cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/14816537
Iām 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes Iām in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).
I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why donāt you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.
The way these women asked was accusatory, like Iām a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: Iām 25, leave me alone.
Since that bad experience Iāve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe Iām 25 because as said I look like it, donāt pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they donāt push my buttons because I donāt give them any ammunition. Itās tolerable.
Note that I didnāt lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them Iām 25 and they didnāt question it.
Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I donāt lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I donāt know if Iād get better assignments if Iām sincere about my age (Iād like that, but is it realistic?). I just donāt want to get to 65 with a broken back. I donāt want drama either, just to work and go home.
I lie to protect myself.
If I need to change this, why and how?
I didnāt realize that I should be over bad things that have happened to me simply because Iāve reached x age.
Phenomenal, itās just that easy! Just donāt have trauma, why didnāt I think of that?
First, youāre not OP, so I can only imagine that youāre taking something personally that has nothing to do with you.
Second, nothing in this post mentioned trauma. Being harassed by invasive questions isnāt trauma, itās just humans trying to be social.
Third, if instead of working on your trauma youāre trolling internet discussions and inserting yourself whenever you think you can successfully play the victim, you do not have my sympathy.
This is OPās response. Youāre not the first person on Lemmy that seems to think itās impossible to read other peopleās comments.