Pen 15

You have to demand they present their de-escalation loicense

She wanted you to kiss her on the mouth.

Single guy here, I love beer. And whiskey.

Lacto pickle juice is God tier at killing a hangover. Don’t waste your money and life on vinegar pickles. You need proper authentic bubbie pickles BUT that shit absolutely slaps after a heavy night on the town.

Some mornings you’ll do more shots of pickle juice than liquor the night prior. That’s good!

Thank me later. Learn to lacto ferment vegetables and you’ll never nurse a hangover again.

Real talk? Drop a tip to CRA with receipts showing the business is falsifying tax documents. Fines against businesses are an order of magnitude greater than fines against individuals. Yes the guilty individuals will see consequence, as they should (fucking degenerates gtfo) but the business enabling their degenerate behavior will be far more hard fucked, as is deserved.

If that fails there was a guy named Molotov who invented a cocktail…

British police actually care about their communities and favour de-escalation over violence since it curates respect and obedience better than otherwise. American cops favour large budgets and shiny toys that go boom and will allow whatever it takes to gain more of them. American cops also enjoy shooting people for sport as evidenced by the majority of police shootings the past several decades. British police have quail hunts for that itch.

My Christ.

Plenty of opportunities for me on the black market then.

Morons.

Lemmy users > Reddit slugs

I have a theory it’s the same number as toasters you can fit in the bathtub but so far I keep dying.

Piss in the shower

• Makes the mango taste better

Because you smell different when you’re awake.

I have a Riptor tattoo.

I hide them in my foreskin. WAY more flattering.

Why give it the wifi password on the first place?

Last year he didn’t get me anything but offered to trade me two fives for a ten

Forecasting the weather?!? As advertised?!? Colour me surprised.

Incel Island

The Moon is 384,400 km away from Earth. If you took every elephant on Earth and stacked them one atop another most of them would die.

I saw them in '06 and he was doing it back then too. He had the decency to materialize for the encore at least.