UPDATE: The transphobe Ada has been defending says they misgender all trans women/NBs on Blahaj who are strangers - Blåhaj Lemmy
lemmy.blahaj.zone
Further information on the situation with the transphobia: Abigail has repeatedly misgendered me and defended her choice by saying she chooses to refer to all people of unknown gender as male. > Hey, Abigail here. I just want people to know the reason this person got banned is likely because of a deleted comment not included in that thread. OP called me ~~autistic ~~ mentally unwell for not liking politics. THAT kind of behavior is not acceptable on lemmy.blahaj.zone, so I reported the comment and let Ada handle it. Ada tried in good faith to reason with OP but it was clear they just wanted to fight. So yeah, they got banned. Ada’s a fantastic lady who’s been great at keeping the trolls at bay. > Edit: and the bit about me misgendering them is also wrong. Gender didn’t come into play until after I had left the conversation. English default on the internet is male for strangers. Source: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669] WRT the statement that I accused them of autism for not liking politics, further info is available here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669] https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815] https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026 [https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026]
    • Harrison [He/Him]@ttrpg.networkEnglish
      12·
      1 year ago

      Personality disorders are divergences from normal patterns of thought and behaviour. In plenty of cases, they are caused by physical differences in the brain.
      They are definitionally neurodivergance, and become disability when the resulting behaviours impact an individual’s ability to function normally in society.

        • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.eeOPEnglish
          7·
          1 year ago

          Well, you said that the word narcissist is useful because it helps people identify abusive parents. Which would imply you think there’s some connection between being an abuser and having NPD. So the fact that you think a mental disorder is responsible for abuse is an example of that systemic, oppressive otherization that we narcissists experience. I was told by a former friend that I don’t deserve to live, because narcissists don’t have a shred of humanity. Is that not oppressive otherisation to you?

        • Harrison [He/Him]@ttrpg.networkEnglish
          3·
          1 year ago

          I agree that it’s not desirable to conflate the two in common usage, but I don’t really see how that can be done while continuing to use those specific terms.

          What constitutes toxic behaviour is culturally subjective. Many people in the first group would have been considered a part of the second not so long ago.

    • HornyOnMain [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      3·
      1 year ago

      In this case narcissist is being used as a general insult for someone where we have no indication whether she’s a narcissist or not.

      we don’t ban the word because it could have general use for someone who’s actually a narcissist in the same way we don’t ban the word schizophrenic except when it’s used as an insult

    • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.eeOPEnglish
      1·
      1 year ago

      I find the claim that you used to have a personality disorder dubious, unless you’re saying it like Mitch Hedburg said he used to do drugs. Personality disorders are incurable and lifelong. Symptoms are often mitigated with therapy and age, but those are the result of learning to live with a disability, not curing it.

      Could you say what personality disorder you used to have?

        • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.eeOPEnglish
          2·
          1 year ago

          Here are the top 4 google results for “Can BPD be cured?”:

          bridgestorecovery.com/borderline-personality-disorder/can-bpd-be-cured/#:~:text=Borderline personality disorder (BPD) cannot,in intensity%2C or entirely eliminated.

          Borderline personality disorder (BPD) cannot be cured, and anyone who enters treatment looking for a quick and easy fix is bound to be disappointed. However, with treatment the symptoms of BPD can be effectively managed, monitored, and ultimately reduced in intensity, or entirely eliminated.

          https://www.verywellmind.com/is-there-a-cure-for-borderline-personality-disorder-425468

          While there is no definitive cure for BPD, it is absolutely treatable.1 Lenzenweger MF, Lane MC, Loranger AW, Kessler RC. DSM-IV personality disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Biol Psychiatry. 2007;62(6):553-564. doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2006.09.019 In fact, with the right treatment approach, you can be well on the road to recovery and remission.

