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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: November 3rd, 2025

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  • I suggest these short articles:

    Beyond “F*ck You”: An organizer’s approach to confronting hateful language at work

    Beyond F*ck You 2: workplace organizing against oppressive language and behavior

    After a period of waiting for the right moment–excruciating in itself–I found myself clocking out when I overheard S., the worst offender, laughingly yell over at another worker: “Mike, you’re such a fuckingremovedot!” Truth be told, I actually got along pretty well with S.; he was a nice guy, good sense of humor other than the fucked up stuff like that, we joked frequently about how unrealistic the expectations were of us and how obnoxious some of our bosses were. I walked up to him, and asked, “Hey S., can you do me a favor?” “Yeah, man, what’s up?” “Can you cut it out with the gay jokes? I really don’t like hearing that shit.”

    There was a pause. “What, like about you? Because I don’t think I said anything about you–” “Nah, not about me, just in general. I just don’t like hearing that, so I’d really appreciate it if you could knock it off. I gotta run to catch my bus, but if you wanna talk about it more some time, I’d be happy to.” S.’s look of concern and confusion turned to a nod, “OK, man, not a problem. Sorry if I pissed you off or anything.” And that was that.

    The results were quick and effective. With S. removed from the picture, the homophobic banter went from something that happened multiple times per day to a few isolated incidents. When those comments did crop up, I took the exact same attitude, with the same results. One day at break, S. was talking about shopping at a health-food store where his girlfriend works: “I mean, it’s good food, but whenever I’m checking out, I’m like, oh man, I feel like such a… a…” He stopped and looked at me with a sort of deer-in-headlights look on his face. I piped in, “like a fuckin’ hippy?” He cracked up, “Yeah man, like a fucking hippy. Shit, I’m turning into a hippy.” The rest of the day was a series of jokes about what kind of incense we should get him for his birthday.




  • They had sex in the dark.

    In history, there have been cases of both trans women and men who had het sexual relationships where they were perceived as cis, even without the benefit of any kind of surgical (or even hormonal) treatments. People got married, lived together and everything for years. Prior to much medical procedures being available, I think it was easier for men. Sometimes outed if they were ill, injured, died, arrested or otherwise had to undergo unavoidable exam or nudity.

    Of course you think that maybe the partners knew and were accepting but discrete. According to witnesses, sometimes they did appear to be legitimately shocked and upset at the discovery. Even that is difficult to be for sure, because the consequences both social and legal would have strongly incentivized giving the impression that you were an unknowing victim of deceit.


  • Not all languages have gendered pronouns in the same way, and I’m not clear to me if Chinese does. When they are available, their use as a signifier of true gender identity is not universal, nor is the idea of a true gender identity in the first place. The delineation between homosexual and trans is quite novel.

    This person’s pronouns were she/her when on the job in france, and probably none or he/him at home in China. But it’s impossible to really assign identities retroactively to historical figures. Speculation difficult to avoid.