First, I am a late diagnosis, so if some of my terminology is offensive please tell me, assimilation is hard.
On the the point, I have been noticing a pattern, I am in a number of allistic or mixed groups, online or in meetup type spaces. I am trying to expand my social circle, and I have nearly always been alone.
Is it typical amongst nurotypical people to respond to a question with need for information questions and then, when they realize that (and I don’t know which) they’re not interested or they can’t help they just move on, not explain that they can’t help or aren’t interested?
This feels like a likely theory. Something like:
I thought I could help (knew something, whatever) but turns out I don’t. Now I am embarrassed, and don’t want to admit my mistake.
That is valid. I could give some grace to that situation, this really did help. I was ready to be angry about it, but this is much better.