• autismdragon [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Is it OK if I post the same thing here that I posted in the hexbear megathread? I’m just wanna do it right now. These feelings are hitting me hard. DOnt worry though, I’m about to go to bed.

    The problem I’m having with the back and forth with libs is my inherent empathy. I feel for them and want to reach out with them. I can’t (Usually) just aggressively dunk and move on.

    The worst yet for me was the thing earlier with the guy who can’t engage with political memes at all because he thinks they all MIGHT be Russian social media infiltration. I started getting sincerely and genuinely invested in being concerned for their mental health. I actually had like, a continuous low level panic attack going. My body was tense and nervous.

    I know the response here is going to be to tell me to just log off and stop getting invested in this, but I really just wanted to vent about how all this is making me feel. I want to help these people out of the bubbles they are in. When they use thought terminating cliches to avoid thinking, it upsets me because god I WANT THEM TO THINK. For their sake.

    • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      I think it’s good to always act in good faith towards them. But if you explain something three times and they’re not at least considering another opinion, that’s on them.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      It can hurt to care, but the fact that you care means that you are the kind of comrade that leftism needs.

      The challenge will be to care in ways that don’t burn you out with frustration. Compassion fatigue is a real thing and nurses suffer from it quite often, for example.

    • redtea@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      It’s hard isn’t it? I have similar instincts, although I can turn it off when I’m being trolled. Some people don’t want to be reached. They aren’t talking in good faith. They aren’t interested in what you have to say. They know what they are and are happy about it.

      You might get hurt if you try to fix everyone. It’s okay not to fix them. It’s okay not to dunk on them, either. It’s okay to say your piece and leave them to think about it. They’ll either grow and develop. Or they won’t. Liberalism provides an answer to every rebuttal. It might be a shit answer, but it has one. Sometimes planting the seed of doubt is enough.

      There’s a YouTube series that you might find helpful for reframing the way that you see the people you interact with and how you engage with them: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJA_jUddXvY7v0VkYRbANnTnzkA_HMFtQ . This video in particular may be useful to know what you’re up against: https://youtu.be/CaPgDQkmqqM . I hope this helps and I hope you don’t get too exhausted.

        • redtea@lemmygrad.ml
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          1 year ago

          You’re welcome.

          One thing that I have to do so as not to get drawn in is not so much touching grass but sorting by local by default and sorting by subscribed manually (and not subscribing to the news comms that attract liberals). That’s still the same kind of non-solution of ‘just don’t participate’. But at least it gives you some control over not sorting by all, so you can browse but limit how much you’re exposed to people who might exhaust you.

          Another thing is sorting by new by default and popping in to new threads but not engaging. Then sort by hot/active/top XYZ to see which threads got a lot of comments. If you engage in the most active threads after comrades have made the trolls ‘show their cards’, it might be easier to identify who is best to avoid. Someone who deliberately misinterprets others isn’t going to be worth your time.

          That doesn’t necessarily make it easier for you not to try to convert them: would you be able to not engage in the first place if you already knew the person was insincere?

          • autismdragon [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            Probably not. I went back and forth today with someone who was pretty obviously bad faith, but at least my empathy wasnt going off in that case because I didnt feel bad for them or anything.

            • redtea@lemmygrad.ml
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              1 year ago

              In that case, at least know that while you’re talking to one person in particular, you might still be reaching a wider audience that is paying attention, even if they don’t engage.