• 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    89
    ·
    7 months ago

    I’d pick wolf. They generally leave you alone and don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t know shit about gorillas

    • IndiBrony@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      46
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      7 months ago

      Gorillas will tear off your face and testicles AFAIK. Just imagine the depraved shit a human would do to you assuming they could get away with it without repercussion.

      They wouldn’t hesitate to fuck you up.

      • BakerBagel@midwest.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        48
        ·
        7 months ago

        Gorillas are WAY more chill than chimpanzees. Just dint make eye contact and be respectful to the gorilla and it will leave you alone. They know that they are capable of fucking you up, and they know you know.

      • GluWu@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        7 months ago

        We should do the opposite of Noah’s arc where we put 2 of every animal, including humans, in the Houston Astrodome and have them fight to the death until one emerges.

        • FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          7 months ago

          Do we all get prep time. And can animals who are capable of making them get tools, or do we have to make tools ourselves

    • Skeezix@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      He didnt say forest. He said Forrest, as in Gump. Maybe Forrest gets smaller as he gets old.

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    ·
    7 months ago

    Wolf. Wolves are naturally shy of humans, and while gorillas are also, gorillas are also much bigger and stronger. If one decides it’s mad at you it will pull your limbs off. Or worse. A wolf will try to rip you apart and tear your throat out if it’s mad at you, but since it’s in a different weight class you might actually stand a chance if you curl up in the fetal position or whack it in the face with a rock.

  • frickineh@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    37
    ·
    7 months ago

    Gorilla? I feel like being super submissive and not making eye contact would probably keep it from tearing off my arms to use as drumsticks? I’m not a gorilla expert though, so anyone who knows more can feel free to tell me. Although I guess with a wolf, you could just climb a tree and be ok, depending on how long you have to stay. Either, I guess. I’m pretty convinced that I’ll die trying to pet a wild animal when the moron part of my brain tells me it’s friend-shaped, anyway, so whatever.

    • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      You’re not completely wrong, but if safety is your concern then you should really be operating under the assumption that the animal will attack you. In that case you’ve chosen a 200 kg gorilla who can climb over a 40 kg wolf who can’t. Bears are actually the heavier of the three depending on race and gender, and some of them can climb while others cannot.

        • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          For real, but Grizzlies are the second worst outcome you could end up with in the bear category.

            • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              7 months ago

              If you encounter a black bear, make yourself big and threatening. If attacked, fight back.

              If you encounter a brown bear, stay facing it but avoid eye contact and back away slowly. If attacked, play dead.

              If you encounter a polar bear, pray for a quick death.

  • Blackmist@feddit.uk
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago

    Wolf attacks on humans are rare but common enough to have their own Wikipedia page, but there’s no record of wild gorillas killing anyone.

    Which means they’re either super chill, or really fucking sneaky about it.

    • Sylvartas@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      7 months ago

      IIRC gorillas are indeed pretty chill if you respect their territorial instincts, as opposed to, say, a chimp that might try to kill you more or less on a whim

      • sparkle@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        for some reason i find it funny how the animals more related to humans are the more ruthlessly violent ones. apparently bonobos are much more violent than chimps, and orangutans are less violent than gorillas

        it makes me wonder how aggressive early australopithecus was compared. apparently they did a lot of cannibalism so probably at least slightly more than non-australopithecus humans. they probably weren’t even close to as aggressive as chimpanzees considering how significantly weaker they were though

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    7 months ago

    I’m going Wolf personally. I might have a chance with a wolf, gorillas are stupid strong. No thanks.

  • dumbass@leminal.space
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    7 months ago

    Wolf for sure, you can bribe a wolf a lot easier than a gorilla, you move in a way that gorilla doesn’t like and you dead.

    • phorq@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      Español
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      7 months ago

      Isn’t that that survivalist dude that drinks piss? Bear Grilf?

      • MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        It could be, he’s a master of any environment, and I couldn’t ask for a better companion to be alone with in the forest.

    • gmtom@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      7 months ago

      I considered making the other side of the bracket, but figrured the posts would get annoying fast.

      Also wolves and bears are cuddly??