cross-posted from: https://programming.dev/post/14816537
Iām 43 years old but apparently I have a baby face, good hair for my age and everyone believes Iām in my mid 20s, even though I already have some gray hairs nobody seems to notice (so far).
I started the lie: first time I started my last job at a hospital immediately after my bachelor and told my new coworkers my real age (38 at the time) they started judging me: why are you not married, why donāt you have children, what have you done in the last 20 years.
The way these women asked was accusatory, like Iām a failure for being almost 40 and not having children or being single. At that moment I decided next time somebody at the workplace asks me for my age, to blatantly and shamelessly lie: Iām 25, leave me alone.
Since that bad experience Iāve worked at 2 other hospitals and my lie has always helped: patients and coworkers believe Iām 25 because as said I look like it, donāt pester me about children or marriage and while my current coworkers are gossips and need drama to live, they donāt push my buttons because I donāt give them any ammunition. Itās tolerable.
Note that I didnāt lie in my application and accounting and management at my workplace know very well my real age, but my coworkers and direct manager are oblivious to it: On my first day I just told them Iām 25 and they didnāt question it.
Now, I have the body of a 43 year old, meaning I donāt lift heavy patients like a 25 year old and sometimes I come home with back pain. I donāt know if Iād get better assignments if Iām sincere about my age (Iād like that, but is it realistic?). I just donāt want to get to 65 with a broken back. I donāt want drama either, just to work and go home.
I lie to protect myself.
If I need to change this, why and how?
I donāt understand why you have to answer at all when someone asks your age, but find it hilarious that you just keep resetting to 25 every year. How do they keep believing it? Do you change jobs every year? Why do you care if someone judges your lifestyle if itās what you want?
You arenāt going to break doing heavy lifting at 43. If you feel itās damaging you, thatās separate from your age.
This whole question is so funny - I do think people see what they expect, not what is. I had 2 kids when young then 2 more when older, and it was so funny - people who only saw me with my younger set thought I was much younger than I am. People who knew me from the first set thought I was about my age. People who saw me with all of them thought I was a grandma and older than I am.
what would be your answer, when you donāt want to disclose it?
A gentleman never discloses his age or his lovers!
Or if you are feeling rude, ask them why they think itās their business, or just say you donāt mix work and your personal life.