I was like this for years and then I found the cure.
“I’m sorry, I have a terrible memory for names and I have forgotten yours.”
I have said this dozens and dozens of times in the last decade or so and have yet to have anyone be angry about it.
In fact in a fairly large proportion of cases, they then tell you that they have also forgotten your name as well. They are so relieved that you broke the “must remember name taboo” for them that they are grateful to you.
I do that sometimes, and I definitely agree with everything you said.
But… ok so what happens is I’m talking to somebody and they remember all this personal stuff about me and they seem really cool and I’m like I don’t know you so I ask their name and they tell me but then SOMETIMES what happens is it doesn’t ring a bell AT ALL and I end up not saying anything in response and staring at them like an idiot because now I know their name but still have no memories of this person prior to the last five minutes they’ve been talking to me and then it’s awkward and they get disappointed and I just. Wyxbpshxjwdj
People remember different things because different things are important to different people.
If the issue I have with remembering names, (I have tried multiple tricks to try and change that with no success) is going to upset someone who did remember details of a previous conversation, then the relationship is not going to have much success.
If I am colour-blind and a person gets upset about it, there is nothing I can do and the problem is with them, not me.
I had a college fitness class teacher who told us all on the first day, “I am really bad with names. You’ll need to remind me your name many times this semester. It’s not because I don’t care about you, I’m just very introverted and it’s something I struggle with.” It made me feel better about having the same problem and I’ve been using that line since.
I was like this for years and then I found the cure.
“I’m sorry, I have a terrible memory for names and I have forgotten yours.”
I have said this dozens and dozens of times in the last decade or so and have yet to have anyone be angry about it.
In fact in a fairly large proportion of cases, they then tell you that they have also forgotten your name as well. They are so relieved that you broke the “must remember name taboo” for them that they are grateful to you.
I do that sometimes, and I definitely agree with everything you said.
But… ok so what happens is I’m talking to somebody and they remember all this personal stuff about me and they seem really cool and I’m like I don’t know you so I ask their name and they tell me but then SOMETIMES what happens is it doesn’t ring a bell AT ALL and I end up not saying anything in response and staring at them like an idiot because now I know their name but still have no memories of this person prior to the last five minutes they’ve been talking to me and then it’s awkward and they get disappointed and I just. Wyxbpshxjwdj
Then it doesn’t ring a bell.
People remember different things because different things are important to different people.
If the issue I have with remembering names, (I have tried multiple tricks to try and change that with no success) is going to upset someone who did remember details of a previous conversation, then the relationship is not going to have much success.
If I am colour-blind and a person gets upset about it, there is nothing I can do and the problem is with them, not me.
Yeah, fair point. The awkwardness definitely isn’t as big of a deal as it feels like in the moment.
It’s still nightmare fuel imo, lol, but everybody’s different. I agree that it’s no reason to feel guilty or upset with someone, for sure.
I had a college fitness class teacher who told us all on the first day, “I am really bad with names. You’ll need to remind me your name many times this semester. It’s not because I don’t care about you, I’m just very introverted and it’s something I struggle with.” It made me feel better about having the same problem and I’ve been using that line since.