose phenomenology) and socialist theory. But I think it’s mostly me trying to find connections between 2 tangentially related interests. I did read the RedSails essay “Really Existing Fascism” that someone suggested and although not super connected, I really liked it. It does a great job of connecting a lot of pieces that we are all probably aware of. It’s also tangential insofar as it mentions Nietzsche in the beginning and then again in the end. A good takeaway is that his idea of “the superman” is very obviously fascist-rooted. But I am also still working through Cioran’s stuff and the more I read, the more I realize I might not actually be a pessimist.
Maybe a mini interest right now is Balastro. I picked it up from the Steam summer sale because I used to play poker. It’s fun seeing new mechanics come out of absolutely breaking a tried and true game system. But also interesting how the dev managed to turn a card game into a roguelite and it not be a Spire clone. The game just feels fresh. I’m not good at it at all but I have guide on how to manage Jokers up and am working through it to learn it better. Last night I actually tried working with the Red card and got to like x37 mod and it was pretty tight. My cards weren’t really landing though and I wasn’t able to burn down ante 6(of course).
But I don’t really have much to add about the book. Tell me you damn current obsessions/special interests/etc!
There’s a smaller, more contained Balatro-esque game that you might appreciate called Luck Be A Landlord.
It feels similar to Balatro in the vibes of the game mechanics but it’s based on a slot machine rather than poker. The rounds are short and once you get your head around the synergies between each symbol you’ll find that you’re constantly faced with choices between short-term tactics (how do I have enough to make it through the next round or two) vs strategy (how am I going to make it through the end game) as well as weighing the chances of getting what you’re hoping for.
It’s made by a single person who is an indie developer and it’s quite cute in how it’s anti-capitalist. It’s available on mobile platforms and it’s the sort of game that’s perfect for killing a few minutes on the bus or in a waiting room. Buying it on PC gets you access to mods though, so it’s a bit of a tradeoff.
I admit I’m not big into slot machine mechanics but…
The idea of using gambling to “win” at capitalism has me intrigued in a morbid curiosity sort of way lol.
What caught my eye right away is that it seems very “coffee break” style like Balatro or even Dicey Dungeons. I’ve been leaning more into those types instead of dungeon-crawl/platformer Rogulites lately. I am probably gonna pick something else up before the sale is over and it might be a tossup between this and Mass Effect trilogy(I’m attempting to avoid EA’s shit ass launcher and trying to get it working on Linux).
Thanks for the rec.
No worries! I forgot to mention that the dev is neurodivergent himself.
I think it’s fair to say that it looks like a slot machine from the outside and it borrows from the logic of a slot machine game but you don’t get to bet on lines or particular amounts of money, rather it’s a roguelite deckbuilder where you’re trying to get the best combinations of symbols and the right synergy between modifiers (think jokers from Balatro) and the symbols (like the deck in Balatro) but the luck mechanic is structured by a slot machine random spin up rather than playing a hand that you are dealt.
Mass Effect is a better choice for narrative and longer playthroughs sitting at a desk, LBAL is better for quick little playthroughs with a lot of replayability (in typical roguelite fashion) and it’s much better for playing on the go. Either are good choices but they couldn’t be more different so go with what suits you best - if you’ve got Balatro and you’re happy with it then it might be scratching that itch already so Mass Effect might be the better option.
Tbf, I’d only be getting ME because it’s one of my favorite franchises. I’ve played it before but have been itching for a new playthrough for a while.
You are really selling me on LBAL though. I noticed that it’s more of a match 2-3 than slots. The slot mechanic, like you said is just the rng. A Steam review said it’s a crappier Balatro which I though was funny since G*mers are hilariously bad at actually reviewing a game.
Might grab both lol. I can treat myself, right?
Might grab both lol. I can treat myself, right?
I don’t want to be responsible for the spending choices of other people lol.
It looks like it comes up on sale every few months. This is the historical low, but only by about 50 cents US. You aren’t gonna miss out on much if you put it off for a while but it’s only a couple of bucks so on the other hand it’s not a huge investment.
I went ahead and grabbed it. I can def see how it might work as a mobile bus ride game. Gonna check it out more later but so far I like what I’ve played.
