Just a few
- a childhood friend and neighbour got killed by his mother, his sister managed to flee the scene and call the cops
- my elementary school’s director got arrested for paedophilia, he killed himself in his cell before getting judged
- my sister in law died in her sleep less than a meter away from me (a wall was between us still) and my partner and I were the ones to find her, I’ve had to call and tell her parents
I am unsettled indeed
When I was in the emergency services, I was first or among the first on scene to serious mass casualty events on multiple occasions. The most any of them got in the news was local papers and traffic disruption reports, because unless it’s terrorism the nationals aren’t interested. If any of us died in a car crash tomorrow, the world wouldn’t care.
I’m so sorry that some people in this thread have much worse nightmares than I have. I don’t recall having any nightmares that you might call visually grotesque.
When I was in High School, I apparently discovered that looking at a person signals interest in the person, and that it’s possible to look at something in this way on accident, or at least without conscious planning. From this I concluded into a mild obsession to basically be conscious of what I am looking at at almost every point in time. In hindsight, it feels kind of like the “you are now breathing manually” meme. This basically only happened with two people, along with it slightly reinforcing my bias against looking at girls, because I’m probably gay anyway, let them not get any ideas.* (this thought is completely stupid in any other way than being moderately considerate. it probably didn’t do anything anyway, because I’m not very socially active and had approximately 1-2 friends.)
- The girl who sat on the mirror-opposite side of the room from me in math class, which, If I didn’t change seats on purpose, which I did when possible, basically put her in the center of my default field of view when not looking at the teacher. (Seating and desk arrangements in my country are very exciting.) She was really good at staring back, which is basically why I noticed that people care when they’re being looked at. I don’t really know whether she did this on purpose. I had nothing in common with her that would count as knowing her personally, but we did look pretty similar, so much that some people just told me this without being asked. She’s the only person wearing a tie on one of the photos from graduation. I didn’t feel a legitimate reason to care much, but basically, I cared because of how much I was constantly thinking about not looking at her. To my friend, I expressed myself as being kind of scared of her, though I never really said that I was scared that anyone capable of critisizing me would find out how much space this bullshit took up in my mind sometimes, or misrepresent this as being attracted or something. I also remember believing at some point that she was behind me on my way to school, (in some parts of europe, people bike to school,) as well as just actually seeing her on some paths beyond doubt, and thinking a moderate amount about what path she takes the least, which might just have been all of them, because of how rarely I saw her on the way.
- The other guy isn’t really at fault or anything. He’s still really nice to be with now that I’ve gotten over this somewhat, though I see him rarely, which probably contributed to the brainworms spreading.
*(I cultivate an off-internet bonus genre of brainworms where being asexual reinforces my faux-antiquated fear of being perceived as attracted to someone, which may or may not make sense)
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?!
He wasn’t a mortician either.
I knew someone whose death was ruled a suicide. I also know their roommate wasn’t where they said they were the night it allegedly happened.
And that’s all I know.
Actually I had something like that happen when I worked in the ER. It was thought the boyfriend killed her but nothing they could charge him with. I was in the room with him and he acted weird.
We also had a patient with Munchausen’s syndrome and apparently she killed her child but nobody could prove it.
My eye doctor murdered his boss’s wife and waited on the couch beside her corpse for him to get home. He got beaten the shit out of before he could kill his boss and the cops arrested him shortly after the beating.
Didn’t see that coming
My orthodontist had been high school band buddies with my parents, so when I needed braces 6 used him.
A few years later, his wife suspected him of cheating, so she hired a PI firm to follow him. They made the very stupid decision of telling her her was cheating on her in real time and where.
With her stepdaughter (his child) in the car, she drove to the hotel, confronted him, then ran over him 3 times. It was national news, and she got out of prison a few years ago.
Omigod. Is there a reason why?
I’ve had bosses. I’m not saying it’s OK, or anything, it’s not. Obviously double homicide is horrible. I’m just saying, I get where he’s coming from.
Welcome to the list…
I beat somebody into a coma with their own gun.
I feel like you did he right thing.
