I want Jimmy Kimmel to hire the animators from the animation he played when Trump left the white house and make a clip of the statue of Liberty clap along to a parody song.

Everyone do the Pelosi Clap!

Clap Clap!

Clap Clap!

I want Stephen Colbert to come out dancing with drag queens in pant suits and bad wigs to clap and get the audience involved so they clap out of tune.

I wanna see Pete Buttigieg’s high hopes as he lets another train derail.

I want Joe Brandon to make a cameo as he looks dead-eyed into the camera and makes a gaffe.

And I wish for all of this to be performed without a hint of irony on-screen.

I wish for this without irony.