this is an experiment i have done for the last week or something. no upbear counters, no upbear buttons, just sorted by new or new comments. it has been very nice, but i know that inevitably somebody is gonna feel like i’m being snooty to them for not upbearing them. its very nice that people are taking time out of their day to engage with me on the net, and i always feel that when i get the notifications, but i think some of them are gonna take it personally if i keep this crap up

the question: how important is this little courtesy to you??? does it bother you if you dont get upvotes when you are talking to people?

thank you for your replies but know that for responding to this survey i cannot offer any remuneration. you are encouraged to not upbear this post or even report it if you see any flagrant rulebreaks

just for context i have done this experiment to see if it feels better and if i feel less obsessive about innernet points/see if i make better comments without the motivation (turns out this one is a no)

  • glans [it/its]@hexbear.net
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    22 days ago

    i know that inevitably somebody is gonna feel like i’m being snooty to them for not upbearing them

    how can someone even know that?

    and what is people’s expectations? that every single friend of their upvote every single little thing they do on the internet? is this whole website so insecure?

    are people somehow tracking each individual other user’s responses, tallying this, and judging the other users by it?

    doesn’t everyone else know that sometimes they will say things that other people are indifferent to, or that they even disagree with? even those people you generally like? isn’t that a known fact of social interactions?


    I think if you don’t want to upvote, you shouldn’t. You do you.

    Personally I like the voting system. It serves as an approximation of the collective opinion. On niche forums especially, I think the collective opinion is worthy of respect even when I disagree.

    how important is this little courtesy to you??? does it bother you if you dont get upvotes when you are talking to people?

    well tbh I don’t think it’s a courtesy, I think it is a gauge of the collective opinions. Sometimes if I make a comment or post I think will be contentious I look later to see “how it did”. Not cause I want to know how kindly the readers were feeling, but to know if I understand the opinions of the forum correctly.

    One thing I have learned, from various different forums, subreddits, and lemmies, is that loooong rambling comments like this one consistently “do” very badly because they are too boring to read. But yet I make them anyway.

    • 12022081631 [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      22 days ago

      well tbh I don’t think it’s a courtesy, I think it is a gauge of the collective opinions. Sometimes if I make a comment or post I think will be contentious I look later to see “how it did”. Not cause I want to know how kindly the readers were feeling, but to know if I understand the opinions of the forum correctly.

      I do genuinely like this facet of the feature. it becomes weird particularly when it becomes a comment chain or conversation between two people, but I do understand and agree with the value. The funny thing is that while I might be asking about this right now, when I first showed up to Hexbear it was my barometer to make sure I wasn’t completely wasting my time/irritating everyone

      e: fwiw i enjoyed your comment and read the whole thing