I am asking this question based on a Reddit post that I saw. Why do black people (and non united-statesians) have less presence in the community? It feels super rare to see a person of colour getting mentioned, as I mostly see people of no colour. Is this some lack of vision that I have? Or is it really this way?
Trans people use the term “stealth” to mean passing as a cis person, e.g. a trans woman just appearing and passing as a cis woman - so they don’t disclose or emphasize their transness, and people don’t know they are trans.
Some people choose to go stealth for lots of reasons, but safety is one of the biggest ones.
yeah I’d need a new job if I came out tbh these people are ruthless
Yes, it’s very common for trans women to lose their jobs when they transition, and unemployment is one of the biggest challenges that trans women face (it’s a reason so many turn to sex work for survival). That said, I don’t really see any way around the need to transition, it’s not really a choice.
The old Benjamin rules had a whole set of recommendations (requirements?) including moving to a new city or town, getting a new job, fabricating a fictional history in case anyone were to ask you about your childhood, etc.
The integration of trans people into cis-normative society was a major clinical goal in the recent past, not just because it’s safer for the trans person but because it also because it’s what made the cis clinicians comfortable.
It took me around 6 - 8 months to start to pass as a cis woman at all, and around 8 - 12 months to start to pass in all contexts (on the phone, in-person, during airport security pat-downs, etc.). I’m somewhat shocked that I pass, and it makes me think cis people are a bit clueless and more expansive in their unconscious concept of a woman than they realize.
honestly, I feel the same. When I started out I probably waited 5-6 months before I started dressing outside and didn’t feel like I was full time for like a year. Then even after that I definitely didn’t pass and I was broke while trying to find my style (pretty expensive) without help bc my mom wouldn’t help me/give me good advice. So then I eventually had to adopt a fairly neutral/androgynous look for years until I just started permanently male failing everywhere. 😮💨 Part of it was my hair since I had accidentally been getting it braided in a male way (lemme tell you I was completely clueless 💀) but the other part was I stopped starving myself and gained alot of weight. That sounds bad but I was at like 15-16 bmi for a while and the doctors were telling me that my total cholesterol was dangerously low somehow 🤷🏾♀️
And like when it was happening I was honestly confused if people were just playing along or not at least at first but then I always remember the disgust people had when I was starting out or just the random harassment. It’s almost affirming that they’re so stupid.
That being said the shit I hear/have heard from cissies has sworn me off from being open about my past outside of specific circumstances. You never forget that look when people start treating you differently than they used to because they realize you’re trans.