I’ve been using a bunch for years. Honestly the vanities don’t bother me the slightest. What bothers me is the way people treat them. First and foremost, the majority of people on these apps aren’t even looking to date! They’re looking to quell their anxiety about whether they are date-able, whether they can find a match in case their current partner dumps them, are curious and want a way to people watch, or just interested in the dopamine they get from swiping profiles. They can’t find a healthy way to use them, so they use it for a little then delete the app because they find themselves addicted then reinstall months later when they find the urge. Or they mute all notifications and rarely open it, then feel bad when someone messaged them a week or two ago and decide it’s better to just not respond. Or they just make a snap judgement over just a few words and refuse to give the other person any time of their day to respond and just ghost. Or they chat for awhile then forget they were chatting because they have no notifications, disappear for a month, then feel anxious about that and rather than apologize just pretend it didn’t happen and delete the chat or match.

It’s just exhausting. I just want to meet people and see who I vibe with and I don’t understand why so many people don’t treat dating apps the same way.