One of big hurdles with therapy is finding a therapist that won’t gaslight me with capitalist propaganda when I express political or career angst. Being well adjusted to an insane system is not the goal I’m looking for.
This really depends on where you are located and what degree/license the therapist has.
For example, I’m a licensed clinical social worker in the Denver metro area. I got a ton of education on the issues of power, oppression, and privilege in grad school. All my colleagues are aware of those issues and would fully support you in your view.
But go South, and it becomes harder to find a therapist who is aware and won’t push god and religion on you.
In general, if you want more anti-capitalist therapists, lean towards social workers and check out the https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/ directory.
Going to therapy to hear that you need god in your life… Omg
Yup… happened to my friend who lives in Mississippi, and a few of my clients. One person was raped by their church camp counselor, but that didn’t stop their former therapist from suggesting religion. I honestly don’t understand how someone can be so tone deaf.
Hey thanks for the input, this helps!
You’re welcome!
In terms of therapy, what are you looking for?
lol I have absolutely had sessions like that with my old therapist after explaining why I’m so panicky sometimes, because I understand at a nuanced and historically informed level what’s happening at a political and geopolitical level here, and all of my bleakest predictions keep coming true
I understand at a nuanced and historically informed level what’s happening at a political and geopolitical level here, and all of my bleakest predictions keep coming true
Let’s test this: Make some specific predictions for various points over, say, the next 5 years (start near future and work your way out). Put them somewhere where they can remain generally fixed but available (say on a pastebin or lemmy post or something). Then come back to look at them after those times have past and see how accurate you are. This would let you see your actual rate of accuracy as opposed to just the ones that stand out because they ended up true), which would ideally lessen your panic or alternatively if you really are getting it right in a consistent fashion we can start calling you gravitas_deficiency the Bleak Prognosticator.
For example just glancing at your profile one you seem to be doubling down on a lot recently is that there will be either no US presidential election in 2028 or no peaceful transfer of power in January 2029. That is easily verifiable in four years time. How do you imagine this will happen? Is it enough to satisfy this if the election happens and the GOP wins with a non-Trump candidate? Do you think opposition to the GOP will simply be made illegal? Do you think they will push an amendment to let Trump run again? Do you think Trump will just run again regardless and argue that the Constitution doesn’t apply to him because seemingly no other law does?
I know what you mean. I largely predicted what is happening now back in 2015, and in this case it was my husband, not my therapist, who told me he believes “the system of checks and balances won’t allow it to happen.” He is an optimist and wanted to believe the US was still a good country. He now agrees with me and gets sad and angry any time something new and horrible happens.
Same, and around the same timeframe.
I never thought that being a history and current events enthusiast would become such a curse. This is some monkey’s paw bullshit :(
It would be really helpful for the depression if I could stop being proven terribly correct every single time anything happens.
Right?!?!?
I am so, so deeply sick of telling so many people “I fucking told you so”. My dad is among the most frustrating of these.
goes to her room and calls the FBI
Does therapy actually help you if you know what your problem is? Also knowing that they’re talking to you because it’s their job feels like the whole thing is a lie and a waste of time.
Yes. I knew (or at least thought I knew) what my problems were but needed help with figuring out what to do about them. Finally started seeing someone to help me with that and they did.
About it feeling fake: It’s their job to help, but I did feel the same at first and told them so. That helped them understand me better.
That’s just self sabotage talking. Knowing about a problem is step one and it’s what gets you in the door.
Just because you know you’ve got a broken pipe doesn’t mean you don’t need a plumber, just because you know your car is broken doesn’t mean you don’t need a mechanic, etc. There’s nothing wrong with someone helping you being a job. That doesn’t mean they won’t do that job.
The main point of therapy is to get you to look at your circumstances in different ways and provide you with coping skills you may not necessarily have developed. You may even be unaware of whatever current maladaptive coping mechanisms you’ve built up over years of just trying to survive. This is where outside professional perspective comes in handy.
However! That’s not to say therapy is a bulletproof process or that all therapists are good or that every therapist is a good fit for every person. I would liken it to finding your preferred barber or massage therapist or something. Sometimes you just got to try options till something works.
Most of my clients know why they are coming, it’s childhood (or other) trauma. That doesn’t mean they don’t get to have new insights on the topic. Also, while we talk, that’s not my main modality. We do EMDR and similar therapies that actually help people process the trauma. I’ve seen it change lives.
