It is kinda ruining my life lmao. I have never felt this strongly for anyone. When we talk, I can ride that high for days. But then she gives me (what I perceive as) the cold shoulder and the depression I feel… boy. It’s been like this for months. I cannot go on, man.
I think of it, and largely as a framework for most things, as a cosmic & super fucked up roller coaster. Which is to say your resistance is futile and the feelings and whether or not they work out are secondary to your gratitude for being in the amusement park in the first place. Like if you get blown the fuck out it’s like puking after going on the roller coaster - you can still go “wooooh!” and laugh with your friends while your stomach is turned inside out and your hair is all messed up. Even if you’re the subject of the picture and you look ridiculous you can still put a funny caption on the picture before posting it.
I hope to love recklessly and passionately until I find someone who actually wants to hold onto it. I want to get the most out of my time at the park. Seldom do people on their death beds reach up to the light and go “I gave too many compliments!” before shitting themselves and dying. Which is to say tell them how you feel yesterday and puke if the fast half of the coaster is too much.
Wow. Incredible. Thank you so much. This was very well stated. I just…I don’t want that confession to end up making things extremely awkward at work. And I want to do it in person if possible. Any advice?
Comrade, I’m not a good person to ask for that sort of thing. But my intuition tells me that you should invite them to get a sit down meal outside of business hours.
if they’re not going to do that then you wouldn’t get much further if feelings were involved. Paying for someone’s lunch is a good way to exchange information, ask for advice, and clarify situations in general.
you can express your feelings
you can ask whether they’re interested in learning more about one another - especially in consideration of risking awkward work situations. Risk tolerance varies from person to person.
For your own sake and theirs I would frame this as curiosity about connection no matter how sure your infatuation feels. I think, blasphemously, that the yearning in your chest is primarily a signal (to be more curious about them). There’s a whooooole lot more to learn about a person you’re infatuated with that you’d only ever know when you’re close to them. There’s every chance that they’re afraid to be vulnerable because they’ll drop their walls, let you in, you don’t like what you see, and you reject them in a way that feels super personal. Which is why it’s so important to be disarming, curious, and sympathetic. Talk slowly and confidently knowing that even if they reject you it’s fine because you were only looking to learn more.
(Disarmingly throughout) invite to lunch -> ask about their love life -> express your feelings -> see if there’s interest to pursue something
Well put