          While remission and recovery are not necessarily a “cure,” both constitute the successful treatment of BPD.

          https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4500179/

          Research during the past 2 decades has clearly demonstrated that BPD has a positive trajectory over time. Although it is a disorder associated with many psychiatric and medical comorbidities, many of the most troubling symptoms remit during the first few years. Unfortunately, several of the underlying personality traits remain for longer periods, and these are the elements of the disorder that may not be fully addressed by current treatments.

          https://embarkbh.com/blog/borderline-personality-disorder/ask-a-therapist-can-bpd-be-cured/

          While BPD can’t be cured and won’t go away, Gatlin said the prognosis can be good for those who are going to therapy and taking medication, if needed, to manage their symptoms. She noted that a key milestone is when a young adult reaches their mid to late 20s, as that’s when the brain finishes developing. Once that process is complete, your son or daughter can better navigate their mental health.

          Look at it this way: Imagine your leg was amputated and you had to get a prosthetic. With time, and physical therapy, and a leg that matches your needs, you’ll eventually be able to walk, run, and jump again. But you’ll always rely on the prosthetic leg, and there are some things you’ll never be able to do. You might have a leg that’s better for soccer and a leg that’s better for sprinting, and you’ll need to switch legs to keep up with two-legged athletes. And you might end up surpassing two-legged athletes at some things. It’s still a disability, you’re still disabled, but it’s effectively treated. My NPD and your BPD are like that missing leg. We have tools to solve our problems, and we can get really good at using them, but the fact we still need them means we’re still disabled. And at the end of the day, no amount of skill is going to help us if a fully abled person decides that today they hate “cripples”, or they hate “borderlines”, or they hate “narcs”.

            • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.eeOPEnglish
              1·
              1 year ago

              Now that we’ve exhausted the subject of “Is NPD curable”, let’s focus on your original claims You said you didn’t buy that personality disorders are neurodivergence, because they’re curable. The two most commonly discussed neurodivergences are ADHD and ASD. Can ADHD and ASD people learn coping mechanisms the same as personality disorders that reduce the symptoms and make them harder to diagnose? Yes, 100%. I have seen testimony after testimony from autistic adults whose psychiatrists said it was hard to diagnose them because they learned masking. Narcissists and borderlines learn masking too, and that’s how we’re “cured”. So what’s the difference making NPD not neurodiverse to you?

                • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.eeOPEnglish
                  3·
                  1 year ago

                  Well, since you don’t know much about autism, I’ll tell you about mine:

                  • I struggled with social skills when I was younger, but once I had a diagnosis I spent a lot of time learning them and now I have the moves to execute them, so long as I conform to neurotypical ideology.
                  • Processing sensory stimuli takes effort for me. If there’s more going on than I can safely process, my ability to perceive, think, and function will degrade. This includes noises, lights, textures, conversations, and noticing things around me.
                  • I can protect myself by erecting sensory barriers that exclude certain stimuli from my perception, but they take work to maintain and they aren’t perfect, and they can lead to not seeing important things (which is dangerous when driving a car).
                  • I can create a fascilime of a neurotypical person for people to empathise with, connect to, and socialise with. But when it comes to sensing my genuine feelings, neurotypicals are simply less able.
                  • I cannot understand certain patterns of neurotypical thought. I can mimic them perfectly, but I can’t think them. Whether to blindly copy others is a choice.
                  • Neurotypicals struggle greatly to understand my patterns of thought, unless they have a great deal of patience.

                  As an autistic person with NPD, I can tell you from direct experience they’re very similar in terms of how they influence my relationship with society. Autistic people struggle to understand my narcissism, narcissistic people struggle to understand my autism, neurotypical people struggle to understand everything about me, and I get along great with other autistic narcissists, of which there are not many.

      • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        14·
        1 year ago

        I find the claim that you used to have a personality disorder dubious,

        I find your faith in DSM categorizations misplaced. There are lots of places where the DSM fails to have any sort of mechanistic idea of what it labels a disorder (just a diagnostic one) and thereby no real ability to say whether it is curable or not.