This is also my general approach when working. My part-time jobs I’ve had while studying so far I put in a very low effort😅, but at least for part of my training I won’t be able to put in low effort and if I want to achieve this goal I’ll have to keep up my current grind.
That sounds like a decent boss. Generally in my country work-life-balance is very appreciated and emphasized, but the field I’m going into is known for workaholism. I have a friend whose parents are doctors and they work literally all the time😅
I definitely agree. I think I tend to overfill my schedule as then I won’t have any time left to ruminate about the bad parts of my life, and I like being busy as I’m way more productive that way. I generally could see myself happy with a standard cliche family life with a husband and kids, but I don’t know if that will ever be achievable for me considering my circumstances sadly.
That’s how it is for me too currently. I’ve let my studies and work basically swallow up all of my time😅 In a way I prefer it as then I don’t have time to ruminate or be sad about the things I don’t like about my life😅
I’m still in my early 20s, but with my current goal/idea in mind I’d be spending most of my 20s and 30s grinding to reach it. My current lifestyle ain’t great as I’m a student, so it would only be worse in regards to hours worked per week.
I definitely fear this. I’m probably pushing 60+ hours right now between studying, work, extracurriculars, etc.😵💫
How did you know you were burned out, or approaching burnout?
The issue is I can’t assert boundaries as the period with the worst work-life-balance is a medical residency so I’ll have to tough it out at least until I’m done with residency (which takes 5-8 years🥲)
It is in the medical field, so while I’d still be underappreciated, there is such a lack of personnel that the odds of being let go are near zero unless I massively mess up. The main issue is the residency part after I have my degree which will be truly awful work-life-balance-wise, but after that it eases up a bit.
A surgical subspecialty (I’m currently in med school), I can specify the specialty further if necessary, but it’s know for having a terrible work-life-balance (at least during residency where you’d be regularly pushing 70+ hours a week).
The main issue is that I’m trans, so dating is a truly terrible nightmare. I can’t really date people I know or people who are related to my network as I would then have to break stealth and out myself, which I want to avoid by any means.
Not OP, but I recently met a guy while clubbing with my friend. Well the guy is a friend of the friend I went with, but I had never expected that to happen. It won’t work out for various reasons, but yeah as cliche as it sounds, going new places or meeting friends of friends are good options. I’ve also met many cool people while participating in various clubs and organizations at my university.
Yessss this so much. There is so much opportunity cost due to being trans. Like having to wasting time on various transition related things and also working and saving money for surgeries just to reach the baseline of other people, like I could spend this money on so many other things, but I just can’t. It sucks so much😵💫😭
It’s quite hard not to😭 I feel like I’d be stressing too if I was out to my friends, like I feel that I’d be missing out on things that would not happen if I was open about being trans, and it’s risky career-wise as I’m in medschool and connections and reputation matter a lot as it’s kind of small community😵💫 idk in any case my goal is to be fully stealth by the age of 25 or I’ll off myself, so I have to minimize all risk😅
I might consider it, but I’m just scared of his reaction, especially because he knows where I live and we live like 5-10 minutes from each other😭
I hate that it has to be so difficult to be trans😭 There seem to be awful trade-offs both when stealth and non-stealth. Are you fully stealth or out to friends?
Yup, the Nordic countries are absolutely awful in that regard. I’m planning on leaving and as crazy as it sounds the US is a possible choice for me.
Canada is pretty good, definitely one of the better countries in the world when it comes to gender affirming care. The Netherlands has awfully long waitlists for HRT, but if you’ve already started HRT and have a gender dysphoria diagnosis you might be able to skip the waitlist. Portugal is alright from what I hear, but I don’t know much about what it’s like.
Generally the best countries in Europe in terms of GAC seem to be Spain, France and Germant. Also keep in mind that injectable estradiol is basically unavailable in almost all of Europe. Only a few countries such as Czechia and Slovakia have it on the market.
I’m assuming from your username that you are trans, so I just wanted to mention that gender affirming care in the blue US states eclipses basically any other country. I’ve seen a good amount of posts by Americans who’ve moved here to the Nordic countries and were surprised at the truly awful gender affirming care. So definitely make sure to research which countries are decent for trans people when looking at possible options.
But did you tell them before or after being intimate? I feel like that complicates the situation as I’ve intimate with him (but not had sex)
I think my issue is also breaking stealth to disclose. Most people I meet in my day to day life are people with whom I have mutual friends, so I’d risk outing myself to my friends if I disclose to these men😅
Idk generally I do deal with anxiety so it might be because of that, but maintaining stealth is my number one priority in life. I do often think about whether maintaining stealth is worth having massively reduced dating options😵💫
I haven’t dated much, only been on 5 dates before, so I don’t have much experience😅 In this case he knows where I live and I can’t guarantee a positive outcome, so I won’t risk being assaulted. Generally I also avoid dating stealth as I feel it’s not too viable for me as, even though I seem to pass/be stealth, I still have some clockable features, but it has definitely been nice to just be seen and treated as any other woman🥹
Idk it’s kind of sad, but I can’t do much in this situation. But yaa I should be focused on studying anyway🥲
Kind of a side-track, but where have you had the most success when dating? I’ve tried some awful apps, but I met this guy through a friend.
Will be seeing a cute guy I met recently again today, but I don’t think he knows I’m trans, so it’ll be the last time I see him. So yaa, quite sad about that🥲
Somewhat positively though, I think I’ve narrowed down my future career goals, and my HRT dose was increased.
It sadly does seem like life is just inherently bittersweet. I guess my main issue is with the trans-specific issues that I wouldn’t have to deal with had I been born cis😭 Idk I’m just so tired of it all🥲
And thank you for sharing❤️
That sounds awful, 45 hours a week is already quite a lot, I hope you find a good solution.
I see that you moved to the US, which is my plan too (depending on how the coming years play out, but weather is honestly a big factor for me too😅), so I’d also need to stick it out for the visa.