read right as polite, because they get offended easily.
Iām a male nurse in a predominantly female unit.
How I see a job: Iām there to work and go home and donāt want to socialize. Each of my coworkers is welcomed to talk about work with me, but I donāt disclose my personal life, age or life goals with them. Work and let me work. If you need help, call me, weāll work together.
How my unit works: there is a group thatās childish and gossipy, donāt know boundaries and act like a clique, but maybe 50% of the unit are people that work and let me work, help me and I help them (with the gossip clique this is not always the case).
I was sick for 4 weeks and Iāve decided this is a good opportunity to establish boundaries, something Iāve never done at my current unit. Why now? Being sick I had time to think what I donāt want in my life: faking interest in the sexual life or my coworkers, knowing who started dating who or what they think of Biden or the second amendment aināt things I care about. Iāve had a coworker trying to find me a girlfriend a week after knowing me. No thanks.
Iām entertaining other job prospects and I still donāt know if Iām gonna jump ship, so for the time being, Iām here. Where I work Iām forced to eat with the rest of the team, including the gossips, so Iām trapped (because if I donāt eat with them theyāll start asking why Iām so unfriendly or if Iām angry at them and feel offended, they simply cannot understand that sometimes I want time to unwind without them).
What I think I could tell them, next time they start with their inquisitive questions:
āIāve worked here for a year already. It should be clear by now that Iām not a talkative person. This is a question I donāt want to answer. And I hope that you respect that.ā
āthat I donāt talk doesnāt mean I hate you, it means I have nothing to sayā < I find it ludicrous even having to explain this.
āI donāt see what that has to do with the jobā
āI donāt talk about religion, politics or my private life with coworkers and I hope you respect thatā
should they keep pestering:
āall right, I need time to unwind, which means today Iāll spend my pause somewhere else.ā and proceed to eat alone somewhere else.
And if they pester yet again:
āleave me aloneā
if by this point some of them start giving me the evil eye and afterwards start ignoring me or treat me differently, time to accelerate my transfer to another unit.
If you like keeping boundaries with your coworkers, what do you tell them that works?
I can tell you that what works for me is to be polite but distant. Iāll say āgood morning!ā to my coworkers and āhave a good night!ā At the end of the shift. Iāll be helpful when needed, and Iāll do my best to work well with others.
However, Iāll keep an āoutā handy for when people get gossipy or nosy. Iāll bring a book along to read during breaks and at lunch, or Iāll keep something work-related in my hands when Iām around a group of coworkers, as an indicator to the group that Iām not wanting to chat.
Iāve also gotten good at turning conversation back around on really chatty, insistent people. āNo, I donāt have a favorite color. Whatās yours?ā āYes, I do think that patient looks like Elvis, are you a fan of his?ā āNo, I donāt have a dog. Do you?ā Basically, be really boring with your answers, but let them keep talking about themselves, as theyāre likely tire themselves out eventually. Works if you can stand it, and if you can do your job with a coworker talking at you for an hour. Last resort, and all that.
Of the examples youāve given as responses, I think the only one that doesnāt make you come across as dickish is the one stating that you donāt want to talk about religion or politics, and even then, you sound like an asshole when you state this.
Instead of āāIāve worked here for a year already. It should be clear by now that Iām not a talkative person. This is a question I donāt want to answer. And I hope that you respect that.āā, you could say something like āI donāt feel comfortable talking about thisā. Itās shorter and way less aggressive, and people are more likely to listen to you when youāre not all up in their face over a question, you know?
āāthat I donāt talk doesnāt mean I hate you, it means I have nothing to sayāā For the record, I also think itās ludicrous that you feel you have to say this. Maybe you could word it a little differently though, something like āI donāt mean for you to take it personally, Iām just a private person, and prefer to keep my home life at homeā
āāI donāt see what that has to do with the jobāā could be āNot to be a buzzkill, but mind if we keep this conversation on work?ā
I already do this, but to some where I work, itās not enough.
the rest of your sentences are worth a try.