I never thought I’d have to deal with this, but here we are. It’s not common sense that racism is shameful and bad.
I teach a group of fourteen-year-olds who still think dropping the n-word is funny, but I can deal with those situations and made it pretty clear to them that if I ever hear it (or anything similar) in my classroom, they will have earned a ticket to the principal’s office and I will be talking to their parents.
However, there is a more complex situation that has been occupying my mind lately and I would appreciate your thoughts and advice.
A kid turned up to my class wearing ladder laced boots with white laces. (For those who don’t know, this means the person is a white supremacist, lace colour was/is used to showcase identity and can differ from place to place) It caught my eye when I heard her asking a friend if her laces were visible enough the way she folded the cargo pants she was wearing. I asked her if she was aware of the meaning of white laces and she said yes, but added that according to her skinhead friend, lace code was no longer taken seriously. I told her that while that is true, you can still get in a lot of trouble in certain places and that I do not want to see it on her again.
I also mentioned it to another teacher who immediately went and talked to her about it, but I feel like she is going to keep wearing the laces as a fuck you.
She wants to be cool and edgy, but she has no idea what shaky ground she’s on. She often makes racist remarks, but nothing that could get her into trouble so far.
I will stand my ground and speak to the principal about this if she continues wearing the laces, but very very few people know about their meaning so it’s not taken as seriously as if she wore a swastika or something similar. Still, I told her that if I know (and I’m not in those circles) then someone else will, too.
The bigger question here is sensitization, how I could not just enforce not showcasing racism symbols as a part of her outfit but to get through to her and the others who might think they are cool and edgy.
Thank you for reading!
As a fellow teacher, you are going about this the wrong way. Your student sounds like the type who’ll keep escalating if you keep escalating, particularly over something that there’s no school rule against it. This escalation might spill over into other areas and damage your relation with other kids.
Here’s my advice:
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Stop thinking of her as a kid/student and think of her as a fallible human. You can’t “save” her by treating her as an inferior or by acting dominant. She will just turtle down and probably get worse out of reaction. 9/10 times, these kids are seeking attention, and that’s the only way they feel they can get it. You need to show her she can have your attention via other means. Some empathy and patience goes a long way.
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Accept that your efforts might not succeed. Desperation that you are not doing enough will not just make you feel guilty/depressed, it will also backfire on your attempts to teach her to be a better human. Do the best you can, and hope it works. If it doesn’t, you tried. Keep in mind that what you do might not have an immediate effect, but might actually help her stop being a racist years later.
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Remember you are not the only influence in her life. You should investigate quietly where her racism is stemming from. Usually it comes from parents or other friends. Understanding the source will help you better in helping.
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Don’t tell her to not be racist. Show her how and why she shouldn’t be a racist. Try to involve her in activities that bring her into contact with people who she’s racist against.
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Set a good example to be followed. People desire happiness and acceptance. Show her, in a positive way, that it’s easier to be happy and accepted by not being a racist, rather than being one.
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This is the most important bit: just sit down and talk with her. Not about racism, but about life. Make a connection, so she can be more open with you and more accepting of your advice. Kids respond really well when you show them some rudimentary respect and treat them like grown-ups. They become even more responsive when you prove that you can be dependable for them.
Fixing the behaviour of kids is a lot like treating drug addicts. You won’t achieve anything long-term with anger, dominance and punishment.
This is really well written, thank you! I teach lower elementary but this is like the universal playbook for problem behavior.
No problem. Thank you for your kind words!
Also, if you allow me to pick your brain with another question: How would you react to a student using the n-word or a similar, generally recognised expression, especially with people of that group present?
I would go serious to show that it’s not funny, but also calm to prevent defensiveness.
I would then pick apart why they said it. Asking “why did you feel the need to say that?”, and then explaining how that makes ME feel about it, is a great starting point. For any sort of disruptive behaviour the best approach (in my opinion) is to be a mirror so they can see themselves through your eyes.
Example:
Teacher: why did you feel the need to say that?
Student: I dont know
T: did you find it funny?
