cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/14816537

Iā€™m 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes Iā€™m in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).

I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why donā€™t you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.

The way these women asked was accusatory, like Iā€™m a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: Iā€™m 25, leave me alone.

Since that bad experience Iā€™ve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe Iā€™m 25 because as said I look like it, donā€™t pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they donā€™t push my buttons because I donā€™t give them any ammunition. Itā€™s tolerable.

Note that I didnā€™t lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them Iā€™m 25 and they didnā€™t question it.

Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I donā€™t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I donā€™t know if Iā€™d get better assignments if Iā€™m sincere about my age (Iā€™d like that, but is it realistic?). I just donā€™t want to get to 65 with a broken back. I donā€™t want drama either, just to work and go home.

I lie to protect myself.

If I need to change this, why and how?

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6Ā·
    6 months ago

    Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I donā€™t lift heavy patients like a 25 year old

    Donā€™t worry, 25 year olds now donā€™t have the body of 25 year olds from when you were 25. In my experience theyā€™re either very fit gym rats (the minority), or a bit pudgy and weak from a lifetime spent online.

    I have a peer who I think is probably 40, but when I asked his age he flatly stated ā€œI donā€™t tell people my age, it leads to judgment and preconceptionsā€. I respected his decision. You could always roll with something like that if you feel uncomfortable lying.