“I’m leaving because you farted in the kitchen last night.”

Imagine the most technologically advanced thing you’ve ever seen is an AM radio that exclusively plays the national anthem, and suddenly you’re being hunted by silent sky robots. I’m surprised they haven’t all surrendered yet.

Every time I share my photography with my parents, they suggest new ways I should be selling it. Just let me enjoy the pretty birds, dad

That damned smile

Can I just request an amputation?

I’m glad Trump is putting a stop to US elections so I can finally stop hearing about them

The Cons could run anyone. It doesn’t matter. “Not Trudeau” will win the next election.

I can’t get high rn, I’ll freak out.

Might as well ask, the worst he can do is say no.

How did I not know they made a sequel?!

And I forgot it in another dream

You can’t just drop that little tidbit without some juicy details, man.

The time was ten years ago. We’re boned.

I grew up and learned that we were poor

Money talks

But it never tells you love is more important

That said, I’d probably be happier if I wasn’t living in a basement with a single window.

Ah, this just started in the last couple of weeks.

Hell

A couple of birth defects wouldn’t matter much if you’re walking around a penguin buffet. They’d be fine.

I’m on Librewolf too. Recently its been fully signing me out of my extensions on every startup, so I can’t just unlock bitwarden with my pin anymore. Anyone else run into this?

The gesture itself was nice, but the fact that he kept hard liquor in his desk to soothe employees at their breaking point was one symptom of the horrible culture at the company.

One time I came back from my lunchtime car scream looking particularly haggard and my boss offered me whisky from his desk. I don’t work there anymore.