I fucking love video games. I love examining how their worlds and stories are put together, and my favorite ones are ones with layers upon layers like Prey or Dishonored or Morrowind. Worlds to explore and get lost in and escape into, and seeing how the simple method of layering historical periods atop one another makes a world feel so much more alive, how little touches like a personalized workspace or guards having a conversation can make things more memorable and flavorful, how to breathe life into a fully artificial thing. I’ve thoroughly explored Talos Station in Prey and know it like the back of my hand, and still find new secrets every time I play. The thing that draws me to a game the most is the feel, the flavor, the aesthetic. It’s carried me through a lot of otherwise mediocre games I probably wouldn’t have touched otherwise. I wish I had more people to discuss them with in depth, honestly, but
types are often not cool on the politics front, or else people say things like "I like Fallout 
" but have nothing more to say on itMan I was considering getting Prey while it was on sale because I am so infatuated with the Metroidvania style world building where everything interconnects, especially in a 3D space because it’s a hot topic of debate in the community. I ended up getting Mass Effect trilogy because it was too hard to pass up a favorite series for $6 rofl. Now I can’t even get ME to run…
How hard is Prey, really? I get mixed opinions from gamers and “G*merz”. I don’t mind like a bit of challenge and know it comes with the territory of games like that but also don’t want a walking sim(though I like walking sims too lol). I ask because I am super interested in how they built the world for that game. Another example of an MV in 3D is Supraland. Idk if you played it but I really like that moment where you come out the other side and are like “huh, I’m back here… cool.” lol.
But yeah I love games. I have a rom collection of something like 5000 titles but also a huge Steam library. I’d guess around 500 games. World design, gameplay loop, and even that nonsense fanfair that Vampire Survivors did at the end of a round all fascinate me. If I wasn’t so shit at programming, I’d probably wanna get into game dev.
It’s definitely worth it to get both the base game and the Mooncrash DLC on sale, though pirating is preferable since Bethesda killed Arkane’s Texas office after forcing them to make a shitty multiplayer looter shooter.
I strongly recommend installing the Interface Customizer mod and the Core Balance mod to make some tweaks to the experience, getting rid of the irritating obtrusive quest notifications, turning off the floating enemy awareness markers, and making some slight adjustments to game balance to get rid off some rough spots.
I ended up refunding Mass Effect because I couldn’t get it running on Linux because their stupid launcher breaks most of their games on Linux. I used that money to get the just the base game of Prey. I may look into mods but again, on Linux and it can be a bit of a chore to get some stuff working like that.
I am trying to find links between modern philosophy(existentialism and I suppose phenomenology) and socialist theory
Have you read Sartre’s Search for a Method? He’s trying to square the circle between existentialism and Marxism there. I haven’t read it yet but I’d totally bookclub that with you if you’d like.
I’m working on trying to procure a copy but donno if/when I would be able to do a reading club thing for it. If you end up putting one together end of this year my backlog might be lighter. Right now I am still working through a chunk of nihilism/abdurdism before going back to some anarchist theory. My wife and I are planning on doing a reading of a Christian Anarchy book but we don’t have one picked yet. After that I wanna transition back to socialist theory so that might be a good segway. I’m rambling, sorry.
I’d be interested but donno what tomorrow will bring lol.
ADHDer chiming in. So one of my hyperfixations. Linux. I’ve been reading. Watching. Consuming. Just in general trying to absorb a bunch of info about the different base distros and their undying benefits and drawbacks.
Also I was hyped for Shin Megami Tensei V Vengeance but. Uh. Like usual. After preordering it I’m distracted by a different game. V Rising currently.
I’ve been using Linux for 12ish. My first distro was Ubuntu 9.10 before Unity DE was introduced. I first spun up a vm of that release probably in 2011 though if I had to guess. It was an old disc from a professor. I duel booted for a good 6 years after that but after a hardware upgrade, I borked my Windows 7 partition and said fuck it and went full time Linux as my daily driver. I was way down the rabbit hole and was actually quite evangelical about it for a good long while but that passion fizzled out a bit and I just focused on just using it.
I distro hopped from Ubuntu to Mint and ElementaryOS, then to Arch and it’s derivatives, then back to Ubuntu and eventually back to Mint. I did use Fedora and Sues for a bit but it was mostly just to check out. I used to have like 10 distros on vms for tinkering with.
Oh and holy shit gaming? It’s come such a long way even up to before Proton was released. After though, I remember that day when 90% of my Steam library went to not working to “just working”.
and their undying benefits and drawbacks.
So do you cringe whenever a new user comes in and is like “How do I use Kali?” too?
Haha. I told a friend at work I was getting into Linux and he sent me a link to KaliOS. Followed by Don’t worry. I use Kubuntu 😆
I forget the other pen testing distro but I have a friend that is actually in cyber security and he uses that over Kali. He’s like the only other Linux nerd I know IRL and we only really found out we both use Linux like a few months ago.
