I’d love this, but like Hero’s Path so it knows everywhere you’ve ever been, like the time I somehow made it back to Merton from wherever the night bus dropped me off drunk that time.

My mum used to have a lard jar that was a mix of concealed bacon fat and god knows what else. Not a fan.

Leave it, Babe. ‘E’s not worth it!

I’m not sure not wanting to die in a food root is a gene.

What about not having children?

The pickpocket has already failed if the mark sees them, so not sure what was happening here. And people who are not used to pick pockets would not likely be looking out for them. Were they going around in groups wearing “Official Paris Olympics Pickpocket” hi-vis vests?

It’d make sense at protocol level. Otherwise, yeah, even bit-size database columns end up being stored as a word unless the engine compacts it.

Sure, go back to a time where you might have to fight for your life just for wearing the wrong t-shirt out of Blur and Oasis (Pulp btw).

I’ve noticed a lot of the “I’m one of the good ones” types genuinely seem to think everything that happens online is either in or relating to America.

Coming soon to election centres near you.

I was terrified of these when I was little, but fortunately they’re not that common in Yorkshire. I made the decision to focus my worry on the Bermuda Triangle instead.

Why would I eat a guinea pig’s name?

And there’s me just thinking the joke was that it turned him into anime.

Sir Walter Raleigh returns from the New World to present the crazy edible tubers he found to the Queen of England, but Samwise Gamgee is already there with his pot.

You can choose not to drive bleeding edge technology, but sadly you have no choice in whether to share the road with it.

They should call for federal aid.

The bit about alewives is. The hat thing is supposition.

The firm handshake worked great until I met an employer who was higher Dan in Judo than me.

Absolute snorkle.

Your holiday is from the heatwave.