Does therapy actually help you if you know what your problem is?
Yes, then you’re already steps ahead. For some people, figuring out what the problem is, already takes therapy, but it doesn’t end there. If you know, what the problem is and know how to fix it, you probably don’t need therapy. But if you know what’s wrong but can’t fix it alone, that’s what therapy is for.
Also knowing that they’re talking to you because it’s their job feels like the whole thing is a lie and a waste of time.
Only if you somehow follow the idea, that the therapist has to like you. That is not the case. It is their job and that’s okay. You’re also just talking to them because it’s their job. Why would you open up to a stranger otherwise?
I mean you should get along together somehow, but you don’t have to be friends with your therapist.
Also one might be aware of the problem but not actually understand the underlying causes.
One can be a bloody genious and still be unable to self-rationalize one’s way out of certain negative behaviours because they’re driven by things at an emotional level (fear, pleasure, habit, need for approval, low self-esteem and so on), because they became entrenched as behavioural patterns when one was too young to understand any of it (as a child or teenager - it’s not by chance that a lot of Psychology “blames” one’s parents) and because without the distancing that comes from looking at it from the outside with no interest in seeing certain things rather than others (it’s generally emotionally unpleasent to notice and admit that certain elements of one’s personality are negative) it’s extremelly hard to spot certain things which for an observant trained independent outsider are very obvious.
Also I totally agree that one shouldn’t be going into it wanting the therapist to like you: people who worry about the impression they make on the therapist are likely not being fully open and honest about themselves to him or her, which kinda defeats the point of going to theraphy (if one was 100% perfect and all qualities, why go to theraphy).
Me when I explain to my therapist what vore is cus its crucial to the session for whatever reason:
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In fact, the more successfully smart you are and perceived as intelligent, the more likely it is you need therapy deeply
Do you have a source on this claim?
I’m curious about that too.
My life experience includes environments (Physics at University level) with a significant number of exceptionally intelligent people and in my observation they weren’t any more “flawed” than everybody else, just with different quirks than most people.
Granted “smart and perceived as intelligent” isn’t actually the same as high IQ, but I’ve also worked in environments with lots of people like that (Investment banking) and again they weren’t any more “flawed” than everybody else and just had different kinds of quirks than most people.
In general, one thing I did notice was that more intelligent people tend to have more “compensation layers” over their disfunctions than less intelligent people.
That said, all this is my opinion from my own life experience, so just as unsupported as the previous poster’s.
Emotional problems often require solutions that work on the emotion level. In my experience, trying to self it yourself sets you up to try to solve it with rationality. But that often does not work, because the problem is not rational in nature.
This is where a therapist helps. It helps you to solve the problem at the emotional level. That is something a person cannot do by themselves. Asking for help is way easier than trying to do it all yourself.
I personally benefit a lot from https://healthygamer.gg/ as a stopgap measure. I still needed actual therapy, but this helped me through the rough times.
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Depending on the problem or rather on your model of the psyche. If you are following a depth analytical approach then you need therapy to reenact your problematic relationships or traumatic events in a healing relationship with another person to integrate them into your conscious self even if you already are fully aware of them.
Yes it actually helps to talk about it and get some outside views onto the topic. Even if you know your issues and possible solutions just talking about it makes one ‘more aware’ of it.
Think of it similar when studying for a math exam. Looking at a solution and saying to yourself “ahh yes, I know that and that’s how I would also do it” is different from just trying it yourself.
And yes it’s the other person’s job but they also want to help, that’s why they chose this career. In Germany there are also a few sessions in the beginning just to check if the patient and therapist are ‘compatible’, because if the patient doesn’t feel safe then it doesn’t help as much.
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Oh man a couple months ago I had to back off a topic because my therapist was obviously about to cry and just barely holding it together… I’m trans and was talking about my worries with how the US is going. They have trans kids and I think my concerns were hitting close to home for them. It was a difficult session for everyone x.x
Did you recommend going to therapy to your therapist?
Just ask her how she feels, then charge her $200
In some countries it’s actually required for therapists to periodically see a therapist. To avoid getting retraumatized by their patients trauma and such
Unironically a good idea. I saw a lot of therapists as a kid, and many of them were more fucked up than I was.
