I regrettably was put through the christian “school system” in the 90’s-early 00’s. It was shit. I spent my first couple years in college having to learn some basics and unlearn a lot of bullshit. Being neurodivergent (ADHD) I got put into their special ed programming, which mostly consisted of getting tracked to low paying service work and stuck in a study hall where the alleged SpEd teachers just sneared at us delinquent kids. Anyway, in highschool you have christian classes including Bible studies, and Christian ethics. First one is true to the name, studying the text, but the second was nothing short of conservative bigot indoctrination. I can’t stress enough how much this shit was just cult brainwashing, but that’s not the point of why I’m sharing this.

I had a dream yesterday where I remembered one of the segments. The teacher showed us a Calvin Klein ad poster and explained why it was so bad. You see, this feminine looking model here is actually a man!! Basically, every model was “not really” the gender they presented as. ‘Be careful what you expose your eyes to so Satan doesn’t work his way into your head’ or whatever the lesson was. I remember having this learned response of “oh no, bad thing!”, but not understanding what the actual problem was. I also looked closer at the picture and still didn’t understand, they looked nice… Of course I know now that he was just being a transphobic bigot, but there was no language for it, they would just call it “the work of the devil” or some shit like that. I didn’t know what to call people like that.

I just feel gross, they deprived me of language for so damn long. The whole system is a cult, and they kept me so isolated and uneducated I didn’t know who I was till I was in my 30’s. God damn America, that’s in the Bible!