thinking about a friend from high school who i said a lot of eggy shit to and they said a lot back at me. wonder how they’re doing?

  • 🎀 Seryph (She/Her)@lemmygrad.ml
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    11 months ago

    Speaking as someone who had another person tell me directly that I was almost certainly trans while I was still in denial, I think it made me go further into denial rather than help me at all.

    I do think that saying literally nothing isn’t super helpful either though, leading statements work best imo, as well as offering small sites and stuff when they ask for it.

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Yeah, as much as i’d love to have an egg cracker, i don’t think it works like that. I also think it would’ve helped if i had had more unbiased info about transness when i was an egg, but getting cracked was a long process with a ton of steps, i basically had to overcome all of my intenralized transphobia first and then see convincing examples of trans joy to crack me.

      People are closeted for a reason, and that reason is that we’ve all been raised in a crushingly transphobic society where even in the best cases, our existences are almost always exclusively portrayed as tragic tales of martyrdom. As a horrible faith that sadly can’t be helped because

      spoiler

      the very, very few real actual true transsexuals are cursed with this overwhelming desire to live as the opposite sex

      (just typing that makes my skin crawl, i’m gonna spoiler it for transmedicalism).

      When you’re in denial, you will actively run away from that when somebody says to you “hey, you could also lead a live of crushing gender dysphoria and being afraid of transphobic hate crimes”. The only way to crack people is to make them realize that transitioning is a desirable and realistic goal for them, that all the struggles are worth it, that they’re a fight for a better, more dignified and more fulfilling life. And you can’t do that by just saying “hey btw you’re very obviously trans”.