When I was a kid I found a bunch of puppies that had been skinned alive, I think I scared off whoever was doing it, one was half skinned and still alive and there was another one that had not been gotten to yet
This made me cry.
Yeah it was messed up for a little kid to find I had nightmares for a long time from it, we kept the live dog but he was never right in the head and ended up biting me and we had to put him down poor dog probably had PTSD
Did you adopt the half skinned one or the spared one? Did the former survive?
The half skinned one died shortly after I found him I kept the one that was not skinned
When I was a kid (like 14-15) I would go on gangstalking forums and try to convince schitzophrenic people I was following them.
That’s just based tbh.
I had a friend a few blocks away growing up and we’d walk over to each other’s house all the time. One day when I was 9 or 10 I was walking home and there were a dozen cop cars outside a house. Next door to them was another kid we knew but who was a grade above us so we weren’t close.
When I got home I told my parents about all the police at this house. They did some digging around and turns out the guy who lived there was a child molester. I didn’t really know what that meant at the time other than it was bad.
I still hope that the kid who lives next door wasn’t one of the victims.
I have stupidass heightened perception and seem to repeatedly find myself in extraordinary unbelievable (and often traumatic) situations which no one believes at first, because the situations are so absurd, and my silly brain rights itself so I seem “too okay” in spite of it all. Then I have to deal with it on my own until it directly impacts others and they cannot deny the situations exist. Then they act like shocked Pikachus (which is massively infuriating at times). This has been escalating throughout my life—in spite of the fact I do everything possible to keep my stupid little existence low-key and healthy. I’m working on accepting this.
Oh shit! You’re the main character!
You could just say they act shocked.
I have the suicide disease. The worse, TN2 version. That is not a sly term for mental illness, it’s a nerve disorder that has pain so great that people kill themselves rather than face yet another day of it. I am rarely below 3 on the 1-10 pain scale (at 4 right now) and I’ve reached 10 more times than I can count. This is with medication keeping it at the level where I can function.
I am such a bad judge of pain that the trauma from my not realizing for half a week that I had kidney stones and not taking any painkillers and then being stuck first in a clinic and then the ER for 14 hours writing in agony until they finally decided I did, in fact, have kidney stones and gave me some fentanyl, caused severe trauma and gave me an eating disorder called ARFID, unrelated to body image issues, and I have not eaten solid food in a year and a half.
Explains a lot, doesn’t it?
https://arizonapain.com/trigeminal-neuralgia-suicide-disease/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder
Hey, you asked.
P.S. If you try to give me medical advice over the internet, I may just block you. I am so fucking sick of that. And no, “I know you said you didn’t want medical advice, but…” does not count as a way around that. And I am fucking sick of having to say that and having people ignore it too.
Sorry to read that. But in some way I am almost relieved that you seem to finally know what caused your insanely severe case of ARFID. I remember when you were posting about your time at the Mayo clinic and the awful mismanagement there and was very sad and disappointed (not by you) that you were bombarded with enough armchair diagnostics to stop updating about your case.
When did you get diagnosed with TN2? And how long was the gap between the kidney stones and your last bite, if I may ask?
Thanks. I don’t really feel relieved by it, mainly because it’s kind of irrelevant to the future, but it is what makes the most sense and it’s better than having no idea.
When did you get diagnosed with TN2?
I think about 10 years ago. Maybe 11 now. It might be genetic because my dad had TN1. But he got it in his 70s. It usually manifests itself at that age. I was in my late 30s.
And how long was the gap between the kidney stones and your last bite, if I may ask?
That’s kind of complicated. A few weeks after it happened (January 2023) I started dry heaving every morning. That has been almost daily for me. Occasionally more than once. Then that March, I had this issue for about six weeks and then I was fine again until August. And other than at the Mayo Clinic when they totally numbed my mouth with a lidocaine-based compound, when I was able to manage a couple of bites of egg salad, that was the last time I had truly solid food. I’m also the smelling equivalent of a supertaster. I can smell cleaning fluid inside stores from when the custodians mopped the day before.
