Cyberpunk 2077: Here’s a really important and urgent thing. We can’t stress enough how little time you have. Also, we just unlocked the rest of the city and a million side quests. Have fun!

No I mean so I can fry it and get fat.

Eurotica.

Let’s be honest, if we wanted a game story in those days it was in the manual.

I feel like we had decent co-op games back then.

World of Illusion (the one with Mickey and Donald). The Chaos Engine.

Hell, a lot of arcade games had co-op modes, like Gauntlet.

Not many, I’ll admit, but at least it was more than one company making them.

Given how this one’s going, that doesn’t seem like a great plan.

He is trying. Just needs a bigger grinder to feed them all into.

You can get them on Amazon.

Hey, I’ve seen this one.

Cue the article comments about a war on motorists. Mostly from people who don’t even live there.

I’ve been through Cambridge on the train, and there’s always a shitload of bicycles. Presumably it’s mostly students about who use them locally, because there’s no way you’d actually get more than a handful on the trains themselves.

Presumably they’ve also got security, because if they tried that where I live, some lad with bolt cutters and a balaclava would help himself to the lot and swap it for heroin.

Which Echo devices ever supported local only processing? They cost about £30. There’s no kit that can do decent voice commands for that money. You’d be lucky to have a device that processes claps to turn the lights on for that.

Maybe their CEO shouldn’t have made it his life’s mission to become the world’s biggest cunt, then.

Oh of course, if you fire all your public workers, you can’t have a genocide because there’s nobody to carry out your orders.

Silly fucking me.

I’m assuming we can look forward to all those cops and ICE agents being fired then.

Instructions unclear.

Locked it behind a Discord community instead. 🤡

Come on guys, his company is only worth $157 billion.

Of course he can’t pay for content he needs for his automated bullshit machine. He’s not made of money!

I’ve got a small tube of hydrocortisone cream. I’ve also got a small tube of toothpaste for travel use.

Accidents have very nearly happened. If it wasn’t for the minty smell it likely would have done by now. Especially when not wearing corrective eye-wear.

And most of them have the surname “Kardashian”.

Preem.

Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Oh no, better double down on the cuntishness, fire all the workers and give ourselves an enormous bonus!