S: I dont know, maybe. Other people say it too
(at this point don’t do the adult argument of “what other people do shouldnt concern you”)
T: well, I dont know how other students here feel about it, but personally I am disappointed in you. I thought better of you, and I would like to respect you, but right now I can not. It’s a word that has a very negative history, and I’d suggest you learn more about it, before using it so lightly next time.
I would also engage the students who are most affected by it and ask them to express how they feel about it.
Another good tactic is to turn it back on the perpetrator and ask them how they would feel if someone used so freely a term they found offensive.
Thank you, this is a really reasonable reply and leaves no space for jokes.
You might benefit from Restorative Justice practices. https://www.iirp.edu/school-resources/guides-for-implementation
There are many RJ practices out there. The general schema is to involve all parties when harm is committed to collectively address or seek to heal from the harm. Your student might benefit from empathetic writing prompts.
“I said _____. It made me feel _____. I think others would feel ____.”
That’s a really useful link. Thanks for sharing it!
For point 4, ask the adults supervising those activities if it’s ok for you to bring her and explain the situation (especially if the adults are of the same group she is racist toward). You wouldn’t want her presence/behavior to be harmful to others. I can imagine some volunteer opportunities where they are required to wear coveralls or PPE or other boots would help too.
But all in all amazing comment. Especially point 5, an approach I need to implement better with my students as well.
Thank you for your comment! First of all, it’s all great advice and I’ll try my best to apply it in my practice.
They are a great group of intelligent kids and we often have adult discussions, I always make space for their interests and questions and nothing is taboo, we often talk about current events, politics, etc. They like me, as far as I’m concerned. Unfortunately, I don’t spend that much time with them, I only work at the school two days a week and have no means of organising any events or lectures myself.
I think her feeling is stemming from her interest in her origin, as she grew up in Germany and showed lots of interest in history, but I feel like she went off track somewhere around December or January. She also mentioned having skinhead friends at one point. How do you think I could learn more about this?
I am not one for punishment and never used any dominance or anger, I try to be very approachable and ask for feedback on my lessons from kids and parents, but I feel like this might be where I draw the line. There are lots of minority POC kids in our school and general area, I want them to feel safe, so I would really like to be firm with not allowing the above mentioned display of racism. At the same time, I want her to really understand and become a better person from this experience, so I’m really at loss about how I could achieve this.
From your original post it sounded to me like you were being assertive towards her, so sorry if I misunderstood.
For the skinhead friend: I’d suggest you ask common friends during a break privately. Approaching the ones that also seem concerned might be the best course of action.
Having discussions in class is great, but try to engage her in dialogue. Take a seat and let them take charge of the discussion. Just moderate to keep things civil, calm and in the realm of logic rather than emotions. Keep calm and try to be/seem open to her ideas and ask questions. Sometimes people just need a wall to bounce their thoughts on so they can actually process them.
If this change is as recent as you say then it might just be a phase as she is thinking things through. Give her time and opportunity to do that.
I’d also suggest you let her explore other aspects of her German origins. There’s no great examples to be positive about people of African descent in German history, but still, she might get interested/distracted by other parts of German history.
I made it very clear that she should not wear white laces again, but other than that I tried my best to explain why.
I’m willing to give her the time to figure things out and ask for guidance if needed, but this was unacceptable in my eyes.
As for her origin, I don’t believe she’s German herself, just lived there for a while. But encouraging her to explore other parts of the culture might be worth a shot. Thank you again!
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Unfortunately, the only working solution for any unawareness and insensitivity, where racism or homophobia (etc.) are the prime extreme examples is… Education.
To make it worse, the person on the other side has to be willing to ingest and incorporate it into their newly forming worldview.
Fighting or brute forcing it can make the situation worse, especially during more rebellious years and can have a serious long term destructive fallout.
It would be easier to fully grasp the situation with some basic knowledge about your whereabouts, at least country — from the story, I am assuming somewhere in the United States.