Working with a psychiatrist and doing RO DBT therapy, I am at a place where I can eat pretty much anything if I don’t have to chew or use any utensils and I have conditioned myself to just deal with the smells even if they are awful. I’m even able to cook for my kid now.
So I am in a much better place than I was even six months ago.
I know you said no advice, but have you tried jerking off a bunch?
Blocked so I can go look at porn uninterrupted.
Damn, so sorry you’re having to go through this. May the days be kind to you, friend.
Thank you.
That’s a raw deal. I always thought a 1-10 pain scale was a dumb Idea. Pain is pretty subjective and someone who hasn’t experienced severe pain doesn’t really have a way to understand what constitutes a 10. (I would answer differently before and after my cycling accident for example) Personally I think that setting the scale as 1-10 where breaking a leg is a 6 (or something) would be more diagnostically relevant. I trust your judgement, although what you call a 4 would probably be most people’s 8.
Damn. You know flying squid, I’ve always looked up to you around here. I see you in a lot of posts and comments around and didn’t realize you are in agony for most of the time.
Yeah, gotta love it.
That must be the toughest condition I read about in a long while. It’s amazing that you kept going. It’s also amazing that you decided to share this!
Thanks. I have definitely had my very, very low points, but you just try to keep going when you can until you have no reason to do it anymore…
I wondered how things were for you. I’m so sorry. I do know of a new treatment for trigeminal nerve stuff simply because I work in neuro I can tell you about if you want but I most certainly won’t give you advice. I just know someone who is using it and it’s new.
I appreciate it, but I have good people I am working with.
Ok all good. Hope you get some relief soon.
Thanks.
I’m here to try something different… Instead of recommending a medical thing, how about you go on https://loops.video/ and share it with the rest of the world?
Shit, that’s some crazy symptoms! Fight on!
I actually did make a video about it once which has helped others, so I’m glad of that. But I don’t want to doxx myself and link to it.
Damn, that blows. Thanks for sharing, I didn’t know that was a thing.
This is probanly way too boring and mundane for this thread, but I can’t feel hunger or fullness. (Never had a doctor look at it because it doesn’t make my life worse)
My mom when I was a baby asked the doctor how much baby food I should be given after breastfeeding time was over. The doctor said “just give him enough, he will stop”. After many jars of food, my mom had to stop because I wouldn’t stop.
To this day I can feel my stomach expanding before I will stop. At my university all-you-can-eat cafeteria (back when I was super fit and tracked every calorie) I ate about 10kcal and didn’t feel full so I stopped. I also did a 21 day water (and salt+vitamins) fast without that much trouble (but my mouth would still water and I would still have taste cravings)
Fucks up my relationship with food though because I eat when I am bored, just eat whatever is in front of me without realizing it, or if I am busy I will just forget to eat.
As I said, probably not really unsettling or scary, but not a fun fact lol.
I think I have this to some degree. I never feel hungry/hangry if I haven’t eaten by specific times. I just eat because I’m bored and it kinda heats me up. I can go days without, I just don’t because of habit and because sugar and caffeine have effects that help me concentrate
Neither can I anymore. No hunger, no thirst. I have an eating disorder that’s not related to body image called ARFID. Here’s my post about it in this thread: https://lemmy.world/comment/14558547
I would think like Prader Willi syndrome but usually those children are intellectually delayed.
Working in IT, I see far too many of your passwords, and you suck at passwords.
With that being said, if you use Windows and your hard drive isn’t encrypted, it is ridiculously easy for me to break into your account, access all of your files and take full control of your computer… Provided I can get physical access to it.
Stop using the same passwords for everything. Do you want to get “hacked” because that’s how you get “hacked”. Disclaimer, this isn’t hacking, it’s social engineering attacks with extra steps. The people trying to exploit you and steal your accounts put little to no effort into getting your stuff specifically. You just happened to get caught in their net… Good luck, you’re fucked.
Probably should have had a backup, and used a password manager huh?
