I’ve only dated two people (I think I’m about to fuck this current situation up) but it seems like I don’t know how to handle it when the novelty of a new relationship somewhat calms down on my end and I’m dealing with someone who is ostensibly over attached and saying all of these wild things and love bombing me.

Things seemed to be going so well for us, but they suddenly became super physical when their lack of physicality was the exact reason I chose to date them in the first place, and that sort of took me aback :/

I’m posting in the nd forum because I suspect this is an example of not being able to deal with change (we’re on the same wavelength for a bit then I return to reality while they stay up in the clouds). It also takes up a loooooooot of energy. Shit suuuuuuuuuuuucks because I truly thought I had found the one :/

  • itappearsthat [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    5 days ago

    Desiring novelty is very common, both romantically and sexually. It will only bring you unhappiness if a long-term monogamous relationship is what you want. Unfortunately it kind of is as simple as that. This is a struggle everybody goes through and that you will need to overcome on a personal level.

    Alternatively a lot of relationships die after the honeymoon period because the hormonal crush rush fades and stops papering over the large incompatibilities or flaws in the relationship, so this might just be very normal and not actually a problem.

    • the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      5 days ago

      I guess maybe it’s rare, but it is possible to have a long-term relationship that retains the novelty and excitement. I know it’s cringe af to say it, but after 20 years together, idk how I could ever get bored of my husband. He’s getting funnier and more interesting every year.

      He was supposed to just be a rebound fling, but we were having too much fun outside the bedroom and we couldn’t stop hanging out! 🤦😂