“Nooo! Us Nazis aren’t evil, we’re just misunderstood!
One of my hotter takes is that the “vampires that sparkle” shit and related “blood sucking monster is actually really nice if he wants to have sex with you” slop of the early 2000s was basically that. It had some overlap with “The Galactic Empire of Star Wars Did Nothing Wrong, Actually” and “Grey Jedi that have all the cool dark side powers but don’t label them, maaaaaaan” shit in that fandom too.
Good point. It’s often glamorized, too. Like “oh these blood thralls experience so much pleasure from being walking juice boxes that they don’t mind and/or they don’t even have meaningful consciousness anyway, teehee.”
Okay but what if that’s your kink though sincerely and not a bit-ly. Like, y’know?
To me there is a world of difference between “ooh getting bit by this vampire and becoming a thrall to them would be hot” and “THIS FINE MAN LOUIS, HE OWNED A PLANTATION, HE’S A VALIANT MAN” type shit, I guess.
There’s such a thing as problematic favorites, and yes, I can definitely imagine (though not share) the fictionalized fantasy of being the thrall of some “nice” slaver (or not so nice, some people really got a thing for being hurt in their fantasies).
I read some of those vampire books and there was so much weird shit but I was 13 and horny and it was the late 90s so what you gonna do? You read some smut with the barest veneer of story between the sex parts. Look, mom, I’m reading! I’m being a good boy just please knock before you come in here!
But I definitely remember one series that had vampires hanging out with Krishna as the backstory because vampires were the original Aryans and of course the main character is a sexy blonde lady and looking back I think “what the fuck was going on”
That’s the subtext that bothered me: “this malevolent entity that’s known for draining blood/souls/something-you-need-to-live and is a parasite on the living world is nice and wants to have sex with me”
There was even a horrid Star Wars EU book called, I kid you not, something like “Twilight of the Jedi” that directly tried to chase the “what if bad things good and sparkly and want to have sex with you” thing but with space magic and lightsabers.
Oh God I think I remember that book. Or I at least saw the cover. One of my friends was a huge fan of those books and had every single one. And invariably he would do something stupid and get in trouble for hitting his younger brother and he’d get banned to his room. And I couldn’t abandon my friend because that would be rude. So I’d just hang out in there with him read all the back covers of his books while he pouted.
Even the blurb was bad and the book itself was even worse. It was a direct deliberate attempt to cash in on the sparkle vampire fad, Star Wars edition. It came out not long before the Disney takeover eradicated the old EU into “Legends” status and in “Twilight of the Jedi’s” case it was a mercy kill.
Oh that’s definitely way after the stuff I was familiar with. I do remember all the hooting and hollering when they shitcanned the EU and I was glad to stay out of it.
That being said, I’m surprised that CHUDs haven’t adopted Frankenstein’s monster or Grendel from the novel in 1971.
“Nooo! Us Nazis aren’t evil, we’re just misunderstood! And did you guys know we were sad once?”
One of my hotter takes is that the “vampires that sparkle” shit and related “blood sucking monster is actually really nice if he wants to have sex with you” slop of the early 2000s was basically that. It had some overlap with “The Galactic Empire of Star Wars Did Nothing Wrong, Actually” and “Grey Jedi that have all the cool dark side powers but don’t label them, maaaaaaan” shit in that fandom too.
Freezing cold take but the amount of times vampires are literal slaveowners or confederate soldiers is disquieting.
Good point. It’s often glamorized, too. Like “oh these blood thralls experience so much pleasure from being walking juice boxes that they don’t mind and/or they don’t even have meaningful consciousness anyway, teehee.”
Okay but what if that’s your kink though
sincerely and not a bit-ly. Like, y’know?
To me there is a world of difference between “ooh getting bit by this vampire and becoming a thrall to them would be hot” and “THIS FINE MAN LOUIS, HE OWNED A PLANTATION, HE’S A VALIANT MAN” type shit, I guess.
There’s such a thing as problematic favorites, and yes, I can definitely imagine (though not share) the fictionalized fantasy of being the thrall of some “nice” slaver (or not so nice, some people really got a thing for being hurt in their fantasies).
I read some of those vampire books and there was so much weird shit but I was 13 and horny and it was the late 90s so what you gonna do? You read some smut with the barest veneer of story between the sex parts. Look, mom, I’m reading! I’m being a good boy just please knock before you come in here!
But I definitely remember one series that had vampires hanging out with Krishna as the backstory because vampires were the original Aryans and of course the main character is a sexy blonde lady and looking back I think “what the fuck was going on”
That’s the subtext that bothered me: “this malevolent entity that’s known for draining blood/souls/something-you-need-to-live and is a parasite on the living world is nice and wants to have sex with me”
There was even a horrid Star Wars EU book called, I kid you not, something like “Twilight of the Jedi” that directly tried to chase the “what if bad things good and sparkly and want to have sex with you” thing but with space magic and lightsabers.
Oh God I think I remember that book. Or I at least saw the cover. One of my friends was a huge fan of those books and had every single one. And invariably he would do something stupid and get in trouble for hitting his younger brother and he’d get banned to his room. And I couldn’t abandon my friend because that would be rude. So I’d just hang out in there with him read all the back covers of his books while he pouted.
Even the blurb was bad and the book itself was even worse. It was a direct deliberate attempt to cash in on the sparkle vampire fad, Star Wars edition. It came out not long before the Disney takeover eradicated the old EU into “Legends” status and in “Twilight of the Jedi’s” case it was a mercy kill.
Oh that’s definitely way after the stuff I was familiar with. I do remember all the hooting and hollering when they shitcanned the EU and I was glad to stay out of it.
The ultimate bazinga novel
I don’t think Ready Player One/Two will easily dethroned.
this would require them to read a book (impossible)