I’ve never heard about the shoelaces thing and from a distant perspective I see it as totally crazy thing — both ways. Anyone should wear anything they feel like wearing without any burden, considering the basic social norms, I would like to recall here the protest about red underwear where women were fighting with an (idiotic) idea and presumption that red underwear means “down to fuck” or even “invitation to rape”.
I don’t have any great answers but I have a story from my teens.
There was a situation at my school where some of my classmates were making fun of one guy crying, obviously some classics were dropped “don’t be a baby / pussy” and so on. I was lucky because I had good interactions with most of the teachers, especially when it boiled down to dropping some ideas or organizing things. Even luckier, the school counselor was my previous teacher and liked me enough to invite me from time to time, asking questions if I see any bullying, stealing or what surprised me the most, why and which teachers were mostly disliked by my class and other classes. Once, I told her about the situation mentioned before and how nobody reacted and how unfair it all felt. She noted everything and promised me to do something about it and really delivered on that promise. She managed to organize some special obligatory classes about expressing emotions, bullying and different types of violence.
It didn’t stop everything dysfunctional but made a tiny difference. Especially when it came to reacting during situations like that.
We need many, many tiny differences to grow / learn / evolve.
Constantly.
Thank you for being a Teacher, you seem invested and it feels like you actually care — don’t cross anyone out, every kid that causes more problems than others, is near being expelled or punished for their behavior, is the one that actually needs some kind of guidance and mentoring the most.
Thank you, this is great advice. I am not from the US but rather an Eastern European country with lots of POC in my area - in fact, our sister school has about 90% POC.
I also believe that everybody should wear whatever they want and make it a point to encourage my young students’ discovery of their unique style - lots of funky hair colours and split brows these days. However, lace code IS a thing (even if not very well recognised anymore, it’s still used in many places) and she knew about it when she chose to wear the white laces, which is what bothers me here. If it was ignorance, I’d give her a heads up to avoid her getting into real trouble because of her choice of footwear but she did it knowing what it means and even made it a point for them to be fully visible.
It is clear to me that I cannot fight fire with fire and I want what’s best for my student’s personal development, but at the same time I feel like I need to be very clear about the fact that no racism will be tolerated in my classroom, just like I wouldn’t tolerate any physical or verbal abuse. Pretty much everything is a go, we have great discussions about different topics and they are a great group of kids, but racism is a very real issue in our area. We do not have any POC in our group but imagine if we had… There are plenty of POC kids in the school and I want them to feel safe more than I want this kid to wear whatever she wants.
Your story highlights how important my reaction is here, and since it’s my first year on the job, I’m really taking it seriously. However, I’m only part time and spend little time with them so I cannot really organise any workshops or lectures, but hopefully our principal will be open to the idea.
How do you think I could approach her in this case? I am generally liked by the students, but I just cannot seem to get through to her.
I will just address this really quickly: I am struggling with giving any advice and the POC term.
Advice, even the best, can misguide or cause harm down the road and POC is just a weird abbreviation for me, mixed / different / multiple races feels fine but POC just pulls some wrong strings in me. That might be a preference or just being picky about english language, but that’s where I stand.
With all that out of the way, let me try to approach the other matters constructively but let’s be honest, it mostly will be just guessing.
So, as you say, there was a conscious intention behind that choice. Someone else in the comments created a very good list to pick from, but my bets will be similar, there is a reason for that choice and most often than not, this reason will be rooted at home environment.
So, first line of approach for me would be understanding her and the background, where that idea even originated from to express something like that in this way? Maybe from parents? Maybe friends? Internet? Maybe she, personally had some unpleasant interaction the other day with someone with a different skin color than hers and that’s her reaction to all that. But, again, going back to the list from that other comment, you might be not able to find out or actually do anything about all that.
Why you can’t get through to her, I will go with some quick guesses because there is no way for me to know.
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This might be a trigger type situation. You might be giving her attention that she doesn’t get at home and it infuriates her to the core, or on the other hand, you can be reminding her of one of her parents in your approach or something like that — you won’t get there now or anytime soon.
