You’re definitely not alone with this. I hear takes like yours a lot from neurodivergent trans people and many of them specifically go for the agender label because it’s what makes the most sense to them.
It’s not how i view this stuff, i could write an entire effortpost about what being a lesbian means to me or how i’m both nonbinary and a trans woman, or how meaningless bodies are in regards to gender once you’ve had decidedly lesbian sex with a pre-transition trans woman who’s more feminine than every cis woman i’ve ever been with, but i don’t have the time for that today and i think is a perfectly reasonable and valid approach to this whole gender stuff, and i’m not gonna debate that.
Is it agender tho if you change ur body via sex hormones that seems weird but I guess maybe it’s not incompatible? I also kinda like ‘she/her’ pronouns though, so Idek.
If you did I would read it :) I guess “lesbian” could always just mean funny and different things to me, right? I mean, it means something slightly different to everybody anyway, so why not completely bust it and use it differently to how it’s culturally conceived? I guess I can just appropriate this term and use it for all of the feminine (and occasionally masc) non-dudes that I am into, I mean why the fuck not right? I suppose this is why people tend to flex and bend words so often, they are just words after all.
how meaningless bodies are in regards to gender once you’ve had decidedly lesbian sex with a pre-transition trans woman who’s more feminine than every cis woman i’ve ever been with,
Love this for you, excellent stuff ❤ and yeah fr. It’s a little easier to square the sexual/romantic end of this, at least. Surely if you decouple gender labels from body types though, (which we do) all gender labels suddenly become borderline meaningless right?
Is it agender tho if you change ur body via sex hormones
Yeah, it’s best to follow Feinberg Thought and clearly seperate biology, gender as a social performance and gender identity as an internal, psychological structure. How you feel in your body and how and if you transition is independent from your gender identity. There can be an interaction between these, like things that give me dysphoria feel clearly incongruent from how i feel my body should be, they violate my sense of self - but i wasn’t less of a woman when i could still grow a beard or before my boobs started growing, and getting bottom surgery will not make me more of a woman, it will just mean that i get rid of things that feel like foreign objects and cause me psychic damage. But that doesn’t say anything about my gender identiy, people with a more binary understanding of gender do the same things as me when it comes to transitioning and people who would not use the term woman for themselves also do.
Mhm, that was what I thought as soon as I hit “reply”, just some leftover brainrot is all, mb. Transition independent from gender identity (for me, have always separated the two when it come to other people) is slightly new to me. The rest of this does scan easily to me though.
Is it agender tho if you change ur body via sex hormones
Gender isn’t your hormones, so I don’t see any reason why the two would be incompatible (if they are, I guess me and a lot of others are doing something wrong). Some cis men take estrogen because they prefer having a more feminine body, but like being men, for example. I’ve seen other agender people who also have used cross-natal-sex hormones.
Also, there’s labels like librafem, which is considered part of the agender spectrum and demigirl which can be part girl part agender (or other NB gender). Not particularly a fan of micro-labels myself because of how useless they are outside of niche communities (like, say an agender subreddit), but I do like learning of the different ways people try to describe themselves.
I think I would genuinely rather have labels that are useful and structurally sound but obscure, rather than squeezing my being into a silly box that people can recognise. Maybe people who cannot grasp it simply do not deserve to know…
Fair. I rather just use generic umbrella terms for the and maybe append “-spec” to the end to make it clearer I’m using it as an umbrella term. Partly because uncertainty, but partly because a bigger umbrella gives more wiggle room to move around. But like, I could also just say something like “transfem agender” to communicate the same idea as “librafem”, but one more people can sorta guess the meaning from the two words that make it up (even if they think its somehow a contradiction) and the other might make people think I’m a fem who is really into astrology.
You’re definitely not alone with this. I hear takes like yours a lot from neurodivergent trans people and many of them specifically go for the agender label because it’s what makes the most sense to them.
It’s not how i view this stuff, i could write an entire effortpost about what being a lesbian means to me or how i’m both nonbinary and a trans woman, or how meaningless bodies are in regards to gender once you’ve had decidedly lesbian sex with a pre-transition trans woman who’s more feminine than every cis woman i’ve ever been with, but i don’t have the time for that today and i think
is a perfectly reasonable and valid approach to this whole gender stuff, and i’m not gonna debate that.
Is it agender tho if you change ur body via sex hormones
that seems weird but I guess maybe it’s not incompatible? I also kinda like ‘she/her’ pronouns though, so Idek.
If you did I would read it :) I guess “lesbian” could always just mean funny and different things to me, right? I mean, it means something slightly different to everybody anyway, so why not completely bust it and use it differently to how it’s culturally conceived? I guess I can just appropriate this term and use it for all of the feminine (and occasionally masc) non-dudes that I am into, I mean why the fuck not right? I suppose this is why people tend to flex and bend words so often, they are just words after all.
Love this for you, excellent stuff ❤ and yeah fr. It’s a little easier to square the sexual/romantic end of this, at least. Surely if you decouple gender labels from body types though, (which we do) all gender labels suddenly become borderline meaningless right?
Yeah, it’s best to follow Feinberg Thought and clearly seperate biology, gender as a social performance and gender identity as an internal, psychological structure. How you feel in your body and how and if you transition is independent from your gender identity. There can be an interaction between these, like things that give me dysphoria feel clearly incongruent from how i feel my body should be, they violate my sense of self - but i wasn’t less of a woman when i could still grow a beard or before my boobs started growing, and getting bottom surgery will not make me more of a woman, it will just mean that i get rid of things that feel like foreign objects and cause me psychic damage. But that doesn’t say anything about my gender identiy, people with a more binary understanding of gender do the same things as me when it comes to transitioning and people who would not use the term woman for themselves also do.
Mhm, that was what I thought as soon as I hit “reply”, just some leftover brainrot is all, mb. Transition independent from gender identity (for me, have always separated the two when it come to other people) is slightly new to me. The rest of this does scan easily to me though.
Gender isn’t your hormones, so I don’t see any reason why the two would be incompatible (if they are, I guess me and a lot of others are doing something wrong). Some cis men take estrogen because they prefer having a more feminine body, but like being men, for example. I’ve seen other agender people who also have used cross-natal-sex hormones.
Also, there’s labels like librafem, which is considered part of the agender spectrum and demigirl which can be part girl part agender (or other NB gender). Not particularly a fan of micro-labels myself because of how useless they are outside of niche communities (like, say an agender subreddit), but I do like learning of the different ways people try to describe themselves.
Yea,
I think I would genuinely rather have labels that are useful and structurally sound but obscure, rather than squeezing my being into a silly box that people can recognise. Maybe people who cannot grasp it simply do not deserve to know…
Fair. I rather just use generic umbrella terms for the and maybe append “-spec” to the end to make it clearer I’m using it as an umbrella term. Partly because uncertainty, but partly because a bigger umbrella gives more wiggle room to move around. But like, I could also just say something like “transfem agender” to communicate the same idea as “librafem”, but one more people can sorta guess the meaning from the two words that make it up (even if they think its somehow a contradiction) and the other might make people think I’m a fem who is really into astrology.