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A bit of advance for those who want very loud shits: get your ass crack waxed. I’m not even joking here, you will gain godlike powers in public restrooms. Consider for a moment how loud you can clap your hands. Now consider how much quieter your clap would be if your hands were covered in hair. I was dating an aesthetician once who waxed my ass after a boyzillian. My shits reverberated the corporate bathroom until the hair grew back in.
Couple the shaved ass with a diet consisting exclusively of beans, cabbage, broccoli, and soft cheeses and baby you got a category 5 ass-tastrophy brewing
Mama Mia!
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The real mistake is only doing it once. It won’t itch or bother you after the first couple of times.
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IME you just need to spread the cheeks a little bit to avoid the loud ones
Finally, another Shitnobi
Exactly what are you eager for, Mr. Eagle?
butt cheeks on a stick would be nice
PuPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP sploosh
Onomatopoopia
Next time I’m in a public bathroom and someone’s super loud, I’m totally saying outloud ‘someome shaves their anus’ before leaving.
chef’s kiss
I hate everything about this.
I don’t know, “Frighteningly sudden” has a certain magic to it.
I want it to startle me awake like a dozing dog
I love everything about this.
For every one you don’t buy I will buy 10.
I thought this was a legit ad at first. I do get a couple ads using sync for Lemmy
You may want to switch your client then. I can recommend voyager, it is based on Apollo for reddit. Have yet to see an actual ad (discounting actual posts by OF sellers and the occasional LLM wall of text with a link)
I don’t mind the ads it’s one every 20-30 posts and they are easy to just scroll on by .
Demolition edition? I’ma need SIX seashells for this.
Outer Worlds 2 writing team here. You’re hired!
