"You WILL pay extra for this toxic mold, inedible mushrooms, and rat roommates, BECAUSE YOU’VE GOT NO OTHER OPTIONS. Now place your bids.
Highest bidder earns the privilege of sleeping with rats & scraping mold.
The rest of you, prepare your cardboard boxes for the streets which have HOMELESS rats in even greater quantity than the recesses of these apartment walls.
I can see the landlord:
"You WILL pay extra for this toxic mold, inedible mushrooms, and rat roommates, BECAUSE YOU’VE GOT NO OTHER OPTIONS. Now place your bids.
Highest bidder earns the privilege of sleeping with rats & scraping mold.
The rest of you, prepare your cardboard boxes for the streets which have HOMELESS rats in even greater quantity than the recesses of these apartment walls.
Mwah-ah-AH!"