Hey everyone,

Iā€™m reaching out because Iā€™ve been feeling really misunderstood lately, and Iā€™m hoping to get some perspectives from others who might share similar experiences. Iā€™ve been struggling with how my ADHD, particularly with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), is coming across to people, and Iā€™ve even been called a narcissist, which is honestly heartbreaking and frustrating.

Hereā€™s the thing: I know that people sometimes see my need for affirmation and validation and think itā€™s me being arrogant or seeking attention for the wrong reasons. But itā€™s so much more complicated than that.

With ADHD, my self-esteem has always been fragile, and Iā€™ve often felt like Iā€™m different or not quite ā€œfitting in.ā€ I know that sounds clichĆ©, but itā€™s real for me. Because of RSD, when I get even a small whiff of rejection, criticism, or being left out, it feels like it hits me harder than it would for most people. I react more intensely to these things, and it can feel like a punch to the gut. So, to counteract that, Iā€™ve developed a way of building up my confidence, and thatā€™s where the need for affirmation comes in. Itā€™s not about seeking attention, itā€™s about needing emotional reassurance to make myself feel secure, to feel like I belong.

But when I post something on social media or share a success with friends, Iā€™m not seeking the spotlight. I genuinely donā€™t want to be the center of attention or for people to think Iā€™m showing off. What Iā€™m craving, though, is the positive affirmation that makes me feel like Iā€™m not a failure, like Iā€™m not invisible.

The thing is, some people see this behavior and immediately think Iā€™m being a narcissist. And that hurts. Narcissism is a complex thing, but one thing I know is that I donā€™t lack empathy. I have an overactive sense of empathy (thanks, ASD), but sometimes it doesnā€™t come across because I struggle with social cues. For example, when I get defensive or react strongly to criticism, itā€™s not about feeling superior to anyone or being indifferent to their feelings,itā€™s about feeling emotionally triggered by rejection. The narcissist stereotype doesnā€™t fit because I want to understand how others are feeling. I genuinely care about the people in my life, but I donā€™t always know how to show it the right way.

Another thing that gets me in trouble is how my ASD makes me interact socially. I have trouble understanding social dynamics and sometimes Iā€™ll miss things that would seem obvious to others. For example, I might not pick up on someoneā€™s frustration with me until itā€™s too late, or Iā€™ll misinterpret how people are feeling. In these moments, itā€™s not that Iā€™m trying to manipulate or use people,itā€™s that I simply donā€™t know how to navigate the situation because my brain is wired differently.

Iā€™m not trying to make excuses, but Iā€™m hoping that people can understand that what might look like narcissism is often me navigating a world thatā€™s hard to understand and trying to keep my emotional world from collapsing in on itself.

The worst part is, the more I try to explain myself, the more I feel like Iā€™m being misunderstood. Iā€™ve been told that I come across as selfish, and it kills me, because deep down, Iā€™m desperate for connection. Iā€™m not trying to hurt people, Iā€™m just trying to keep my self-esteem intact, to protect myself from feeling the crushing weight of rejection that I canā€™t always control. But every time someone calls me a narcissist or accuses me of being self-centered, itā€™s like a slap in the face. It feels like they donā€™t understand the real pain behind my actions.

I want to be genuine, to connect with others in meaningful ways, but my own brain sometimes gets in the way. I donā€™t want attention for attentionā€™s sake, but I do thrive on positive interactions. Just a simple word of affirmation or encouragement can help me feel like Iā€™m seen. When people praise me or recognize something Iā€™ve done well, it lifts me up, but itā€™s not about ego; itā€™s about survival. Itā€™s emotional nourishment, and I need it.

If any of you have struggled with these same challenges, where ADHD, and ASD are making you feel like youā€™re always walking a fine line between seeking support and being misunderstood as a narcissist, I would really appreciate your insights. How do you cope with the intense need for validation without feeling like youā€™re being seen as self-absorbed? How do you navigate the pain of rejection or misinterpretation?

And for those who have experienced similar dynamics in their friendships or relationships, whatā€™s been helpful for you in explaining these patterns? How do you manage the balance between needing affirmation and still trying to be a good, empathetic person?

Thanks for listening. Iā€™m really just hoping for some understanding here.

  • underburglar@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    It sounds like you might be hanging out with people who arenā€™t good for you or who you want to be. Kind people donā€™t go around claiming others are narcissistic. I had people throw that kind of thing around when I was hanging with the wrong crowd and they turned out to be projecting more than anything.

    I know ā€œblock and move onā€ is easier said than done but sometimes you gotta protect yourself and your peace.

    If your friends donā€™t make a good faith effort to understand you when you explain where youā€™re coming from, theyā€™re not very good friends.