I dunno, I thought it would be higher. I guess I’m just a slut surrounded by sluts (positive).
What do you think about the number? Does it surprise you? Does it surprise you that it surprises me? Did you expect it to be lower maybe? If so why?

I just find this interesting. No judgement (unless you want that you dirty little gremlin)

  • Hexboare [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    6 hours ago

    The average person in Turkey has 14 sexual partners. Residents of Iceland, New Zealand, and Australia claim 13 or more sexual partners, on average.

    The sheep count, right?

  • combat_doomerism [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    15 hours ago

    as a proud member of the volcel vanguard i do my best every day to lower this average sankara-salute

    more serious


    read some discussions further down the thread, it does suck how much having sex matters in this culture. If it werent for that, being a virgin wouldnt bother me in the slightest, since I’m (i think) somewhere on the ace/aro “spectrum” (is that the right word for it?). I do think it’s a shame that “incel” has come to replace “misogynist” in common lingo, because it feels to me in someway also a repackage of “virgin” as insult as well. I will say, the vocel meme is probably one of my favorite things on hexbear, because it helps make feel like less of an outcast, lol

    • MLRL_Commie [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      8 hours ago

      Interesting post, would’ve never considered how the terms here relate until you said it. Incels deserve the shit, and it’s interesting to consider that we partially identify the cause of their misogyny with their virginity. It’s probably true, but catches the volcel comrades with some Flak on the side.

      Incel is still a good insult when it’s a misogynist who WANTS sex but can’t possibly have an intimate partner willingly have sex due to their misogyny. It pisses them off (sometimes) which is funny, and “misogynist” is often something they’re proud of. But next time I use it I’ll throw a "no shade to non-misogynyst and chill virgins*

  • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
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    17 hours ago

    Actually a statistical error, the average person has sex with 0 people. Suck’em Fuck’em Georg, who lives in a cave and fucks 10000 people a day is an outlier and should not have been counted

  • stigsbandit34z [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    16 hours ago

    Another reason why autism is hell

    I am very uncomfortable with sex and have only had two sexual partners, but it seems like, on average, people like me are the most often designated as incels or we’re using it as an excuse. It’s also an internal battle too because I know it shouldn’t be all about me, but god do I wish I could find someone who feels the same way about it

    Overall though, it’s very shameful. Thought I’d pick up on these nebulous social hierarchies the older I got, but they’re still beating my ass. That’s why the move is to remain as imperceptible as possible 😎

  • ComradeMonotreme [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    14 hours ago

    I’ve had somewhere between 4-6 sexual partners. So beneath that number. But also I’m pretty sure I’ve done more variety and volume of sex acts than some folks with higher numbers. So it’s kind of moot.

    super NSFW

    Like I’ve fucked, sucked, eaten pussy, ass, been pegged, sounded and figged. Been spanked/flogged/paddled/caned. One time I ejaculated into my mouth while upside down. I’ve had hands free orgasms. I’ve orgasmed in chastity. I’ve had multiple back to back prostate orgasms while in bondage and sensory deprivation.

  • DeathToBritain [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    15 hours ago

    perhaps I am just a slut, but I lost count a LONG time ago lmao doggirl-smug

    I think most people know though, that the most enjoyable sex is almost always with a loving long term partner who you are intune with the wants and needs of, as opposed to somebody who you dont have that kind of non verbal link with yet and a deeper understanding of what works for both of you

  • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    16 hours ago

    I expected it to be lower, probably personal bias though. 9 seems like a really high number of partners to me, and half of people (ish I know median vs average) have more then that? Surprising.

  • inTheShadowOf [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    18 hours ago

    I don’t ever think of partners in a numerical way. When the time and situation is right, I guess my number goes up. I haven’t had too many and am happy sharing intimacy/my life in a selective way. I’m also monogamous which influences how often this happens with someone new.

  • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    19 hours ago

    Counting is dumb and pointless imo and nothing good can come of either keeping track or disclosing

    In fact “I don’t want to know how many people you’ve been with” is a perfect response when some people feel compelled to volunteer this information

  • hogslayer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    17 hours ago

    So if I’m in my 30’s and waaaay behind, is there hope I could catch up to the average or am I just gonna be behind forever? lol

    • Hexamerous [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      9 hours ago

      Absolutely. I think the takeaway here should be that 9 partners isn’t really a big deal. Like, if you star t having sex between 15-20 and settle down around 25-30 it’s just 1-2 people a year. It dosn’t take much to get there if you’re mentally well, somewhat socially adjusted. And if you’re not comfortable in yourself yet but become that later in life, it’s a high probability that you’ll “catch up” too.

      There’s a bunch of cultural and generational aspects of this too of course, but assuming you live in “the west” and go to social gatherings and you’re not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting “porn sex” it shouldn’t be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you’re in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you’re basically above average.

      • Outdoor_Catgirl [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        8 hours ago

        you’re not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting “porn sex” it shouldn’t be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you’re in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you’re basically above average.

        Stop repeating this shit. “Bad people are fucking. If you aren’t, it must be because you’re worse than the bad people,” is just virgin shaming.

    • REgon [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      12 hours ago

      Bigger number doesn’t equal better number. But in my experience I received more interest from people when I weren’t looking to hook up, probably because it allowed me to interact with them in a personable non horny way.
      I’ve had some good times using hinge too, but I live in a big city with good public transport, so my life is probably different from yours.
      I know lots of old people who just started to hit their “hoe phase” and I know swinger clubs aren’t really for the young and pretty most of the time.

    • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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      15 hours ago

      well for one, there isn’t inherent value to number going up, it doesn’t determine your worth, but secondly yeah I mean I’d say chances are probably pretty high of it goin up, especially if you are looking!

      • hogslayer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        13 hours ago

        I’d say chances are probably pretty high of it goin up, especially if you are looking!

        well I’ve been looking my whole adult life, and still no dice. At this point I have to conclude I’m too broken for anyone to be interested in me, even if only for a FWB or fling or whatever.

      • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        14 hours ago

        for me the low number is from a compete lack of opportunity and a symptom of horrible social problems.

        having the option would require my life to have vastly improved, which is what i want and have no delusions or expectations of happening,

        • hogslayer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          13 hours ago

          yeah, same here @ everything you said.

          a symptom of horrible social problems.

          For me, it’s living at home + no job + no car. Also being really shy due to trauma, and living in a lame place. idk about you.

          • OgdenTO [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            7 hours ago

            This thread actually sucks, because the only outcome is it makes people feel like they are not “meeting expectations”. I am way below this number but not worried about it in the slightest. The number itself is meaningless. “Catching up” seems like it’s an expectation or obligation, when really everyone does relationships differently. Please don’t feel like you need to reach this number, or even try. But if you do want a sexual partner, that’s totally fine too! Just don’t feel like you are a failure for not having more partners.