Write that sentence down. Then read it again.
And then grab someone you trust and make them help you find a psychiatrist. It involves lists and calling and waiting and planning and appointments, aka all the things you are probably terrible at. So get help if possible.
The stock indices have reached new records after every single crash . Because capitalism must grow. Line must go up. Because if line go down, the whole promise of return of investment goes out of the window and the thing collapses. Any money you put in the market as a whole (ETFs), will be worth more in the future than it is now. But it has to be money that you don’t need to rely on in the next 15-20 years, so it’s exclusively for people who are rich already.
Everything else, like picking a single stock like those GameStop idiots, is just straight up gambling. Betting on horse racing is equally as productive.