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This might be a “spotlight” problem, this situation from her perspective might feel like some interrogation, those situations can quickly turn the fight / flight / freeze response.
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You might be, in her eyes, the enemy, cool kids are too cool to interact with teachers, right? Or maybe you are not cool enough for her to bother even listening to you. Or maybe she just rejected you because you rejected that one thing about her and she feels threatened / unsafe / misunderstood.
…and so on, every minute I can come up with another reason but they all mean nothing, just random, empty guesses. There are plenty of games that we play with each other to avoid the communication.
- Other list said something about respect and treating as equal in conversation — this can get you into many places while talking with kids, teens and young adults, or people in general but it has to be sincere and not forced, and as everything else, has its limits too.
It is really great that you are showing and expressing your boundaries as a teacher, what you accept and like, and what is not tolerated in your classroom, that you try talking and connecting… the tricky part is, this classroom is mostly (besides some lucky exceptions) filled with minds not yet fully aware of what boundary, rule, differences, understanding, decision making, consequences or respect (and so on) even means.
Again, no solutions or any advice, just a story time if you feel like reading it.
One of the coolest teachers I ever knew was helping teens that were stealing or selling drugs, mostly because of drug or alcohol abuse at home, pretty often violence. He helped with returning stolen items, helped repairing them if they got somehow damaged and above all that, with overcoming the shame of admitting guilt or saying sorry; sometimes even with some part-time job seeking or legal issues. But he had all the means and skill to do it and many, many, many years of experience. I don’t know how or why he started doing all that but at the time I’ve met him, he already was a well known solution for many people and “if you fucked up bad, go talk to that guy, he will help you sort that out” was a thing people kept saying about him in their own circles. From what he told me, he got a lot of help in his life and he just repays his debt. Plus he had some crazy captivating stories to tell.
He was always in his classroom talking with someone, reading a book or doing something on his computer. But he just was there and if anyone needed him, he was there.
Thank you for this really extensive comment!!
As for the term POC, I understand how unuseful it is in this situation, so let me clarify: We have a Roma/Romani minority, especially in the part of the country where I live, which causes lots of tension and unfortunately, normalised racism.
I am very young (one time I was stopped on my way to the car and asked where I was going during school time) so I don’t feel like I have authority or that anyone looks up to me, for now at least. Instead, I try to be open with them and make them feel like they can come talk to me about anything, but as I already mentioned, I don’t spend much time with this group of kids and spend only two days in the school myself.
I will definitely think about what options I have here because my ultimate goal is to educate her, and everyone else.
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Coming from the perspective of a former student who dealt with a lot of spoiled white racists: if one of your students punches the other for being racist to them, back up the student who was getting hate speech directed at them. I don’t think teachers can directly fix the problem, but it means a world of a difference to us if we’re supported when we defend ourselves as opposed to punished for it.
I still hate some of my old teachers for their complicity.
It’s time for a classroom screening of “Come and See”
Bully her for being a dumb ass racist.
E holy fuck she’s from Germany, lol. He grandparents probably need to be executed.
/s?
You want a late 20’s-40 year old teacher to bully a 14 year old? There is no way this could go wrong.
Yes I do, racist ideology needs to be treated with contempt not with tolerance.
Say things like “wow you’re a real piece of shit”, " if that’s what you believe then I have no respect for you."
If you really hated racism, you’d simply beat up the child instead of coddling them with mere words. In fact, beating up the kid is a half measure that lets them potentially do racism again in the future. Better to behead the child in class to teach the others a lesson about what is and isn’t appropriate social behavior.
Line them up against the wall like the fascist they are. Show all the other children the consequences of trying to be edgy by demonstrating the effects of execution by anti-aircraft gun.
This is real socialist education.
Realisticly the kid needs to be removed from the source of fash and reeducated, the parents investigated. Of course in our shitsack world that would harm the child immeasurably and we get the very liberal approach. Which is why we have all these goddamn Nazis running around.
