Love to see a bunch of shit I’m not qualified for and then a bunch of things that don’t begin to cover my expenses and feel bad about myself and my circumstances and cry and eventually put one application for a custodian position with the county because what the fuck else will I do
I know if I went back to school and finished a degree it would give me a leg up but I just can’t fucking handle the workload of work and school anymore, I feel like such a lazy piece of shit but I just don’t have it in me anymore to keep this shit up
Dealing with a lot of dark thoughts today. Very dark.
Job-hunting depression is complemented by the false ego boosting that occurs while you’re employed or studying.
When you’re “in”, you are encouraged to overestimate your own contribution to the economy/world. No one keeps each other in check. Then when you’re unemployed, you are forced to confront the reality of your position as a replaceable laborer. Mere personnel. It’s like this at every level, people lying to themselves and each other about their importance, and denigrating the unemployed in order to solidify their own tenuous position.