I had one trying to help me “recover” memories of CSA by vividly describing her own experiences of CSA. 80% of the therapy I do now is to recover from therapy then.
Jesus. That’s like… wow. Mental healthcare was the Wild West until very recently. Still feels like it is sometimes, in a lot of respects.
Sounds like a pyramid scheme.
And even those therapists need to see even higher therapists. It’s Dr Phil at the top, I guarantee
Dr Phil isn’t allowed to practice anymore - he started treating a college freshman for anxiety and depression, gave her a job and then started fucking her.
What he does on television has done immense damage to understandings of mental health. That bullshit disgusting tough love, while at the same time being a hypocritical creep and serial adulterer. Send his ass to Turnabout Ranch.
right, one on one therapy is a pyramid scheme, as we all know pyramids are made out of two points.
Because of course every therapist only ever sees one client
I’m stuck at the tutorial boss (“how does that make you feel?”)
“And where do you feel that in your body?”
To this day I don’t understand this. My therapist used to ask this so many times and every time I was like:?? In my brain??? Where thoughts and feelings live???
Can someone explain?
Edit: the fact that you nice people here were able to make me understand this question and my therapist did not reinforces why I stopped going!
I think we sometimes tend to forget that our physical brain lives in a physical body, and the “abstract” thoughts and feelings we experience are very much physiological processes as well. The question aims at reminding us of this fact, drawing attention to any potential psychosomatic responses your body might exhibit to strong emotions. It is easy to repress awareness for these, so to me it makes sense for the therapist to try and dig a little deeper. They’re not doing it to annoy you, they’re trying to help you become aware of (or be more mindful of) your feelings and how they affect the physical body that is experiencing them.
My therapist asked me this on some occasions. Part of my problem is to realize and acknowledge how I’m actually feeling.
“In my brain” was never the answer, when she asked that, I always felt different parts of my body.
It’s the physical manifestation thing. It also helps you try to be more mindful of your feelings. For instance, if you normally feel anxiety in your jaw, and you find your jaw tightening again in whatever situation you find yourself in, you might see if you can slow down and think of your next steps. Why am I feeling anxious? Should I take a break?
This only really made sense to me for the emotions that I strongly felt physically, like anxiety so bad I would get tunnel vision. For smaller physical reactions, not so much.
There’s definitely some physical manifestations of your strongest emotions. Strong feelings of fear or anger trigger musclular reactions in your belly, strong feelings of anxiety or tension in your neck, love and contentment in your chest, etc.
Perhaps they were trying to find those physical connections to gauge the emotion or intensity?
I was always annoyed by this question for the same reasoning. However, as another person already said, you can sometimes feel it in some part of the body. When feeling bad, it feels like pressure in my stomach, there a a few other.such connections. Now I find it somewhat useful as part of mindfullness.
I do still get annoyed when asked this question, partly because whenever he asks the question i do not feel it anywhere, also it seems irrelevant. But the main reason is probably defiance that this seemingly stupid question of him was sensible all along. So much I had to write this response.
“Show me on this doll…”
unironically sat 2 hours in pure silence because there were no other inputs from both sides. so i rather just sit the silence out in isolation
I did this too! Started out as a “test” or temper tantrum, but afterwards it felt so safe he didn’t start talking, that it really was a space where I was in control.
Stupid clever therapist.
sounds positive, glad it helps you. my message was more resignation based ^^
I’ve been told by my therapist I have the worst case she has ever seen. Yes I’m winning it ;)
What category speed run are you going for? Worst case% in hygienic rigor
My therapist called me the most cynical 24 year old she’d ever seen. I’m 37 now.
I made my therapist lose her shits, because I sat in her chair once.
The arrangement was a small table and two identical chairs on either side, with no indication who has to sit where, other than how we’d usually do it and no clear instructions.
She couldn’t handle it and couldn’t let it go weeks after that session.
Am I winning?Username chacks out. You gave her an aunerism.
Edit: on a serious note that’s crazy. Like she should have fixed her issues
Yeah, she was weird anyways. Our session mostly consisted of arguments about our conflicting world views.
Unfortunately it was my first therapy and it took me way too long to call it quits and find a different therapist. But I did, eventually.
So if you lose therapy … you’re going to need therapy for that
I think if you lose therapy, The witnesses will need therapy.