It’s a child. You want an adult; a teacher or any person in a position of authority to bully a child. The kid isn’t some KKK grand wizard, they are an attention seeking dickhead.
If that’s what you want to say then I have no respect for you, and I hope you are either young or do not work with children.
Read the comment below from a teacher as to how to deal with teens who want to be edgy or attract attention. You don’t nip this behavior in the bud by acting like an ass. That’s how you get fired, and escalate the behavior by playing right into their hands.
They are seeking attention, from other fash. By wearing Nazi identifies they’re signaling to other Nazis they’re one of them. The kid knows all this per above. Tolerating it even a little is bad. I wouldn’t allow that kid in my class if in saw them wearing that shit after I discovered they knew exactly what they were doing. The parents allowing that is child abuse. This lib shit is why the us is the fash shithole it is.
They are signaling to other Nazis in a… middle school classroom? No, they aren’t signaling anything. They want to provoke a response and get attention from people who are expressly against what they’re showing. It’s a rebellion to authority for them. They’re copying what they think the “cool” kids do, and try it themselves.
Kids are shitheads, the parents could be diehard communists and doing everything they can to prevent this, but teens will always try to rebel and be cool. Nazi salutes, yelling penis, saying the n-word, browsing liveleak, anything that is taboo is fair game to those underdeveloped idiots.
Again, the commenter bellow represents what should be done. You have to challenge them without making them defensive. If the conduct repeats over and over, then yes, you will have to escalate. But if you do that out the gate they will see the engagement as a victory because they got under your skin.
It’s not tolerating. It’s drawing them into a situation where you have the upper hand. If you unleash a full broadside, they’ll just hunker down and double down.
Again, I feel like you’re overlooking that kids rarely act this way because they actually care about white supremacy or racism. They do it because it gets big responses like what you’re recommending. It plays right into their hands, and it’ll make the behavior worse if you fight fire with fire.
They put those boots on for the people they hang out with when not a school. Such as the skinhead friend.
Calling edgy is a huge reach. I was an edgy teen and hung out with other edgy teens. We didn’t say or do racist things BC that was the purview of the racist teens. They had their own table and everything. Hung out with their older siblings friends and their extremely fash parents. They had to eventually quit wearing the stars and bars but they just moved on to other signifiers. Lot of the older ones, 16+, had neat little angular peeks of tattoos showing too. A cool little breeding ground that was just ‘tolerated’.
The commenter below’s strategy would be for 8-12. A 14 year old is going to tell you enough that quit bothering them.
Based, thank you. Fuck racists. Unlimited revenge upon racists.
I am her teacher, not her peer. I want her to come out a better person on the other end, that is the only approach I am willing to take because that is my role here. I get your anger, I was furious when it happened, and so was the other teacher (who is part of this minority group I mentioned) but still. It’s a child and so the parents are to be held responsible for something going SO wrong.
Bullying kids (when you’re in a role as a educator no less) isn’t the answer, I agree. But don’t just pussyfoot around the issue either- and don’t wait till you’re both behind closed doors to tell this brat off. You are responsible for more than just this one wayward child- you have other students who are equally children, and who need to see that this is not acceptable, for various reasons… and these children take priority, whether it be in educating them away from this racist bullshit, or showing them that racism being targeted against them is not accepted- they take priority well before the offending, racist kid does.
A good teacher- hell, any good adult or anyone with a position of power and authority- won’t let people, kids no less, run their mouth with racism. It is an immediate failing on your part if the school environment is such that she goes around spewing racist remarks and dogwhistling (and these things never remain that subtle, when the whole point is her being smug and edgy to begin with) with her… shoelaces and/or whatever. Because the impact is much greater than just the one brat.
If you ask me? You should ask any non-white students how comfortable they feel. If you see her dogwhistling and saying racist shit in public you should also confront her in public. That much is not bullying, rather the opposite- it is working to prevent a culture of bullying, and to show others that this does not fly.
What do you feel you owe to the other kids? Because the way I see it you’re tacitly agreeing that that kid’s ideology (or presentation of it) is acceptable to be displayed.