L m a o. This dude is a legit pen tester also. That’s hilarious.
Well mine is definitely other people and the society. Especially human rights, social justice and fairness. This has had phases, but it is currently aligned with my profession and personal politics.
I am forever intrigued by people and the way they behave. I deeply believe in a better world and will never stop despite having seen quite a bit of hardship myself. I had to figure this stuff out very young when my parents had alcohol abuse issues, I was bullied a lot in school and I wanted to understand why someone would treat themselves or others in such a way.
Growing up I wanted to be a doctor, a human rights lawyer, a crisis worker and help other people. It has probably been my most consistent defining characteristic and guiding star. Even when I studied genetics or did teaching the motivation underneath was the same, helping others or making things easier for people.
But I have done so much other stuff too. Music, arts, writing, the fermentation rabbit hole, exercise and martial arts, powerlifting etc. Several of these turned into jobs because the interest was so intense. Also did a few years of pretty intense raid leading in World of Warcraft where my whole angle was making sure everyone can participate and try their best, it was all about the human connection even then.
I think a lot of what I am currently into as far as reading goes is hinting towards sociology. It’s at least come up a few times. I’m definitely curious about how people interact with each other and also what causes individualist and communistic ideas in people.
Also I was super into fermenting for a while. I apparently make some of the best kimchi in town lol. I started with kombucha but could never get it to fizz unless it was like with pineapple.
Nice. And same here, I started from a very natural science pov in my studies when younger, but even then it was most about what makes humans tick. Cancer genetics was by far my favourite subject and I hoped to be able to slide over to medicine from that.
So happy I came across all the sosiology material later in life and went down that path. Really understanding social constructions, hegemony and much more has been critical in my personal unmasking as well and in understanding why I never could understand why people would not rise up or will go along with things that are clearly just wrong. Because this has been the question for me from a very young age “why do people often just take it”.
I did the sourdough thing, all the way to a microbakery. Obviously there was no way to live just from that, but it was fun.
My current hyperfixation is the development of a Yu-Gi-Oh cube to play with friends. It’s essentially a large collection of cards that can be used standalone that you draft from in order to produce your deck for that session. It’s really interesting because I have to find keep the power level low but also add interesting synergies for the players to exploit.
My enduring special interests are anime (in general), yu-gi-oh (even though I am bad at it), early 2000s otaku culture and japanese doujin music, and Falcom (games, music team and the company’s fucked up history).
I’ve never played Yu-Gi-Oh but I have tried Magic: the Gathering and Pokemon. I am a big fan of crazy synergies in games so that sounds really interesting.
For anime, I really like the art styles but only found a few series that I could really get into. Every so often I look for a new one to watch and do give it a try though. I think I like ironic/meta type stuff because my favs are Gurren Lagann and One Punch Man.
I believe you would like Space Dandy then
I’ve watched it and did enjoy it lol. A bit dated on the humor but still fun. I also liked Samurai Champloo and Cowboy Bebop by the same creator. Though I still haven’t finished Cowboy Bebop.
Step two is re-examining painful labels that are enforced by a society that devalues neurodivergent behaviors, stims, and ways of thinking.
Good luck weaning hexbear off the “maladapted” label
I’ve been reading along and haven’t been discussing because I feel pretty shocked with how relatable the whole book has been. I also attribute my reluctance with some amount of imposter syndrome. It’s very strange realizing all these things so late in life.
This chapter I did want to comment about special interests and how denying children their special interests can be harmful. I have kids and one of them has one. Maybe it’s just a temporary interest but we go along with it and pull up videos about it or play pretend with it. His grandmother however says it’s “weird” and pretends she doesn’t have the item in the house (she does) and doesn’t let him play with it. This made me angry at first but reading this chapter convinced me to be furious.
For myself I feel foolish. At work I would do so many things differently than everyone else - and I thought it was because I worked “smarter”. I used to literally pride myself in my ability to mirror other people in conversation and get along with anyone. Which is horrifying to me because I realize I almost never present my real self to so many people.
I also assumed this was true of everyone. That everyone has these challenges and has to navigate conversations playing the same routines I was taught that don’t really make sense. When I am told neurotypicals want these kinds of interactions I am still doubtful, but maybe I should be more kind to myself and recognize that some interactions are particularly challenging for me compared to other people.
I’m really glad I started reading this. I’ll take better notes for chapter 6
