• boobs_@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    9 months ago

    I’m slowly learning to be less hard on myself about it. My friends tell me I sabotage myself by trying too hard due to some not great beliefs about myself (that each “failure” in dating then serves to reinforce) so I’m trying to take their advice, scale that back, and just focus on making new friends for now. I’ll have to see how it goes for my mental health and I’m turn ability to not self sabotage over time but it feels like a better approach than my previous obsessively browsing 5 different apps for hours a day desperate for a match at least

      • boobs_@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        edit-2
        8 months ago

        I’m just shelving online dating entirely for now. In months of obsessive swiping, it didn’t really go anywhere and overall just made me feel worse. At the very least meeting and making friends in person will have positives that online dating or online friending don’t have because dating apps are honestly kind of toxic to actually meeting people even if trying to do it for friends. I just didn’t know what else to try because I didn’t know how else to meet people but I found some options now.

        • EmtptyAspargus@lemmynsfw.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          8 months ago

          Sounds like you’re on a good path. Good luck to you!

          For me just enjoying my hobbies did the trick. You get to know a lot of like minded people that way. Not necessarily dating partners, but thats also the point.