Also it’s ridiculously easy to lock yourself out of your own accounts by enabling 2FA/MFA. Most people have zero idea what is even involved in 2FA/MFA and the vast majority do everything in their power to turn it off. They would rather expose their account to the risk of it being taken over by some scammer, than be bothered to enter a six-digit code sometimes.
The reality is, as an admin, I can, with a fair amount of ease, monitor everything you do, when you do it and for how long you do it. The only reasons I don’t is that 1. I’m pretty sure there are laws about it (but you’d have to prove I did it to have those laws enforced… GL, YF.) 2. Morally it’s “wrong” to do so. And last but not least, I wouldn’t give a single shit about what you do with your computer, whether it’s a work machine, or personal system. Just don’t make it my problem and we’ll get along splendidly.
Also, the number of you people who use company laptops and cellphones for your personal correspondence and/or your only computer/phone is kinda ridiculous. Understand this: any company assets, and all the data held within, are wholly, immediately, irrevocably and perpetually, property of the company. So any texts, including sexts, dick pics, nudes, lude messages, personal banking info, emails sent to you personally,… All the data that is sent to, and stored on, the device that work provided to you, is property of the company.
Given that, and what I’ve seen when these devices are ripped from your hands when you inevitably leave the position, whether voluntarily or not, you all should be more ashamed of yourselves.
Y’all need Jesus or something. IDK, I don’t believe in the guy, but you need something to straighten you out. Holy fuck.
With that being said, if you use Windows and your hard drive isn’t encrypted, it is ridiculously easy for me to break into your account, access all of your files and take full control of your computer… Provided I can get physical access to it.
That’s a big if there. If you can get physical access to my home computer, I think you “breaking into my accounts” is the least of my concerns.
Working in IT, I see far too many of your passwords, and you suck at passwords. […] Stop using the same passwords for everything.
While that is generally not so bad advice for some people, there’s also a legitimate use of shitty passwords - for about every stupid resource that forces an account on you for trivial shit. Also, throwaway accounts of anything.
2FA is scary - if someone grabs this phone, I can’t do any work, can’t log in to email to change passwords, can’t log in to the bank to report stolen cards, can’t even buy another phone online.
My coworkers make fun of me, but I bring in laptop with a LTE card to work to do any non work stuff. I don’t do anything non work related on company machines.
I do assume IT has too much to do that track what any of us do on our work PCs unless someone gives them a reason.
I was in a locker room three months ago minding my own business when this oddly looking guy next to me struck up a conversation. He looked old and incredibly skinny, but you could tell his face was younger. Maybe it’s a skin condition like Ehlers-Danlos, I thought.
Well, the guy was in his early thirties and said the reason for his condition was that he had been recently freed by a cartel. He had been kidnapped for years, kept without food or proper hygiene, basically working as a slave. And then he showed me a picture of himself from three years ago on his phone. He has the incredible phisique of a Greek god, beautiful face, with a six pack and well developed muscles. And there he was, skinny, thin as a pencil and with loose, aged skin.
He recounted how he had used his smarts to survive. He had been forced to kidnap others, forged friendships with his captors and even made important suggestions to the leaders to create alliances with other cartels. He was damn good at the job making people fall into the trap, schmoosing the right people and getting out of situations. He said he was honestly one of the best they had, according to him.
He went on about how he had been tortured, kept in a cellar, worked tirelessly from dawn til dusk, and then released one day. And then he told me he he still had friends in the cartel to this day.
That’s when I found a break 20 minutes in of this guy trauma dumping on me and I noped the fuck out of there with some bullshit excuse. Never in my life have I ever been so scared, sad, sorry and flabbergasted of someone recounting their life story.
I hate conversation hostages. They just dont let you exit, and don’t really care if you’re listening. I can understand their loneliness, but christ they need to develop the skills of: a) summarize your bullshit, and b) gauge my reaction to see if I’m interested.
Yeah, I don’t think he was too aware or didn’t want to be. The moment I saw his picture I did the whole “no fucking way this is you” face. I think he really needed to talk about it, which I understand, but it wasn’t the place or the time. He caught me completely offguard.