• mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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    6 days ago

    Boomer tropes exist because divorce was illegal.

    You were expected to get married and stay married. You’d have unprotected sex with your high school boyfriend, you’re goddamn right you were gonna keep the baby, and you were going to live together until one of you died. Even if it meant separate beds and not asking why he frequented that bar by the docks.

    Blame Catholicism. That’s usually a fair bet.

    • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      You can freely ignore the dipshit who thinks “almost nobody was permitted to divorce” means “people went to jail for back-alley divorces.”

    • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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      5 days ago

      When was divorce illegal?

      Edit: Divorce has never been illegal since the founding of the USA. It was uncommon, but it was granted by courts which means it was legal just uncommon.

      • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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        6 days ago

        The US didn’t get no-fault divorce until after the moon landing.

        Prior to that:

        Divorce was considered to be against the public interest, and civil courts refused to grant a divorce except if one party to the marriage had betrayed the “innocent spouse.” Thus, a spouse suing for divorce in most states had to show a “fault” such as abandonment, cruelty, incurable mental illness, or adultery. If an “innocent” husband and wife wished to separate, or if both were guilty, “neither would be allowed to escape the bonds of marriage.”

        Divorce was barred if evidence revealed any hint of complicity between spouses to manufacture grounds for divorce, such as if the suing party engaged in procurement or connivance (contributing to the fault, such as by arranging for adultery), condonation (forgiving the fault either explicitly or by continuing to cohabit after knowing of it), or recrimination (the suing spouse also being guilty).

          • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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            5 days ago

            As if it’s something you can go out and do and be punished for. No: it simply was not allowed. The state said no.

            This is stupid hair-splitting. You did not have a right to shit - you had to beg. Virginia did not grant any woman a divorce for an entire generation.

            • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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              5 days ago

              “After the colonies gained independence, states joining the union liberalized their divorce laws, as did the associated territories, with many permitting local courts to grant divorce. A few retained authority to grant divorce at the state level. In Virginia, for example, petitioners had to apply to the Virginia General Assembly for a divorce, and during the first thirty years of statehood, no female petitioner was granted a divorce.[1]”

              So it really looks like Virginia was the exception and not the rule. It wasn’t illegal at all and there was a legal framework for how it worked which, again, suggests that the initial claim that it was illegal was incorrect

              https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_in_the_United_States

              • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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                5 days ago

                ‘Here’s an example of how extremely legally restricted divorce was.’

                ‘Nuh uh, here’s the same example.’

                Fuck off.

                There’s a legal framework for when you’re allowed to kill someone. Under narrow circumstances - the state will tolerate it. Otherwise, they sure don’t. The only reason nobody went to jail for an unregistered divorce is that there is no such thing.

                And even then, surely some people went to jail for enabling divorce, when a cottage industry popped up to fabricate excuses. Because excuses were required. Otherwise: divorce was not legal. The state would not recognize it. Without a very specific reason, you could not legally get divorced.

                • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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                  5 days ago

                  I didnt give you the same example. I gave you the context for why your example was the exception and not the rule.

                  That was an incorrect statement Im not sure why you are throwing a temper tantrum over the fact.

                  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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                    5 days ago

                    It’s an example of how extreme the rule could be, tone-policing troll. It is unequivocal proof you couldn’t just go get a divorce, because the state would almost certainly say, fuck off. Because - in general - by default - it wasn’t fucking legal. It was so restricted that zero women in an entire state were granted one, for thirty years, and you think other states granting more than zero means it was easy sailing.

                    What the fuck else do you think divorce being illegal would look like? What else could those words mean?

                    If divorce required a tax stamp, would it suddenly click for you?

              • binchoo@lemm.ee
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                5 days ago

                Did you even read your source?

                “Prior to the latter decades of the 20th century, divorce was considered to be against the public interest, and civil courts refused to grant a divorce except if one party to the marriage had betrayed the “innocent spouse.” Thus, a spouse suing for divorce in most states had to show a “fault” such as abandonment, cruelty, incurable mental illness, or adultery. If an “innocent” husband and wife wished to separate, or if both were guilty, “neither would be allowed to escape the bonds of marriage.” Divorce was barred if evidence revealed any hint of complicity between spouses to manufacture grounds for divorce, such as if the suing party engaged in procurement or connivance (contributing to the fault, such as by arranging for adultery), condonation (forgiving the fault either explicitly or by continuing to cohabit after knowing of it), or recrimination(the suing spouse also being guilty).”

                • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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                  5 days ago

                  Yes that’s called the legal framework for how it worked. I have three ancestors who received divorces in the USA in the 1800s (two had kids together, and one never had kids with the divorced spouse). The two that had kids and divorced were over her infidelity and the third was beaten by her drunk husband.

                  I have no idea why you think it was illegal after the source tells you how it worked.

                  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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                    5 days ago

                    ‘My family met the extreme exceptions where it was tolerated, so being otherwise illegal isn’t real.’

                    Horse: drink.

              • Taleya@aussie.zone
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                5 days ago

                well there’s also the fact this was in Australia.

                No fault divorce was a huge game changer for the US and other countries - prior to this there had to be a party at fault, and this had to be provable fault. So while it was not technically illegal, it still had a great deal of punitive legalese tied up into it that made it very very hard to do.

                • QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works
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                  5 days ago

                  It was legal. There was no criminal penalty for it and it was handled by the legal system. It being uncommon is not the same as it being illegal.

                  No fault divorce made it easier and more common. It did not legalize it by any definition of that word.