by not thinking that way, tbh. love who you are and remember that you’re assessing whether you like him as much as vice versa. you are a fucking stud deserving of love, just go in trying to have a cool ass fun time with a new person and let things progress as they are meant to. i’m sure he’s got a lot of good qualities that make you want to impress him, but remebmer that you do too

reading through my 2024 journal after having not written in it for a while (at least not counting journalposting here, huehhuehhueh). giving me some weird strong mixed emotions. the life of a sensitive boy, i guess. what can i say.

TY buddy!! i listened to pornography a few days ago and really liked it, listened to faith just before your post and liked it but not as much as the other two. i’ll check the rest out shortly!!

also i’m full of shit. i have been writing the last couple years, i just haven’t found a project that’s spoken to me enough to complete in that time. plus i’ve been iterating my existing material. that’s way different from having no drive/imagination.

my kneejerk negative inner voice is such a narcissistic self-centered woe is me little turd part of me i swear 2 god

starting to wonder if the consistent writing chapter of my life is over indefinitely, or for the foreseeable future. my motivation and imagination have really felt sapped for over two years, and yet i still miss it and feel a creative need not being fed. idk, i almost spoiler tagged this behind “self pitying bullshit.” but maybe accepting that it could be behind me could take some pressure off and i’ll find my way back to it through that lack of pressure. and hey, three feature scripts that i pretty much all like and feel proud of (this varies day by day ofc) - which are vastly different from each other in many ways while still showing a distinct, recurrent authorial voice & vision - is further than many with these silly ambitions get.

ey. gottem.

personal galaxy brain top 5 cure albums? (im trying to branch out beyond abrasive 2010s internet weirdo music)

that stinks comrade. some people just have different messaging patterns/phone glued-ness, it could be that? idk, i don’t know the specifics of your situation, but do you think they’d be receptive to it if you brought it up as a need that’s missing so you could find a compromise/balance that works for both of you?

since i started Doing Politics i have like 2-3 dozen new friendly acquaintances in the span of less than two months it kinda goes (would b nice if some of them evolved into full friends tho )

wait i’ve been painting my nails black for over a year now and no one told me how fucking hard disintegration by the cure goes? holy shit this album is goated

prezinald trumkt

presinald trunt

slow mega. i expect better from yall. how else am i supposed to have fun in a windowless office…

bad pic to make your point, twink death version 1000 percent hotter

oh also talking to anyone im remotely attracted to because oh god what if i make a lady uncomfortable oh jesus oh god

i consider myself decently socially able, not the life of the party or anything but reasonably charismatic, especially when ive warmed up in one on one contexts. but one huge social blindspot i have is how and whether it’s appropriate to inject myself into established circles of people in party/mingling scenarios. also what to do with my body when i’m not actively socializing in such scenarios is always a challenge, i feel like i kinda just bumble and hang awkwardly in the ether.

you can pry my chapo chat profile pic from my cold dead hands!!!

No sorry can’t happen me and my wife swing but we aren’t poly so methinks u should keep your distance…. >:(